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Judge Blames Stripper For Kenneth Starr’s Financial Fraud

Strippers are always welcome at

New York – from – As you may have heard, a Manhattan judge sentenced Kenneth Starr to 7.5 years in prison yesterday, for his $33 million scam that took money out of the hands of Uma Thurman, Al Pacino and Carly Simon, among others. Starr told the court that he “can’t believe what he did,” saying that he “lost” his moral compass. US District Court Judge Shira Scheindlin agreed, and went so far as to pinpoint the moment Starr lost his compass– the second he laid his eyes on the assets pictured at left.

“He seemed to have lost his moral compass partly as a result of infatuation with his young fourth wife,” Scheindlin said.

That wife being Diane Passage, the former Scores stripper who’s now twice taken the heat for messing with Starr’s “compass” (according to the criminal complaint, “Starr’s behavior outside the office also turned erratic after taking up with Passage in 2005. He began to forsake his own counsel about modest appearances, spending more than $400,000 on jewelry from Jacob & Co in several months”). Where was Passage when her man was getting sentence? “Front and center in a body-hugging skirt that left little to the imagination. Her cleavage was so generous, she used it to tuck in her sunglasses.”


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