Porn Valley- Alana Evans, Lynn LeMay and Lou Bricate had something in common this week. None of them showed for their scheduled PrimeTimeUncensored appearances, www.primetimeuncensored.com.
Evans was supposed to be a guest on K.C. Armstrong’s show, presumably to promote her role in the Brady XXX movie. Then LeMay and Bricate, who began a Sci-Fi/Horror show a couple of weeks ago right after Armstrong’s program, were not heard from. Michael Fattorosi tried contacting them and got respective voice mails.
The no-shows also complemented Dr. Joel Kaplan’s. Kaplan, according to Armstrong, is a penis pump specialist, but the whereabouts of “The Cock Doc” were also a mystery.
So with plenty of time on his hands, Armstrong, generally a paragon of sophistication, played some video clips of Robert Tilton who’s known as the farting preacher, then handed the show over to co-host Lisa Marie who promptly turned her ass into a blast furnace by cutting progressive slices of cheese into the mike. Even with an attempted queef that failed, Armstrong was highly impressed.
“Your ass was stellar tonight, you got happy ass- it’s like Chernobyl,” complimented Armstrong who earlier had a phone conversation with Betsy Jo Miller, an apparent crackpot from Oklahoma who claims to have proof that there’s a heaven but offered little to substantiate making reservations.
Miller, an obvious practitioner of mumbo jumbo, also stated categorically that there’s no hell- a notion that should practically kill the market for hand baskets.
To that end, Miller has written a book titled, Wisdom of the Gods: Creating Consciously in an Unconscious World- the unconscious part being right up Armstrong’s alley.
“Some people wonder if I have a screw missing,” stated Miller obviously anticipating majority reaction to her ideas. Miller went on to describe herself as “a shit disturber.”
Miller explained how she lost her 16 year-old son and began meditating. Then a friend took her to a psychic who operated a Ouija Board and Miller herself began experimenting with pendulums and secret messages.
[Much like the Adultfyi football pool’s Billy the Crystal who predicts the outcome of football games with amazing 50-50 results.]
According to Miller, she then started getting visions of missing children in trouble although nothing ever came of that because cops didn’t want to hear anything more from cuckoos and psychics. Then when Miller began talking about guides in the other realm, you could hear the factory packaging for the straight jackets crinkling.
“What happens when we die?” asked Armstrong. Miller’s answer was the enigma wrapped within a riddle with her references to higher self.
“There’s no judgment for right or wrong,” continued Miller with an answer that must certainly come as a blow to capital punishment advocates.
“Every Jew’s going nuts,” Armstrong mused.
“What have I learned from this?” he asked aloud. “Never book anyone from Oklahoma.”
Later on in the show, Fattorosi announced on air that PrimeTimeUncensored ranked 23 on the Top 100 Internet TV shows as rated by Media Channel.com.
With that news, Lisa Marie let out an appreciative ass belch.