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Porn: Recreation or addiction?

Texas- Ron Jeremy, who has starred in 1,800 adult films, and Craig Gross, pastor and founder of the largest anti-pornography Web site on the internet, recently debated about pornography at Texas Tech’s Allen Theatre. I was one of many Tech students in attendance. The debate was a little disorganized because it was directed by student questions, which kept it personal and spontaneous, but made it difficult to grasp main points. I will discuss some of the points that seemed most important to me. (Biographies and debate information available at www.porndebate.com.)

One problem with Jeremy’s argument is he implied there is one right way to use porn. Jeremy seemed to describe the ideal use of porn as being a relationship aid. A couple could use it for arousal and for creative ideas. I doubt this is a common use of adult films.

Jeremy wisely drew a legal line that anything is OK between two consenting adults, and he heavily criticized “kiddie” porn, featuring children.

However, Jeremy’s points were mitigated by the fact he only spoke for mainstream porn and not the wide variety that can be found on the Internet. It was almost like he was saying his porn is OK, but maybe watching the other stuff is a bad idea.

Jeremy’s best argument was that sex is everywhere. He said at least the porn industry is up-front and not sneaking sexual innuendos into children’s movies. However, I see this as an expansion of the root problem, not a justification.

Gross did not believe porn could be a way to enhance relationships. From his observations, it is a substitute for real relationships, love and sex.

Gross said 76 percent of people watch porn alone. He described porn as creating unrealistic expectations about sex – expectations that are not normal nor are they healthy. He said he believes porn will not create intimacy in relationships, and he warned fantasizing about women in the movie will “make you dissatisfied with real women and real relationships.”

Gross has worked with many young men – and some women – who wanted to shake the control pornography had on their lives but couldn’t do it alone. It seemed Gross wanted people to be aware of negative results and deception in pornography. His work is not to eliminate the porn industry.

This debate gave me a chance to learn about a subject on which I was ignorant. I have since spoken with male friends about porn addictions. Many people are addicted, meaning they try to quit but are continually drawn back to it. This addiction is both mental and physical. What is the lure of porn? I received several consistent answers.

First, porn provided security. In a fantasy land, the hot girl will never reject you. Guys also enjoyed the control, because that girl would do whatever you want. The deception comes in when porn seems to be fulfilling a need.

Like most sins, pornography and sexual fantasies provide short-term pleasure and long-term disappointment.

“Porn desensitizes you,” Gross said. “It will never satisfy you and always leaves you wanting more.”

Maybe Jeremy was trying to say some amount or certain types of porn are OK – that there was a limit. Even the guideline, “Everything is okay between two consenting adults,” doesn’t deal with the issue of adultery.

Jesus said, “You have heard that it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.'” (Matthew 5:27-28.)

This isn’t saying a moment’s uncontrolled thought is evil, but choosing to focus and spend time on thoughts of lust is sinful, or at least harmful. When discussing issues like porn, I believe it is necessary to remember what we think affects who we are. Mind, body and actions can’t be separated. Pornography is not merely a fantasy world that will have no effect on real life.

Jeremy and Gross’s most important agreement was promoting education and open discussion like this debate. Gross has received some criticism from others in churches because he was talking about and working with a taboo subject. It’s blind and ineffective to believe that a good person wouldn’t struggle with pornography. Additionally, the problem is exacerbated if a community isn’t willing to acknowledge a problem and is not educated enough to help.

Whether motivated by religious convictions or simply considering consequences, it is important to continue speaking about pornography and other touchy subjects so we can make informed decisions.

Gross’s statistics can be found on his Web site, http://www.xxxchurch.com.

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