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Rod Fontana Studying to be a Priest? Otto Bauer Was Kicked Out of the Priesthood

Porn Valley- A couple of months ago Rod Fontana was on KSEX announcing that he was retiring to study for the priesthood in the Episcopal Church. Later, the NY Times picked up on the story and interviewed Fontana. However discrepencies have since cropped into the Fontana story, such as allegations that he wasn’t studying for the priesthood at all and that the Episcopal Diocese of Los Angeles had not sanctioned any of his efforts to open a porn mission.

Whatever. In conversations with Otto Bauer, I learned that Otto had actually, genuinely been kicked out of the Episcopal priesthood. In a recent interview, he tells me what happened.

Otto, who showed me his priestly collar from days gone by, says he rankled some highers up with his unorthodox thought processes.

“I was a ne’er do well musician and not going too far in a musical lifestyle, he explains. “I was in a few bands- and some of those guys have gone on to do good things for themselves. Except I don’t want to sully them by association. They’re friends of mine.”

“I knew I needed to move on in my life,” he continues. “And I’ve always been a reader. I enjoy books more than television.”

And to give you an idea of how little he watches movies, Platoon was the last film Otto saw in a theater.

“I moved away mentally from that sort of thing as early as I could,” he explains. “I grew up in Texas. I moved somewhere else, not that there’s anything wrong with Texas. I own a home there, now. I love the place. I wanted to see some things. I was an Air Force brat as a litle kid before we settled down and I had some wanderlust.”

Subsequently Otto applied to colleges and universities and received a scholarship to NYU which he attended as an undergraduate. He studied philosophy.

“It was a hardcore analytic school, philosophy-wise,” he notes. “The philosophy department at NYU began to structure my way of thinking in terms of everyone has their opinions that they form throughout their childhood and their life. And then they come to a position in their life where they want to elucidate who they think they are. Of course there’s nothing worse than a college freshman when they come to elucidating who they think they are and all these things that they’re learning.

“Oh, shit, I just got all into the academy- if there was a paper assignment, I took the assignment like it was fucking really important. I guess I excelled at NYU and did very well. I graduated near the top of the class which is an accomplishment at that school. It’s a bit competitive. All things considered, I did well and wanted to continue.

Otto then double majored in NYU in classics. He finished his Masters degree and did a little bit of teaching. His foreign language as an undergraduate was Latin and Greek.

“By the way Greek class is not where you go and have anal sex with guys,” he says, just so that you’d know.

“So in the course of studying classics you really get a handle for the development of Western Civilization,” he continues. “That’s really what the course of study is all about. So I began to wonder why intellectual thoughts develop the way they have. I came to a way of life that was a study of the history of ideas. Now there’s a major offered in that- why do we think the way we think in this part of the country or that part of the world.”

“So I just became very caring about people in a good way and in a pastoral sense. So I hooked up with the Episcopalians who are as liberal as you can find in American religion. I asked myself what I could do to make a difference, so I went into theology. I went to an Episcopal seminary for awhile.

“When one goes to a specific religion’s seminary, you are getting that specific religion’s point of view. That frankly wasn’t good enough for me, and the bishop I was working with in the Episcopal church didn’t mind if I transferred to Vanderbilt Divinity school. It’s well reputed which I thought. I thought this is a university environment, it’s academia, this is where we can go and discuss things from a real life perspective.

“So it seems I made some observations that offended some faculty members,” he relates. “Try telling the local bishop that what Jesus was really saying was chill the fuck out, relax and have a good time. The religious establishment gets bent out of shape when you look at things logically. I totally embrace Jesus- he was saying chill out, don’t rip people off, pay your taxes, fuck your whores- he did- it’s not a bad thing. Calm the fuck down, everybody. People are sexual beings.

“Just look at the architecture of a church,” Otto says. “Your Catholic churches, your Lutheran churches, your churches that subscribe to the notion of sacrament- that no matter what you do you can come here on Sunday and you’re good and clean. Then look at your conservative, middle American churches, you go to any First Baptist church in damn near any town and I promise you it looks like a courthouse. Because that’s what they do in there. You go into that building and they judge you when it’s supposed to be all about Jesus forgiving people and everybody feeling good.”

“This country was founded on the notions of equality and fairness and that’s what Jesus was all about.”

According to Otto, his papers were considered heretical in some eyes. And one might suspect the fuck-your-whores part also didn’t go over real big.

“It just makes me mad that people in this country and around the world go into church and some guy’s going to have the nerve to tell them how fuckin’ lousy they are,” states Otto.

“It just contradicts so much. And in a nutshell, I lashed out at the establishment and suggested that people might actually do what Jesus said which is quit going to church and go over your buddy’s house on Sunday- and drink to Jesus. Raise a glass of wine and say here’s to you my friend! We’re hanging out in your memory the day after the Sabbath- which is a Saturday.”


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