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Michael Brandon Returns to the Nob Hill Theatre

from – Hot porn star Michael Brandon has returned to the Nob Hill Theatre. The Nob Hill Theatre has been a San Francisco landmark and gay institution since its opening in 1968. I like to call it The Nob Hill, where you can polish your knob on a hill. It has hosted premiere parties for such porn studios as Raging Stallion, Falcon, and Colt with such porn star greats as Adam Champ, Shane Rollins, Josh Weston, and Carlo Massie. Brandon and Chi Chi LaRue have emceed several festive parties there in the past.

On March 13, Brandon, the San Francisco legend and gay superstar, appeared at the Nob Hill Theatre to preview his hosting the weekly Sexotica Party, which features Griffin’s Cabaret Voyeur, a unique erotic entertainment set adding song, dance, and theatre to live sex shows. This is a masturbatory fantasy unlike any other – mixing burlesque, fetish, and bondage.

The night began with a VIP party downstairs with delicious canapés and a cocktail entitled by its creator: “The Take Off Your Pants Punch,” because it could subtly hit you with its sweetness until you realize – after too many glasses of the deadly vodka, beer, orange juice, and lemonade mix – that you are smashed. Along with the performers for the evening, Sister Roma and Sister MaeJoy joined the party. An hour or so later, we emerged to the screening room to watch the shows on stage, beginning with the foursome of Rusty, Rico, Troy, and Isaac, portrayed as (in no particular order) cop, cowboy, army man, and leatherman. This nun was particularly attracted to Rico – perhaps because he wore a huge rhinestone cross around his neck. Or maybe because he could suck his own dick and also put his boots behind his head. Or perhaps because he gave me a lap dance.

The next show was with Azir, Tattoo, and Tiger who were three tough hombre outlaws with bandanas across their faces. They were obviously out to hold us up – or at least hold something up! They danced to Bon Jovi’s “Wanted Dead or Alive”: “I’m a cowboy; on a steel horse I ride.” The trio joined in a hot three-way scene to the song “Save a Horse; Ride a Cowboy.” Tiger was a great dancer – especially on my lap.

There was also a solo performance by Chris Neil (whose tank top not so subtly stated “SEX” in bold letters) from North Carolina, who has been a model since 2003 in innumerable films from Raging Stallion, Treasure Island, SX, Hot House, (his own company), and many other industry outlets. He did a sizzling strip tease and jack-off scene, working it out on a weight bench. He said he is training to be a dog whisperer. He got his first pit bull at age 19 and has been defending the much maligned species ever since. He is proud to announce he will be featured (completely out as a gay porn actor) in a piece on pit bulls to be broadcast on Animal Planet channel, because they want to get a little edgier.

David Burcio, event planner, announced a new concept at Nob Hill, saying, “We are going in a new direction.” He said, “It’s all about good quality erotic entertainment.” He did not exaggerate. The Voyeur portion was like no other live sex show I have seen before. It was brilliantly choreographed by one of the dancers, Roar, and is almost beyond description. Roar and Burcio come up with the show concept each month. They equally score the music. Each month they change the theme of the show. Past themes were Vampire Bloodlust, Roaring 20’s, Tribal, and this month’s is Apocalypse.

There is a lot of clever use of light coordinated with sound in scene after changing scene – seamlessly following in rapid progression. In the opening, men in orange jumpsuits, space goggles, and lights emitting from their sleeves attack earthlings while a disembodied voice reads scary passages from the Book of Revelations in the Bible about the Mark of the Beast and the Lake of Fire. In another scene, a half naked man is strapped crucifixion style to his master and is deliciously tortured. A few other scenes offer “fire” dancing, except since real fire is outlawed in the theater, they twirl fluorescent lights in near darkness. In a different beastly scene, the models enact a scene set to “I Want to Fuck You like an Animal.” There is so much more, but I don’t want to give it all away.

The evening was capped with a midnight performance from Michael Brandon himself, who came out completely nude. “I’m just gonna get right to it, okay?” he said, dripping oil down his chiseled chest and working on The Monster, as he rightly names his dick, while Madonna’s “Erotic,” “Deeper and Deeper,” and “Vogue” played in the background. Brandon gave me a fantastic lap dance, allowing me to pet and kiss The Monster. Hey, you fellow pervs, you don’t want to miss this Saturday night fun fuck fest!

Griffin’s Cabaret Voyeur takes place every Saturday at 11 p.m. The Rookies Competition takes place every Sunday at 9 p.m. Friday’s feature sex shows begin at 11 p.m. The Nob Hill Theatre is open from 9 a.m. to 2:30 a.m. every day of the week. An all day pass is $30 and allows the customer to come in and out of the theatre all day. Live shows begin at noon and continue every half hour until 1:30 a.m. Shows feature completely nude male performers of all different body types. Customers with a valid student I.D. will receive $10 off a regularly priced pass. Every Wednesday is Local’s Night. All customers with and I.D. or letter that shows residence in the Bay Area will get 50% off a regularly priced pass. And anyone can get $10 off a regularly priced pass if he buys it before noon. Go check out the fun!


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