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Ron Jeremy, Brooke Haven and Casey Parker at Fox Reality Channel’s 2008 Really Awards

[Filmstew.com] It may seem strange on the surface to correlate the term “post-modern” to something like the Fox Reality Channel’s 2008 Really Awards, airing tomorrow night at 10 p.m. ET. But the truth is, the dictionary definition of that term perfectly sums up the ever-expanding reality TV phenomenon and, more accurately, many an audience member’s view of it: ‘The contemporary movement of thought which rejects the possibility of objective knowledge and is therefore skeptical of truth, unity and progress.’

That was certainly my general feeling when, on behalf of FilmStew, I attended with my friend Janis the recent taping of the third annual awards show affair at the Avalon in Hollywood, hosted by Alonzo Bodden, a winner several years ago on NBC’s Last Comic Standing. Sitting off to the side of the main floor was Hugh Hefner and some of The Girls Next Door, pre-this week’s announcement of Hef’s break-up with Holly Madison and Kendra Wilkinson. Meanwhile, at another point in the evening, there was Kato Kaelin hamming it up against the backdrop of his pal O.J. about to be found guilty for some Sin City transgressions.

The line between adult entertainment and reality has been getting thinner and thinner, so it seemed only appropriate that also roaming around Avalon Hollywood was one Ron Jeremy, [pictured] whose prodigious penis was kept under wraps for appearances on The Surreal Life and The Surreal Life: Fame Game. And throughout the night, the oversized martini glass-like trophies were handed out by another pair of porn stars, Casey Parker and Brooke Haven. Their Fox Reality Channel program initially tackled the challenge of retraining adult film stars for the London theater stage, but in the case of My Bare Lady 2: Open for Business, premiering November 8th, the focus will be on MB and A.

When Evil Dick Donato, a bartender and winner of CBS’ Big Brother, took the stage, two buck naked women flanked him on either side, with one massaging his crotch. Though this moment will likely be edited out of Saturday night’s broadcast, it turned out to be one of the highlights of an otherwise tedious affair.

You know you’re in trouble when Apprentice ball-buster Omarosa is one of the classier ladies in attendance, or when America’s Got Talent MC Jerry Springer is anointed Best Host. In his acceptance speech, the former Cincinnati mayor and inspiration for a hit opera joked that many of the people in attendance at Avalon were offspring of guests on The Jerry Springer Show. Even though he had made a point of telling those guests not to procreate.

Like the Golden Globes, alcohol flowed freely at the tables around which folks were seated. But when The Two Corey’s star Corey Feldman and his girlfriend accepted an award, he joked that the giant martini glass was “a great trophy for people who don’t drink.”

One-time Happy Days star Erin Moran showed up to accept an award for simulating an orgasm on VH1’s Celebrity Fit Club and was seemingly either desperate for attention or in the tank. For example, when those two aforementioned ladies appeared naked on the stage, Moran quickly ran up and slapped each one of their bare bottoms.

“You can’t judge her,” insisted a young man seated next to me. But I beg to differ. As with most of the shows and individuals being honored, the Really’s tended to bring out the worst in human (awards show) behavior.

But of course, that brings us back to the word of the day, “post-modern.” The appeal of reality TV and, presumably, reality TV awards shows, is the prospect of watching people humiliate themselves on television. To Erin Moran, Kato Kaelin, Evil Dick Donato and the rest, I say, ‘Mission accomplished!’

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