Porn News

Kiss’ Gene Simmons & His Tongue on a Condom

Condoms are not required at www.adultcybermart.com

Los Angeles – www.jewishjournal.com – I am sure that Gene Simmons’ mother is proud of him. He is a good Jewish kid who followed his dreams and ended up with fame and fortune. While I’m sure she loves his long-time girlfriend and their two kids, there must be a tiny part of her that is disappointed he didn’t settle down with a Jewish girl.

Any bad feelings she may have felt must now be completely forgiven. What could he have done to inspire such forgiveness and love from his mother? He is putting his face on a condom! As a Jewish mother, I can tell you that nothing would make me prouder of my son than his face on a condom.

Gene Simmons is the king of marketing and branding his name and likeness. You can find KISS on just about anything and I am surprised it took him this long to break into the condom market. Perhaps “break” is not a word you want associated with condoms, but you know what I mean.

A company called Graphic Armor Inc. is releasing new “Picture Condoms”. They meet all FDA requirements and claim to be the first to feature full-color images right on the latex. The first set of condoms will be branded with the rock band Kiss, and show Simmons’ tongue in all it’s glory.

The condoms will cost $7.99 for a package of 3. Really? Are people going to pay 8 bucks for 3 condoms? An even more interesting question is who exactly are these people? Is there a man who will be able to maintain arousal with Gene Simmons and his tongue staring up at him?

We are all aware of the tremendous gift Mr. Simmons’ mouth has been blessed with and I would be lying if I said I was not curious and frankly excited at the possibility of coming in contact with it, but when I said I’d like to “give that a go”, I can assure you I was not talking about a condom.

Gene, we all know you are a branding whore, and good for you! You have kept yourself and your band front and center for decades after you began, but condoms? Really? There is now officially nothing in the world that cannot be purchased with your face on it. Mazel Tov.

A man is a serious KISS fan to be able to perform sexually with Simmons right there in the mix, and a girl is bold to ask her man to wrap it up with Gene’s tongue. It’s weird and I’m going to pass. That said, if Gene doesn’t do it for you, Paul Stanley will be coming in summer.

The sexual innuendos in this piece are never ending and if I were having a drink I’d be having a field day. Gene must really need the money to put his face on another man’s penis, so God Bless him. Jewish mothers are telling their sons they can achieve anything, just look at Gene!

To be honest, while I am 100% certain I will not use this product, I will be buying it out of pure curiosity. I will buy it, marvel at it, laugh at it, and then toss it. By toss it of course I mean save it. Will my son ever put his face on a condom? No. But just in case, I’m keeping the faith.

181 Views

Related Posts

Fleshy to Launch Interactive Cam Site ‘Eremote’

SHERIDAN, Wyo. — Male pleasure brand Fleshy has announced that it will launch an interactive, bidirectional cam site next month called Eremote. "Breaking away from traditional cam site models, Eromote will allow users to surrender control to performers, creating a…

Hitting All the Right Notes: Up Close With Destiny Mira

What started out as “a funny little name” for her old spam page has turned into a calling card for Destiny Mira.

2025 Trans Erotica Awards Pre-Noms Open Now

The 2025 Trans Erotica Awards (TEAs) has opened its pre-nomination period starting today through November 15.

WIA Profile: Rae Threat

Rae Threat started off as a nightlife photographer during the MySpace era, documenting Los Angeles parties thrown by notable scene promoters like Franki Chan and Steve Aoki. This got her noticed by labels like Mad Decent, which invited Threat to…

Proxy Paige Explores ‘Fetish Fixations’ With New Evil Angel Title

Director Proxy Paige captures adventurous beauties indulging in graphic acts of lesbian anal kink in her latest Evil Angel title, "Fetish Fixations," available now on all platforms.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.