[From www.myrtlebeachonline.com]:

Question | I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for about two years. He works for a porn company. He isn’t a performer or anything, but he is invited to a lot of the parties and conventions with the porn stars and is surrounded by that kind of atmosphere. It’s not required of him to go, but he still does. In the beginning of the relationship I thought it was cool and exciting that he worked there, but I’ve come to realize that I am no longer comfortable with it. But I’m not able to separate whether it’s just me being insecure or he just isn’t ready for a serious relationship (meaning, give up the job for me).

– J.A.

Answer | You should most definitely insist that he quit. Hobnobbing with the likes of Elle Everest and Xena Zeppelin is not the path to relationship stability, for you or him.

On the other hand, it would be just plain rude for him to leave his employer high and dry, so make sure he gives them at least two weeks’ notice. In fact, it might be a nice gesture for him to provide a name or two as possible replacements. Let’s make that one name. So, do they offer a 401(k)?

But let’s say you’re not ready to demand he give up his job, because you are self-aware enough to know that part of the problem might be your own insecurity, as you suggested.

First, you need to understand something about men and sexually explicit material, including the soft-core, airbrushed Jessica Biel features in mags like Maxim and FHM: It doesn’t have anything to do with you. Unless a guy is so obsessed with porn that it’s affecting his everyday life (he sleeps with his laptop, say), he is perfectly able to separate two-dimensional, pneumatically enhanced images from the flesh-and-blood vision of wonderfulness that is you. No, really!

And even though your case is slightly different, in that your BF is rubbing, um, elbows with actual adult industry employees, rather than mere virtual ones, we still maintain that most guys can live up to one of the most important tenets in the relationship game – “Don’t ask, don’t tell.” No, wait, wrong tenet. We meant “Look, but don’t touch.”

So in a way it all comes down to you, and your own sensibilities. If the idea of your boyfriend being employed in the bosom of the adult film industry is bothersome, you might have to end things for your own peace of mind. But absent any outrageous behavior by BF – growing a thick ’70s-style mustache, for instance – we’d think twice about asking him to quit his job.

But if you do, you know where to find us!