PORN VALLEY, CA – In one of those rare instances where The Wanker Show goes to re-run, at least you can thank the God of archives that Steven St. Croix’s appearance on the show was chosen as a repeat. For reasons we can’t even remember, we missed it the first go-round but heard it was a hoot.

St. Croix made reference to something that happened in Phoenix with Wankus [Club Chameleon/Keri Windsor party] pretty much commenting what happens in Phoenix stays in Phoenix. St. Croix at the time had just returned from Europe on behalf of a huge promotion. “The Asian XP Games,” he said. “These Asian courtesans for thousands of years have been able to…they have the ancient skill of coo-chee which is being able to use their pussy muscles to do very athletic events for lack of a better word.” Up until now, St. Croix went on to say, no one’s been able to capture the intricacies of the art for its imminent danger, noting that some girls use chop sticks with their pussies to pick up food as well as blow guns to hit targets 30 feet away.

“It’s very dangerous for us to go and do what we did. We had to change the name of the girls to protect them. It’s crazy stuff. It’s like pussy Olympics meets Jackass.” St. Croix said it was filmed and put in a format for the entire world to see. “It’s adult entertainment and totally outrageous. It’s exploded beyond what we anticipated in the beginning.”

Wankus asked about an event which St. Croix described as involving the use of a blowgun with a pussy–a skill that’s handed down from mother to daughter, according to St. Croix. “They actually build their own blow darts. And they use their blowguns to blow the darts 30 or 40 feet. The accuracy is just amazing.” St. Croix said it’s become so popular in Europe that he’s been getting videotapes of women throughout the world that have skills in other capacities. “We had this one lady in Finland, 74 years old, who can start a chain saw with her pussy. It’s really opened up a whole new world.”

Asked if there was anything on the tape [which St. Croix hosts], that Wankus could actually jack off to. St. Croix said it all depended what he was into. “The thing that make this really different is that it’s pure adult entertainment. It’s something that you pop into the DVD player after a dinner party with your friends -men or women- you watch it and you laugh. It’s totally done for entertainment value.” Croix offered a plug to www.asianxpgames.com.

A discussion ensued about Max Hardcore tapes, particularly the series Max Factor. Wankus said he likes Max’s no bullshit approach. “We don’t have to deal with 40 minutes of position changing. We get to a couple of good shots and cum. At home I’m fast forwarding to the cum shots. I can get myself off in two minutes. I don’t need to wait 40 minutes. Just get to the cum shot.” St. Croix agreed. “Being talent I think a sex scene should last three minutes ’cause that’s what it lasts in real life. If we go 45 minutes and hour, we’re just giving a bunch of men a complex.” St. Croix agreed that Max is “a storm trooper of porn–he’s been there pretty much from the beginning. He’s been at the forefront. He’s the king.”

St. Croix said he had just finished up a movie for Vivid. “A funny thing happened on the set,” according to St. Croix. “I made Kurt Lockwood cry. I don’t know why.” St. Croix went on to explain. “We did this scene where this girl was supposed to tease me. We’re playing a director-producer team. And he got upset when the girl started blowing him and I’m telling her suck that cock. He just fuckin’ flipped.”

St. Croix explained further by saying he was telling the girl to look at him [St. Croix] while she was sucking Lockwood’s cock. “He’s [Kurt], like,there’s too much sausage at the party then he goes on his website and does his little daily diary and goes I was on a set with an actor I won’t name with a company I won’t name. This guy was saying homo shit.”

Asked if Lockwood was crying or just being whiny, St. Croix swears that Lockwood was crying. “When he came back his eyes were, like, red. Then he goes on his website and writes this shit and says that he’s gotten along with every other male actor out there and met his first jealous-hater-prick: jealous of him, and trying to steal his thunder. But I am the epitome of jealous-hater-prick, according to him.”

According to St. Croix, Lockwood was under the impression that St. Croix was trying to show him who “King Dick” was. St. Croix was also inclined to agree with Wankus that guys are essentially a life support system for a cock. St. Croix pointed out a new development fostered by the Impulse Network in which guys are showcased. “Many men are not comfortable with [it],” St. Croix continued. “There’s a market out there that we’re not aware of that women want to look at middle aged porn star men who are in bad shape.” Noting that boxcover shoots are featuring guy poses, Wankus thought the whole idea was pretty fucked up. “We’ll see how it goes,” St. Croix said.

Wankus said that Sean Michaels, whom he has a great deal of regard for, is doing a series called Ass Lickers in which girls are licking his ass. “I don’t want to jerk off to that. I can jerk off to him licking girls’ asses. That’s cool. But I don’t want to see a girl licking his ass.” St. Croix said as jaded as he may be with porn, when he rents it, it’s European stuff. “Like Rocco’s stuff or Cristophe Clark. Any of the stuff from Evil Angel.” St. Croix admitted that once he works with a girl, he can’t watch her. “I have to watch girls I’ve never worked with. And the European girls are fucking hot. There’s nothing better than a good-looking girl with low self-esteem just getting cum on their face. It’s great. It makes my day.”

Daisy [filling in for Michele Raven] was asked for her opinion on the subject. Daisy said she watched a gay porno DVD based on acclaim she was getting from another girl who said that it turned her on. It was St. Croix’s opinion that it was mental cruelty on the part of the girl who gave Daisy the DVD. “I would rather see two all-pro quarterbacks spit in each other’s mouths than watch two guys bang it out like two monkeys fucking a football. I don’t get that.” St. Croix wondered how they got to that low point in the conversation.

“Kurt Lockwood,” Wankus jokingly answered.