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Porn Moves Not to Do in Real Life Include the Dick Slap, ATM, No Prep Anal and Deep Throat

Unfortunately for their female partners, many young men these days learn what to do in the bedroom by watching pornography. Let’s be clear about this right off the bat: Porn stars are not real people. What looks like a great idea on video may not translate well into a real-life sexual encounter with your girlfriend. There are some common porn moves you should never use in real life, and we’ve decided it’s time we let you know what they were — just in case you get any bright ideas later on tonight.

The Dick Slap
Male porn stars seem to have a compulsive need to slap their members against things. One possible explanation for the porn actor grabbing his shaft and banging it against a woman’s butt, breasts or face is that it helps him stay hard; essentially, acting as his own “fluffer” during the scene. Perhaps it could also be a method of degrading his partner by slapping her in the face with his powerful man member. No matter the reasoning behind it, this is a porn move you should never use in real life — at least not without due warning and the right partner. If you’re having trouble staying hard, give yourself a few strokes with your hand or, better yet, ask her to help you out with her mouth.

The Facial
In porn movies, the most important scene is the one that contains the “money shot.” The moviemakers know their viewers want to see the moment of orgasm, and they usually want to see it all over the woman’s back, butt, chest or face. First of all, you should never, ever ejaculate anywhere on your partner without giving her prior warning. Also, the average girl does not like ejaculate on her face — back, butt and breasts, fine. However, getting seminal fluid in the eye is not a good feeling, and it takes forever to get it out of her hair, so be considerate and make sure this is a porn move you never use in real life.

The Piledriver
The Piledriver is a sexual position named after a wrestling move, which should be your first clue that it a position best left to porn stars. The Piledriver is performed by the woman dropping herself headfirst off the edge of the bed/couch, then supporting herself on the ground on her neck and shoulders, with her feet up in the air. The man then stands over her and, pointing his penis down, enters her. This position cannot in any way, shape or form, be remotely comfortable for the woman and it’s probably not the best for you either. Not many men have penises that naturally bend that way, and one wrong thrust could result in some serious pain in a very sensitive area.

We have a few more porn moves you should never use in real life…

Deep Throat
Porn actors like to get their entire penises as far down the throats of their costars as they possibly can. The trend gained popularity with the ’60s classic Deep Throat, www.xxxdeepthroat.com

In that stellar piece of porn history the main female character discovered that her clitoris was at the back of her throat, making her a medical anomaly and the most enthusiastic fellatio performer in the world. Unfortunately, nonfictional women’s clitorises are where they should be, so deep-throating is not high on the list of things they love to do. If a deep-throat blow job is what you’re after, you must talk this over with your girl first. Shoving your d*ck unexpectedly down her throat will result in gagging and possibly a mess to clean up if she has a weak gag reflex. Porn starts often gag their partners on purpose, but it’s safe to say that doing that to most real women would get you cut off from any further pleasuring.

No-Prep Anal
In pornography, anal sex is not an unusual occurrence. In fact, it’s hard to find a video these days that doesn’t have at least one anal scene. Anal stimulation can be quite pleasurable, but the way porn stars do it is a porn move you should never use in real life. You can’t just spit on your c*ck and go straight in. Porn actors are able to do this because porn actresses have disturbingly stretched-out anal sphincters. It’s also pretty likely that lube is applied off-screen between shots. To begin anal sex with a real girl, plenty of lubrication, time and care is needed or else you’ll end up with one aggravated and sore sex partner.

A.T.M.
A.T.M., or “Ass To Mouth,” is a practice wherein a male porn star has anal sex with his partner and then, immediately after, puts his penis in her mouth. It should not be hard to understand why this shouldn’t happen in real life. Rimming is one thing, but even with thorough anal douching, there’s still stuff up there that she doesn’t want in her mouth.

leave it to the porn stars
Pornography is designed to tap into your sexual fantasies, but not all fantasies should be reenacted in real life. If your girl is exceptionally sexually adventurous, she may be up for some or all of the above porn star moves, but most women would prefer to avoid them altogether.

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