Porn Valley- Skeeter was calling it the shoot from hell. Thursday he and Max Hardcore were going to combine their sense for atrocities and put something on camera to make the world take notice.

Skeeter also wanted to extend personal congratulations to Matt Zane for his AVN nominations.

“The suspension was spectacular,” says Skeeter. “If you thought you were the only one jacking off, you are fucking wrong. I was jacking off the entire time- fuck Bridgette Kerkove, Fuck Kelly Wells. Fuck all these girls who fuck on camera. I want to be Matt Zane and put hooks in my back and have Tera Wray the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen in porn hang on me while I play guitar. That is porn. That ain’t Gene Ross’ Great American Ass. That is porn.”

“And what’s with Frank Koretzky dumping money on Tom Byron and Matt Zane? I do follow the Internet and do a lot of studying. People are not screaming and crying we need the next Tom Byron scene, that we need to jack off to the next 40 year-old male. Fuck the big cracker dick. We’ve got to have the next Tom Byron scene or we’re going to commit suicide and not buy porn any more.

“I have no idea how he convinced Frank Koretzky with his ridiculous amount of money and Frank got so snowed. Jesus Christ I think Matt Zane got more nominations than me this year.”

Noting that AVN created an anal creampie category this year, Skeeter asks the question who before the year 2000 created the largest anal creampie ever.

“Hate it, love it, don’t matter, Skeeter Kerkove,” he answers. “Bridgette Kerkove in Gangbang Angels 5. There were 16 anal creampie cum shots in her ass. And she’s squeezed by the neck by her husband who is two of the loads and she’s forced to lick it off the ground while Alex Ladd says, ‘Nobody wants this! Nobody wants cum in the butthole! You put it on the boobs and the face!’

“I know, but I was just a little ahead of my time. Nothing exiting it’s just what I did. It was as I told you before, it was Evan Stone’s last gonzo at the time. He even announced it. This is the last gonzo I will ever do and I will only feature from now on. I did it for you and Bridgette, he said. He took a $300 paycheck and away he went.”

“I got two nominations this year,” Skeeter continues. “One is the Nicki Nievez solo scene with the baseball bat and the policeman flashlight for Most Outrageous Sex Scene. Which is kind of cool because it’s the only Outrageous sex scene that involves one person. So that’s kind of cool.”

Skeeter shot that scene for Robert Hill Releasing.

“Then I decided to push the limits which shouldn’t surprise you,” Skeeter continues. “No one’s ever talked about what I did- ever. I had twins French kiss each other, grab each others butts, finger each other’s pussies, do ass to other girls mouths and no one ever wrote about it in a review. It was Teen Anal POV 3 for Metro Badass Pictures. It was Bad Bob and the Cherish Twins.

“There’s even more that doesn’t show up on that edit because I was really in the mood that day,” Skeeter goes on to say. “I really worked it having these sisters French kiss and grab boobs and finger pussies. They really are twins. It’s not a porn lie. I know they’re ugly. I know they’re the ultimate drug addicts. I know. I didn’t care about that. I wanted to see how far I could take twin sisters. I did it.

“You know what Bill Diehl said? I can’t take pictures of this- you’re breaking the law. Is that hot? You know I’m rockin’ and rollin’ when Bill Diehl who used to be in my pocket refuses to shoot for me. He said I’m not going to jail for you! The one girl got mad at me: ‘I’m not suckin’ up any more dick out of my sister’s ass!’ It was so cool. But I knew I did it. I really crossed the line. I shot what I considered a true love story and I’ve shot many love stories.”

Skeeter who apparently did an interview with AVN this week recalled in that interview how Carly Milne who was with the mag at the time covered one of his first shoots.

“The teenage girls wore latex and PVC,” he recalls. “They smoked and they drank. They did regular enemas and they did milk enemas. They took beer bottles in the butt. They did fisting. They did everything and that was my first movie. But I never got credit for all of this enema-stuff that’s been going on the past two years. Mike Quasar was my cameraman then and I learned a lot from him my first two movies.

“What I was doing was living life vicariously through Metro money, giving them the most incredible projects they could get at one half the price that Eli Cross would charge them. So that’s what I did. I had girls in the bath tub taking enemas, squirting it out, triple-tiered butt plugs. Carly Milne covered it, and it turned out great. We had anal first-fucking. Vaginal fist-fucking. We had beer bottle fucking like there was no tomorrow. We had anal creampies. We had smoking. I want the girls to smoke because only a worthless pig, slut would smoke and put her lips over the filter of the cigarette- even if it’s not lit- who cares? I want the girl to be a whore.

“And we did it all and did it for ten grand- five scenes. Ten fucking grand. Don’t tell that to Bang Bros or Pink Visual. Nobody. That’s the way it was.”

“And you know what the rule was when I was on the top of my game- shoot it all in one day.”

At the same time, Skeeter can’t believe he didn’t get a nomination in the creampie category.

“In Anal Creampie POV with Sierra Sinn, we got three butt plugs going in her ass and an anal creampie POV- it was a spotlight pick,” he points out.

“While a 3A review got a nomination over that. How did that happen? But I did what I did with Sierra. She had three butt plugs in her butt. By the way, they were horsetail butt plugs. Not your regular buttplugs. And she had cum in her butt and she ate it.”

With his shoot scheduled at Casa Max for Thursday, Skeeter says he’s come up with a new niche.

“Girls are fucking girls using vegetables the entire time on the pussy, ass and the mouth,” he goes on to say. “And they hand rub jelly, cooking oil and whipped cream all over the body, in their hair and orifices during it. There is no movie like that. I’m going to do it at Max’s house and to have more drama, I’ll have Max interact: Skeeter and Max Go to Hell-The Ultimate Sin.

“I’m going to do some fucked up shit,” Skeeter adds. “We’re also going to have some ‘squirting’. And between you and me, if it goes out more than a quarter of an inch, it’s pissing. Then we’ll piss or squirt whatever you want to call it. We’re going to fist, slap, crack, tie, duct tape, hardboiled eggs going up the butt, squirted out and eaten by the other girl. Whatever it takes, we’re going to make it a new niche. We can do it. I really want to break some boundaries.

“And no one’s ever gotten Max and Skeeter in the same video. There is no more evil ever in porn than that. And Max and I are both going to jump in a little bit and jackpot around during a girl-girl scene. Vivid’s money couldn’t pay for this. Hustler’s money couldn’t pay for this. Nobody can make it happen. Max and I have to be in the mood to make it happen. And it doesn’t have to do with money. I think it’s going to be exciting. From a pornographer’s point of view I think it’s pretty cool- getting the two devils together.”