Thanks and a tip of the hat to www.xxxporntalk.com for pointing this story out
Shelley Lubben posts on her MySpace page: Lexi [Sheena Lynn] left the porn industry in September, 2007, and shares her remarkable story of freedom from drugs, child sexual abuse, prostitution and the painful reality of porn.
Shelley Lubben: Lexi, what was childhood like growing up?
Lexi: My childhood was rough. My real mom died when I was 5 years old and my real father disappeared after I was born. I was adopted by my mom’s husband who remarried a woman who was abusive. I was raped the summer between my 3rd and 4th grade year by my friend’s dad. I cried because it hurt so badly because I was still a virgin. The man kept petting my face saying, “It’s okay, we’re special friends and nobody will understand so that’s why you can’t tell anyone”. A year later my step dad and his friends were getting drunk and one of his friends came into my room and molested me. This went on for about a month or two.
When I turned 12 years old I broke down emotionally and started cutting myself and turned to a life of drugs. In sixth grade my friends and I started huffing which is inhaling spray paint and gasoline fumes. I got introduced to Xanax and pain pills as well as alcohol. I was a full on drug addict by age 12.
I didn’t want anything to do with God. I was raised believing there was no such thing as God. But my cousin paid me ten dollars to go to church and I ended up having sex with the Pastor’s grandson. So much for God.
Shelley Lubben: How did you get into the porn industry?
Lexi: I started prostituting at age 15. I learned I could manipulate men into giving me things if I gave them sex. My step Dad didn’t care what I did so I use to hang out in the parking lots where guys would offer me money for sex.
I stripped in a club after my 16th birthday. I was failing in high school at the time but because I was a student aide I easily changed my grades and barely graduated.
When I turned 18 I stripped full time at a bar where drunk men slapped my butt, called me names, propositioned me for sex and treated me like a piece of meat. I hated men even more. Drugs were constantly available at the club and in the back room you always found drugs lined up for us on the table. Cocaine, pain pills and alcohol were my thing.
One night a man came into the club and offered me money to sleep with him and told me about his a career as a “filmmaker”. I told him there was no way I would do porn. He lied to me and told me it was just nude exotic modeling but he kept pushing me into more and more things. He talked me into taking pictures in sex acts with men. But he tricked me and filmed me instead and told me how hot I was and how good I looked having sex on film. He was Rico Suave. He talked me into making harder and harder videos even involving several male performers doing things I hadn’t even done in prostitution.
I had to turn everything off in order to do such painful sex acts. Whenever I felt I couldn’t handle the pain I told myself to shutup that this is just something I have to do to survive.
I prostituted even more because pornographers started introducing me to more people and I preferred prostitution because I hated making porn.
Shelley Lubben: What was it like to make a porn movie?
Lexi: I hated it from the beginning. I hated the atmosphere. I always felt so dirty. I could never take a long enough shower. I always felt so slimy, violated, and disgusting. The directors were nice to me at first but would get very mad, throw things, and scream a lot at me if I did something like clench my face or rear back because of the pain. Then they would yell at me and throw things. When one director saw me start to cry he would run his fingers through my hair and say it’s going to be okay. Just like my friends dad said when he raped me as a child.
Shelley Lubben: Were you exposed to drugs in the porn industry?
Lexi: Oh yes! It was everywhere. That was the only way I could perform was if I was messed up on drugs.
Shelley: How did you ever get out?
Lexi: God. Off and on throughout my teenage years I had gone to church but had never really made a commitment to God. I thought He didn’t care. Why should I? He didn’t want somebody like me. God didn’t work for me because I’m not like everybody else. I was too dirty for God. So I thought.
But looking back I knew God was protecting me.
When I was 19, in September 2007, a lady I went to church with before begged me and begged me to go to church with her to a revival service. So I went with her but I was strung out on pain pills. The entire time I was dying to get out of the church service. A lady preacher was there and for some reason I couldn’t stop listening. She would stop and look at me and say I was the righteousness of Christ. She’d say you’re a child of the most High God. A princess of the King of Kings.
She ended her sermon and started praying and suddenly looked at me and said to come to the front. I thought I would die. She prayed for me and all the sudden I felt sober and I realized everything going on around me. I was overwhelmed with emotions.
She invited me to a Bible study and I experienced so much love that I had never experienced in church before. It was so positive. The love was so amazing and felt so good.
After about three weeks I told my dirty truth to the associate Pastor who was so compassionate to me and loved me and led me to accept Jesus Christ into my life. The Lord set me free completely from drugs within one month. The associate Pastor also helped me in physical ways get away from the porn industry and kept her eye on me and still does! She is a true example of the love of Jesus Christ!
In November, the senior Pastor’s wife told me about a woman named Shelley Lubben who was on Daystar television who reminded her of me. So I got on Myspace and found Shelley and watched her entire video and bawled my eyes off. I cried and cried hearing her story. I sent Shelley a message and told her how much her story touched me. She responded to me and sent me a care package. I was so touched and cried again!
The bracelet Shelley gives me never leaves my wrist, a reminder to never cut my wrists or go down that old road again. The books she gave me I am using to do a Bible study with my friend. Shelley continues to reach out to me and even sends me Target cards which are such a help. I want to thank all of you who donated to Shelley because you helped make a difference in my life.
I now want to help Shelley tell the truth about the porn industry so that’s why I am sharing my story. I hope I can help other girls and especially tell men who view porn to PLEASE STOP viewing porn because they are supporting girls like me who are being destroyed. I have a long road to heal because of the porn industry.
But God pulled me out and changed me from being a crazy drugged out crack whore to a restored, mighty child of God! God is doing so many miracles in my life in such a quick time that it is blowing my mind. So far God gave me $150, took care of my rent, a car, healed me from drugs and gave me a great job which I love! I have a whole new life now!
Shelley: What about your family? Do they care?
Lexi: My family lives in the same town I do and they could care less about me. My step Mom recently grabbed me by the neck and yelled at me. I just left. I know she doesn’t understand what God has done for me and I decided to forgive her and anyone who has hurt me. God forgave me and so how can I not forgive others?
Shelley: What would you like to say to people who are viewing porn?
Lexi: Just stop. Please stop hurting women like me. Every time you view porn you destroy a woman. Most of the women who make porn are just like me. They don’t have parents who care, were sexually abused as little girls and are drug addicts trying to cope with the pain of porn. Please stop. I beg you. Please stop.
Shelley Lubben: Thank you so much Lexi for sharing your story. Your precious life is an amazing display of God’s power and love. You are living proof that God cares about people like us who are stuck in the porn industry and wants to pull them out and heal their lives.