Standing in the small boutique of the Admiral Theatre, surrounded by an array of potions and lotions, rubber dicks and pocket pussies, it’s hard to imagine this building as anything other that it is today: a house of porn. But in its more than 60 years of existence, the Admiral has experimented with everything from cartoons to Jerry Springer in order to keep up with the always fickle adult entertainment industry. Decider investigates, on love's most notorious day.
The Admiral opened its doors as a vaudeville theater in 1927; around the same time the first “talkie” motion pictures were released. Not to be outdone by this new-fangled technology, the Admiral hosted a mix of live acts, films, and burlesque performances during its formative years. Staying hip in the Roaring Twenties was no easy task—and staying afloat during the Great Depression was even more difficult. Yet the Admiral weathered these turbulent times. Balaban And Katz (that Balaban family, which yielded frequent Christopher Guest collaborator Bob Balaban), a company that owned several Chicago theaters until the 1970s, purchased the Admiral in 1942.
As enticing as full-bodied women with tassels and feather boas were—especially during the pre-Playboy era—burlesque just couldn’t attract large enough audiences to sustain the theater.
In the late 1950s, the Admiral shut its doors and remained closed for more than a decade. But in 1969 it reopened as an all-cartoon theatre and charged a whopping 25 cents for admission. “It is weird thinking this place was all cartoons at some point,” says Hernan Alvarez, the current morning manager of the Admiral.
Perhaps the shrewd business brains behind this decision were hoping to corner the children’s market, but the all-cartoon Admiral didn’t last long.
Following the cartoon catastrophe, the Admiral reopened in 1971 as a porn theatre. It was the golden age of porn. Deep Throat, www.xxxdeepthroat.com made its Chicago debut at the Admiral in 1972; Behind The Green Door would be released the same year, and near the end of the decade, the beloved Debbie Does Dallas was introduced.
Joan Davy, who started selling popcorn and candy at the Admiral’s concession stand in 1975, has witnessed the transformation of the theater—and in some ways the entire porn industry—over the past 34 years. “In the '70s, and I think even into the '80s, we were the only gentlemen’s club around. It was a regular theater; it had 580 seats, and it offered two films with an intermission. We would try to have one big star, like Seka, do a performance a few times throughout the day. The pornography experience was still somewhat new, and everyone associated porn with a guy in a raincoat with a newspaper,” she says. “But, I was amazed at how everyone came in—doctors, lawyers, you know, every type of person.”
The all-adult format worked well for the Admiral and it gained a reputation during the 1970s. David Standish, Playboy’s first full-time party jokes editor, took a handful of trips to the theater in the early 1970s. “I don't know if popular is the right word, but it certainly was frequented,” he recalls. “It wasn't all that scruffy, but it was a place most people darted into and out of furtively.” Though the biggest mystery of the Admiral, for Standish at least, is the location. Even today the purple lights and valet service seems terribly out of place on Lawrence Ave. in the heart of Albany Park. “I mean, why not on the sleazier sections of Clark between the river and Chicago Avenue, or somewhere likelier?”
In 1990, the owners decided to overhaul the Admiral, getting rid of the movie screens, replacing the third-floor balcony with personal video booths, and expanding the lobby to include the adult boutique.
After the renovations Jerry Springer decided to film an episode of his show at the Admiral. “Three or four big tour buses brought the audience up from downtown. The set up for the episode was something like ‘I want to be a stripper.’ There was a lady from Vegas that [Springer] flew in to give lessons, and one guy did a dance that was hilarious,” Davy says. “At one point during the filming there was a glitch or something, so the crew ordered tons of pizza and fed everyone there. It was great.”
Today, the Egyptian motif and plush maroon and gold carpets lend an artificial classiness to the Admiral, which is hard to find in most strip joints. The video booths on the third floor are free of scum-caked tissues, and you can catch contemporary films such as Obama Is Nailin Palin and My Girlfriend’s Cock.
The live performances start around 7 p.m. and go through the night. “About 10 years ago we were open 24 hours,” says Alvarez. “Now we close at 6 a.m. and open back up at 8 a.m. which is pretty much 24 hours.”
So if you find yourself lonely and looking for some big-breasted love this Valentines Day, just make sure to get to the Admiral before sunrise.
