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Not Three’s Company XXX, Directed by Will Ryder; a Review

The porn parodies keep getting better and better. This time around director Will Ryder delivers a perfectly orchestrated sex farce in Not Three’s Company XXX [distributed by LFP].

With a rib-tickling plot, great casting, amusing ooh-aah laugh track, marvelous comedic timing and an awards-worthy performance from Brynn Tyler who plays it apple cheeked sweet and delectably ditzy, this is Ryder’s big trip to the porn summit. Plus that film-look sure helps to sell the whole works.

Good sex farce also relies on misunderstanding and mistaken identity, and Ryder has loads of that to deliver. With a few more slamming doors and some antic characters with mental conditions, Ryder could have had a comedy on par with some of the best French bedroom classics. Which this effort certainly reminds you of.

But because it’s a parody of an existing TV show which has already been painted into the psyche with mellower hues, Ryder has a few built-in constraints. Such as it is, he does a fantastic job with those ground rules. Plus he must have gotten dibs on the white striped knee socks concession from the old American Basketball League. Watch to see what we mean.

Tyler, who plays the Chrissy character, gets a job to help pay the rent when Jack [Van Damage] loses his job. One suggestion is to enlist another roommate. But the Pong-playing, sexually repressed Mr. Roper [a solid job from Dino Bravo] is giving the trio – which includes a near lookalike Janet portrayal from Penny Flame – till dawn which makes it sound like an execution by firing squad.

Then Roper relents and makes it five days to cough up or face eviction. And Roper whose philosophy is “you can’t pay you can’t stay,” particularly wants the rent check because he and his wife [Nina Hartley] are going to an eye doctor in Tijuana.

Besides her ability to just remain confused, Chrissy, too, is an expert at making truly dumb analogies, and she figures that Jack losing his job somehow ties into her aunt Bertha having a car accident because she never saw the bus coming. A pretty slick piece of writing carries her absurd logic off when she tries to explain things to Jack.

Next Jack and Janet overhear her discussing her new job in the next room. And every phrase Chrissy utters lends suspicion that she’s working the streets and has a black pimp named Leroy. Actually, Chrissy’s selling memberships to a gym and is passing out flyers. Chrissy’s so stressed out, though, from the work she masturbates with some cavity stretching recreation. Cynics would argue she’d be better off fantasizing a rent check. Roper, hearing the buzz from the sex device, figures someone must have scored in electric football. Funny shit.

The story’s so well concocted and spread out, that everyone in the cast gets their little bit of business. Dressed in a demeaning leisure suit, Tommy Gunn is Larry the neighbor who’s always trying to pull something on Jack and vice versa.

When Jack’s beset by a hugely endowed female stalker named Lana [Sienna West] with an ass made for prison sex, he palms her off on Larry; but Larry in the mean time has arranged for a hooker [Jenny Hendrix] to come over, but gives her Jack’s name and address. Then the case of mistaken identity rears itself again when Hendrix is under the impression she’s doing Jack but is screwing the handyman Mr. Furley [Scott Lyons] who’s come to fix whatever with his toilet plunger.

Jack has also got the certifiable hots for Chrissy’s younger sister [Madison Scott] who is a miniature version of her down to the pigtails. Thinking she’s young and naïve, Jack offers her a Fresca but Scott prefers a double shot of Southern Comfort and wants to go back to the apartment and party in her red and yellow panties.

Scott’s friend from the bus station, Allyssa Hall, then shows up to make it an interesting threesome with a very quick introduction and lot of cock-in-mouth tradeoff. Janet’s lesbian friend [Roxy Jezel] later notes that the living room smells like sex- which is precisely what she’s been trying to talk Janet into.

“Oh Jack was probably just cooking fish,” Janet explains as they go down on the couch for the second catch of the day. And as reticent as Janet was earlier about the whole lesbian thing, she wears a strap-on like a pro.

But the wittiest moments in the show come when Chrissy, thinking she’s got a blister from doing all that walking, conveys her problem to Jim the Bartender [Ron Jeremy] who assumes what she’s talking about is an STD.

Jeremy sets her up with a doctor {James Bartholet] who’s actually some quack from down the street who hops into green smocks along with his buddy Eric Swiss. In tandem they work a phony gynecological scam and run it as smooth as an old Burlesque bit. Bartholet in kamikaze pilot glasses plays Dr. Mortimer and Swiss is Dr. Von Trapp. This bit is a howl and is almost like out of the Three Stooges. But with sex.

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