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Skeeter Kerkove: I’m Nuts and I’m Broke

Porn Valley- Skeeter Kerkove tells me he’s both nuts and broke. The first part I had suspicions about. The second part really comes as a shock.

“We all know, at least many people have agreed that I am truly mentally ill and in need of intervention,” says Skeeter.

“I go in and out of stages of dementia and there’s no way I can even stand trial and represent myself. These are people who have known me for many years and have given quotes.”

[Well, some people have given me quotes off the record that back up what Skeeter is saying.]

“If you want me to witness the fact publicly that you’re nuts, I’d be more than happy to,” I tell Skeeter.

“You know I told the judge that I suffer from mental illness,” states Skeeter referring to his lawsuit with Kevin Rubio.

“I have been hospitalized, which is true, for panic attacks. So I think the public needs to know that I’m in an extremely bad frame of mind and the dementia I’m suffering and the mental illness I’ve had for years has really taken a huge toll right now.”

What was perplexing about Skeeter’s revelations this week is that they come on the heels of a court date he had Monday over the Rubio lawsuit. Skeeter has always given indication that he’s had a strong lawsuit.

“I’ve given my opinions on it,” he says. “I’ve never given a statement of fact. Maybe my case isn’t strong. But everything I’ve told you about this rotten Ducati case is most definitely true.”

There will be no jury trial and Skeeter feels this is to his disadvantage.

“I have a lady judge who’s already been in secret behind the chambers with this mega, mega, mega lawyer company. You know how big these fuckers are, bro? Imagine me coming in cargo pants, my hair uncombed in a ponytail and a long sleeve shirt I found in the closet. And this lady’s telling me I do not have the right to a jury trial because I didn’t do my stuff in time.

“Yet, these motherfuckers are asking for an extension and I’m telling her I’m ready to go to trial right now, today. I was not given my legal 48 hour notice-warning.”

With what Skeeter is saying, I suggest the problem is with his attorney.

Then he drops this additional bombshell.

“I don’t have one,” he states matter-of-factly. “I don’t have any money left to hire an attorney. I’ve lost it all. I don’t even own a house any more.”

I’m telling him this is all news to me.

“I’m in the gutter- I’m panhandling for my next meal,” he continues. “The money is gone, the money is gone.”

“Did the Count Ducati tell you he wanted to settle?” I ask Skeeter.

“Yes,” replies Skeeter.

“Then why didn’t you accept?”

“Because I’m innocent,” says Skeeter.

“And you’re representing yourself?”

“Yes,” Skeeter says again.

“I thought you mentioned many times that you had a lawyer.”

“I used to have one,” says Skeeter. “But then I had to let him go.”

According to Skeeter, he released his lawyer from the case 60-80 days ago.

Since Skeeter elected to bring all this up at the eleventh hour, I asked him where the attorney came from who showed up at his house during the police visit a couple of weeks ago.

“That’s because I had a little bit of cash left over,” he explains. “It was only a small fee to pay him. It wasn’t to go to a trial.”

In the Ducati lawsuit, Kevin Rubio claims that he lost money with the movie Skeeter shot for him, Welcome to the Bunghole. According to Skeeter, Ducati would have had to sell 1,000 pieces to break even, but told him he sold 1400 out the door.

On his own state of affairs, Skeeter has to say: “What good is it to sue somebody if you can’t collect? Do you think Evil Angel has collected those millions of dollars they won? And they never will. I hope it felt good to spend the money. Heehaw. I just won. Well you just threw away a couple million dollars.

“Eric Everhard won a lawsuit. Oh what a bummer. He spent more than he won. Weee, I won David Joseph. Who the fuck cares? You didn’t even get back what you spent. What the fuck is that all about?

“Now Kevin Ducati, what a profile. God, do I need my own website. Oh God. Man, people go on my stories more than anything. Jenna Jameson is yesterday’s news. It’s Skeeter Kerkove coming at you live and Tera Patrick’s new tattoos on her right arm, prison style. Took about an influence.

“But here’s the deal. Everything’s so retarded and disgusting in this loser business. Almost everybody is a loser including my fucking self. Kevin Ducati in his deposition talks about being a professional motorcycle rider. Wee, whoopie do. For who and how much did you earn? He says he owned a Volkswagen parts repair shop. He started his own window cleaning business. Well, when you raped Vickie Richter [allegedly] you fucking scumbag, where did you live?

“You lived as a multiple roommate at a house in Laurel Canyon with rock n’ roll metal guys. That’s what you had to show for 20 years after getting out of the army. And why do you take so much penis in your wrecked ass? Because everyone was fucking you in the army, you little twink. How dare you try to molest me and put your hand on my leg and tell me that you want me to sodomize you.”

“Did he actually tell you that?” I ask Skeeter.

“He didn’t use the word sodomize. He called me the king of anal and sodomy. I knew what was going on. I’m not a fuckin total dummy.”

Skeeter then gets off to take a call from Barbara Olsen and I’m confused more now than ever.


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