Porn Valley- Hailey’s Comet comes around more often, but today KSEX Radio, www.ksexradio.com finally got a plug on the Howard Stern Show. The Internet station has had a number of its peejays on Stern in the last year or two- but, alas, never any promo.
But, in ’round about fashion, both KSEX and Onyx Films, www.onyxxxfilms.com got some national love. How did this happen? Stern was doing a recap of the AVN Awards Show and playing some acceptance speeches and interviews from the red carpet.
Stern and his staff got some amusement from a porn actress who’s billing herself as Britney Rears. Pointing out that porn’s a “goof” and that it’s just women having sex, Stern wondered if you’d want to make your whole career as Britney Rears. Whereas, it was noted that Jenna Jameson sounds like a legitimate name, Stern figured that Rears was saddled with a name that would solicit guffaws. On Jameson, Stern said her name is golden. “Every star that you interview you say to them who do you idolize and who do you fashion your career after, everything’s Jenna Jameson. One guy even said we walk in her tidal wave. She is the industry. She is the Meryl Streep, if you will, of porn. She’s the Tom Cruise of porn, the Harrison Ford of porn.”
Stern then played a clip of Rears being interviewed by Gary Garber. Rears said she just started about three months go. “I have a video coming out called Britney Rears’ Wild Backstage Sex Party coming out in March,” she told Garber. “It’s my first.” Referring to herself as “fresh meat,” Rears said her role model was Jameson and Tera Patrick.
Resident Stern porn hound Richard Christy said Rears was new to him, that he tried an Internet search and came up with nothing. “She looked real hot,” said Christy but didn’t agree that she resembled Britney Spears.
“Who’s Cytherea?” Stern then asked. “It sounds like VD.” Stern had to be reminded that Cytherea, www.clubcytherea.com was a guest on the show only a couple of weeks back. Christy said he couldn’t say on the air what Cytherea is known for. Artie Lange remembered the governor story to make the Cytherea connection.
Stern then played the clip of Garber interviewing Cytherea on the red carpet. She mentions that she’s up for ten awards but that the most important to her was Best New Starlet. Christy explained that it’s a huge award at the show. “I think that’s the most coveted. I don’t know if their rate goes up or they just become more popular. But that’s a big deal. Everybody said that’s the big awardof the night.”
Stern observed that the show has certainly been dressed up. “But it’s still porn.” Stern also explained that Cytherea won her award for “taking it everywhere you can imagine”.
In the clip, Cytherea is heard thanking, besides KSEX, Harry Weiss and her mother.
“I don’t care who your mom is,” said Stern. “I don’t care if she’s white trash or what, there’s no mom that can be proud of this. I don’t care how much they indulge their little baby. She should be arrested. You don’t thank your mom for something like this.
Cytherea also thanked “the great directors and companies that I worked for…all the girls and the guys that I’ve worked for, Wankus and KSEX Radio.com, Tim Myron…” Stern also threw in a thanks for all the neighbors that molested Cytherea.
There was also a heavily edited clip of the evening’s host Thea Vidale joking about the size of Lexington Steele’s cock and how she doesn’t need 12-inches buried up her kidneys. She’s also heard to exchange quips with porn star Savanna Samson. In the next segment, the Best Ethnic Themed Black Feature winner Pimpfomation is announced. Stern said his money was riding on Booty Talk 50.
“This is like a real award’s show,” said Stern as the acceptance speech is heard. Noting that rap artists are now indulging the porn craft, Christy wondered when it would be time for pop stars and country stars to take the plunge.
“You could have had Pam Anderson there; you could have had Paris Hilton,” said Stern. “They got porno out. You could have had Chyna.” Christy informed Stern that Hilton’s tape won for top selling video of last year. But Hilton wasn’t there to accept.
A segment also featured Lexington Steele and Katsumi winning an award for Best Anal scene. “I wonder what kind of music they’re going to play for best anal movie?” Stern pondered then chided Katsumi’s accent, “I haven’t gone to da batroom in a mont.” It was pointed out that Lexington gets all serious with a message to the industry.
“This year has been a very tough year for many of us,” Steele is heard to say. “We had one of our friends become stricken with an HIV situation following some activities outside of our country. One thing we need to remember, collectively, as a billion dollar industry, that we must protect ourselves.” Steele’s comment draws applause. Stern said it was good that Steele made the announcement because if Cytherea had done it, it wouldn’t have been taken so seriously. “Or Britney Rears.”
Steele goes on to talk about how the porn industry as a family needs to circle its wagons when the mainstream media takes a shot at it. “Let’s protect ourselves collectively as a family. We are the adult industry. We are the beautiful people.”
Gary Dell’Abate mentions that near the end of the show, Zolar and Miss Howard Stern “wander” on to the stage with Zolar, her manager, trying to put Miss Howard Stern on the mike. “It’s a whole mess.”
Stern then asked who Reuben Sturman was. Gary said he didn’t know but that the award named after Sturman was a lifetime achievement one. “Sort of a maverick award- somebody who’s done something for the industry. The guy that won it…Harry Mohney.” Christy thought that was the award Stern won a couple of years ago for which Beetlejuice accepted. Stern then asked who Mohney was and no one knew, although Stern was mentioned in Mohney’s acceptance speech.
The Stern crew then began ragging on Mohney for referring to Larry Flynt as Larry Flynn and Paul Fishbein as Fishbaum.
“Nobody appears to be listening,” Stern said of the speech. There had been mentions of the “10 billion dollar industry” all evening and Stern said from a p.r. standpoint they have to keep pointing that out. That way Christy won’t feel bad about downloading all of those free images.
It was also reported that Heidi Fleiss is building a brothel that’s an exact replica of the White House. Fleiss is heard to say that the brothel, located well outside of Las Vegas, will be open in about four months. Fleiss says she’ll start off with between 40 to 60 girls and will charge a $5,000 entrance fee. “You get a girl with it.”
Stern suggested it better be good for that price. There was also speculation about Jenna’s physical well being. Christy said she looked healthy at the awards. It was mentioned that Jenna had been diagnosed with melanoma and Stern remembered a psychic saying on his show that she had kidney cancer. “That’s pretty close, though.”
Jesse Jane is then heard talking about Tommy Lee, noting that they’re no longer an item and that she’s dating Kid Rock. “I’m a rocker chick.” But Jane also states in a bleeped comment that Tommy Lee is larger and better in the sack. “But Kid Rock’s a better person.” Stern said if you’re Kid Rock, who wants to hear that.