While Caligula may not be the worst movie ever made, the pungent aroma coming from your TV is not a dead mouse in your DVD player, either.

The first time I saw Caligula was in the movies and had no recollection of it. The woman I was seeing – Crazy Mary- liked dirty movies and so we went. Theaters in those days still had balconies, and in some secluded section of one, Mary, so turned on by togas, went to the forum on my Johnson.

Be advised, such covert practices hardly encourage the attention required for objective movie review. It was only when I got my hands on a DVD copy that I saw Caligula for the complete cinematic atrocity that it was.

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