Porn Valley- Kylie Ireland was in New Zealand recently to attend an Erotic Expo there. And Ireland’s guest on her KSEX show, www.ksexradio.com, Thursday night was Jacklyn Lick, one of the original KSEX peejays, who also went to New Zealand. Both women were promoting their Las Vegas Novelties toy line. Ireland said they went to sign at the convention and to do appearances. “We did all kinds of crazy shit,” she said. “They had us doing this thing- boobs on bikes. It was fucking freezing cold. It was winter time in New Zealand.” Ireland said she wound up with 400 pictures for her website.

Ireland mentioned that a fan had given both her and Lick bone necklaces. “They mean predictions for your future and if you give them to two people at the same time then we’re bound by friendship.” Lick added that it meant they were bound by infinity forever. Ireland mentioned that she picked up a cold whereas Lick managed to get through the trip unscathed. Ireland said that Lick is into all the New Age weird stuff, hence. “She gets vitamin injections.” Laugh if you will, Lick said she was the only one on the trip who apparently didn’t get sick.

It was mentioned that Lick has just directed a movie. “I felt so powerful,” she laughed. Lick said it was for her own company Good Girls productions which she just started. “I had Lee Stone, Aria, Tommy Gunn, Jolene, Dee, who I adore and Ashley Renee. It was a ton of fun.” Lick said she also used two guys from the mainstream who had never done adult before. “They were hot. They were for my big and dumb collection.” Lick explained that her shoots are for women and that she tries to get in as much eye candy as possible. Lick said she had the guys giving her massage. “My business partner is going we should have done this scene last because it was the first of the day,” said Lick. “I should have waited until the end of the day for this.” Lick said she had them do her with a new Las Vegas Novelties toy. “It’s an iced dildo. It is the bomb.” ireland wondered how the guys didn’t wind up doing Lick. “Because they’re mainstream,” Lick replied as if that was enough of an explanation. “But I could tell the look in the eye of one of the guys.”

Lick said the guy is so “frickin’ hot” but is the dumbest guy in the whole world. “Love them big and dumb- love them like that.” Lick said it was also hard for her to direct Lee Stone because the two of them have a bit of history notwithstanding the fact that he outweighs her by about 200 pounds. Nevertheless, Lick had Stone and Aria do a scene in a bathtub. Stone was joking about the fact that the director could have put him in a bed but elected to wedge him in a bath tub. Lick joked about taking advantage of her power as a director to the fullest extent. “I’ll be the first to admit that.” Lick also mentioned her intent to go on a World Domination Tour. “We want to go find out what the average penis size is in every country.” Lick conceded that they learned very little in New Zealand. Lick said she made a deal with her partner that Lick will test all the big countries and she could test all the small ones. “She didn’t like that.”

Ireland said she was keeping a daily diary of the trip to New Zealand. “And the stories I’m coming up with are hysterical.” In one story Lick said Ireland had been talking Polaroids with guys who were on the shy side. But it was pointed out that the guys got naked for the pictures. Lick said she was asking a girl from New Zealand what the average penis size was. “She said it’s not looking good mate. That pretty much set the whole tone.” Lick said she had plans on fucking half of New Zealand. There are 1.5 million people there. “I was figuring if I could fuck ten percent of them in two weeks I’d be good. But no. It wasn’t happening.” To that end, Lick said thank goodness for Evan Stone. ireland noted that Stone was a gentleman despite his reputation for being hyper and weird. “He was so sweet.” Lick said Stone romanced the pants off her. “We just got off the plane and fucked. The pants were off.”

Lick said she was fucking Stone with her pants down and purse and sunglasses still in her hand. “And Evan’s going to town.” Ireland aid she was knocking on the door and as finally let in. “I hear all these sex sounds- good Lord.” It was also pointed out that Syren tends to make seal sounds while she’s having sex. “She’s not a porn star any more,” said Ireland. “But she’s a porn star in a hotel room,” Lick hastened to point out.

Ireland said it was discovered that Syren and Evan Stone were having a torrid fuck affair in New Zealand. The way she found out, said Ireland, is that one morning she woke up to the sounds of someone screaming. Ireland said she went to investigate and found out the sounds were coming from Syren’s room. “He was fucking her so hard. It was eight in the morning. My God it sounds like someone’s killing her. It sounded like baby seal being murdered.” Lick who was also listening in, said the sounds would start-up then stop intermittently. Ireland said every morning Stone would show up at the door in neon obnoxious spandex shorts holding tea and a cup. Lick said the shorts were tailored for Stone’s penis. “It was the funniest thing I ever saw.” Lick said Stone apparently had a color for every day in the week. Ireland said what was particularly funny was when they’d go to the private hot tub an Stone would be casually walking through the hotel lobby in those shorts. “He’d be flopping in the breeze- oh my God, Evan can’t you cover that up?”

Lick said one morning she got a wake up call from Stone who was standing naked in the hallway. “With the cup of tea and a teapot.” Ireland said Stone was a real gentleman on the trip, opening doors and carrying bags. “But when he did you he treated you like a dirty little filthy fucking whore.” Lick said Stone is the perfect man and she’s been trying to get him to move in. “But he’s not returning my calls.” Ireland suggested that he might be over at Syren’s, and on the day that Stone left New Zealand he gave Syren an official Evan Stone Productions jacket. “Just like high school.” It was mentioned that Syren wore the jacket everywhere she went. “It was so cute.”