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Jimmy Mofo’s Editorial

What do men have to do to get pussy in this country with out getting charged with rape? What are we suppose to do just rent porno’s and jerk off for the rest of our lives? Wait a minute! Us married men already do that! Damn, I keep forgetting I have a penis that is useless since I married a Latin chic that doesn’t believe in cheating and knows how to use a knife a la Lorena Bobbitt.

Anyway, getting back, I don’t know if Kobe raped that Colorado freak or not. But here is my advice to Kobe and anyone else. Do not bone chicks with your penis ever! If you must screw a chic or the chic is demanding some serious banging, you know what you do? You put a strap-on on with a huge hollow dildo on it and then you can bang her until she’s screaming your name. Go to Topco and ask for Jennifer and she will hook you up. Make sure you ask for the hollow dildo so you can put your penis in it. This way there is no DNA evidence because your penis actually never makes any contact and your bitch won’t accuse you of cheating since you actually didn’t really bang her.

And no jury is going to believe that a girl crying couldn’t get up and bolt from the room while you were putting on your 18-inch, red dildo strap on. Perhaps the best thing to do is just jack off. Go to my site and jerk off to my galleries of Bella Donna, Tiffany Mynx, Avy Scott, Vandalia and Nikki 666. Or get some cool Mofo Wear for yourself.


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