Porn Valley- I was trying to reach Wildlife salesman Steve Volponi Tuesday night only to later find out that he was at the Vet. His dog Luigi had apparently ingested a couple of his wife’s tampons. “The dog’s going to be the death of me,” says Steve. “I had to give him a sedative last night. He was walking in circles and finally when the circle got wide enough he ran into a corner of the wall and just stood there. He’s not coherent at all. Obviously if you ingest a couple of tampons something’s going to be fucked up. But now I’ve got to watch him. Luigi is the apple of my eye. He’s also the twitch in my eye from the stress.” Steve then tells me how much he’s spent on the dog over its lifetime. “And he’s going to be the hole in my bank account,” Steve laughs. “The dog is exactly like me. Yeah, I’ve pulled a tampon out in my day with my teeth. He’s me in the form of an 8-pound Yorkshire terrier.”

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