WWW- More answers to that ever-challenging spiritual question — “What would Jesus do?” — can now be added to the list: star in XXX porn films, run for governor of California, nurture further political ambitions and attend a $2,500-a-plate GOP dinner tomorrow at which President George W. Bush will speak.
According to The Washington Post, porn star, Christian and former gubernatorial challenger Mary Carey will be in attendance at Tuesday’s “President’s Dinner and Salute to Freedom,”along with her boss, porn producer Mark Kulkis, a self-described “Schwarzenegger Republican.”
In an interview with World Net Daily, a conservative news site, Carey said she thinks it will be an honor to meet Bush and hopes he’ll have some political pointers for her.
She also has her eye on one of the true studs of the Bush administration. According to AVN, a publication of the pornography industry, Carey said, “I’m especially looking forward to meeting [senior political adviser] Karl Rove. Smart men like him are so sexy. I know that he’s against gay marriage, but I think I can convince him that a little girl-on-girl action now and then isn’t so bad.”
Bush and Carey share many obvious similarities: a commitment to public service, a shrewd business sense, a pair of giant breasts and affection for “Turd Blossom.” (For those who actually have lives, that’s one of Bush’s nicknames for Rove.)
But World Net Daily revealed the most entertaining similarity between the two: a commitment to Christianity.
“I read the Bible and pray every night,” she said. “God reads my heart. I’m a good person. … I think I have more morals than the politicians in office.”
Carey further justifies her lifestyle by comparing it to the average female college student: “I probably have less sex with those guys than any college girl [typically has]. It doesn’t make me less moral.”
So can pornography and Christianity co-exist? At first look, it appears they cannot. Jesus said that one should pluck out the eye that causes sin. Hence I’m dictating this column to my helper monkey, Nigel.
But what about erotic material used by couples in the context of marriage? On this issue, one should consult The Marriage Bed (www.themarriagebed.com), a fascinating and entertaining site put together by Paul and Lori, an evangelical Christian couple, to promote “better marital sex lives with information that is scripturally sound and scientifically accurate.”
Porn seems to be one of their few genuinely gray areas. In their articles, Paul and Lori make it clear that erotic material can be dangerous, but it’s not clearly condemned in the Bible, and the inclusion of The Song of Songs in the Bible muddies the water. Accurately translated, they claim it “would be so sexual you could not broadcast it over the radio.”
So here’s my plan: The Bush administration should recruit Carey and Fulkis to begin producing tax-payer funded, Christian pornography. It would be categorized as a faith-based initiative included in the administration’s plans of promoting marriage. In 2002, Bush said, “Building and preserving families are not always possible — I recognize that — but they should always be our goal.”
How do you build families? By having sex! How do you preserve families? By having great sex! The Bible says, “Be fruitful and multiply.” Should the government, then, promote doing so? Absolutely!