Why Is The Adult Biz In The Shithouse? Take A Look At The XBIZ Red Carpet

I was thinking about something this morning as I was getting ready for the show.

When did the adult business start embracing such unglamorous talent?

Legs McNeil wrote a book called The Other Hollywood. That’s sort of how the industry likes to portray itself. Like we’re on the same level as Hollywood, but we go further and show explicit sex. We make films and have award shows, we have great actors. We do everything that Hollywood does except we cum on each other.

So we like to be known as The Other Hollywood, Blue Hollywood, whatever you wanna call it. That notion was explored in the movie Boogie Nights, where it showed how the industry was in the beginning. How we strived to make great films that rivaled Hollywood productions. Films that would be remembered and something someone would watch after they shot a load in their pants because they wanted to see how the movie ended.

We could never really equal Hollywood production values, but we did the best with what we had to work with. We took pride in the productions we did. We took pride in the acting in these movies and we took pride in the way people looked. That’s how it was for a long time in the business, even the award shows.

There was a time when the AVN Awards were really spectacular. They actually served gourmet food. They had a sumptuous buffet. When I won Best Director in 1998, the event was held at Caesar’s Palace. If you didn’t know any better, you would think that you had stumbled into the Golden Globes, minus a pie faced Diddy. It was exciting and you were proud to be able to attend. It was a thoroughly enjoyable experience.

The business itself was exciting. It really was. To cast your movie, to put the best actors in the best roles. You would get girls that usually wouldn’t appear in an X rated movie or girls that would do things they normally wouldn’t do because the movie was so damn good. Like Stephanie Swift did when she appeared in Miscreants, the movie I won Best Director for in 98. She was America’s porn sweetheart, appearing in a Rob Black Extreme movie.

People took pride in how they looked. Yeah, you had the scabs and the fatties and the freaks, but they were relegated to freak show porn like The Fat, The Bald and The Ugly, Life in the Fat Lane, movies put out by companies like Filmco and Bacchus. They were spectacles made for those who enjoyed freakish entertainment. They were made to fill shelf space. They were not part of the fabric of this business.

Pornography was actually something special. It really was. It was more than brand new girls getting fucked in their asses by Eurotrash and guys who looked like Spider from Goodfellas. It was something unique. Something special.

What I’ve noticed in the last few years is that the business has basically deteriorated. You have free porn, which was inevitable with the internet. Just like it was inevitable with the music business. But the music business hasn’t regressed. Yeah, you have people say, “The music business sucks now.” Bullshit. Did anyone see The Grammys Sunday night? The Macklemore number with the gay people getting married was brilliant. There were people crying in the audience. Are you gonna tell that Metallica playing “One” with pianist Lang Lang wasn’t awesome? You’re outta your fucking mind.

Now look at porn today. What happened to this fucking business? Back in my day, things that are now celebrated in the adult business would never have been included in the AVN Awards or anything that wasn’t part of a freak show. Fat people and girls covered in tattoos were not things that were celebrated and honored with major awards. The fact that our business has regressed to this is a fucking joke. It’s a fucking joke.

I don’t know how we got to this point. I din’t know how we took an industry that was supposed to be The Other Hollywood and turned it into a trash heap. That’s what it is now. That’s exactly what it is. And everybody wonders why it is in the shithouse.

It’s because there are no standards. There are absolutely no standards. It’s all a numbers game. It’s all about just making product. There are companies that are just clinging to life, because all they care about is putting out product.

Every other industry has evolved with the internet. I’ve heard people say you can’t compare our business to the music business because they get to tour. So does our industry, dummies. There are hundreds of strip clubs, fan shows like Exxxotica. There are hundreds of shows like the ones held at The Shrine Auditorium every week who you can set up autograph signings and personal appearances. Think about the clubs here in LA. We’re above a strip club and there’s not one porn star who appears at this club. Think about it. Open up the paper and see if there are any major porn stars headlining at these clubs. There are very few girls who do.

If everybody says that Bonnie Rotten is the hottest performer, the Performer of the Year, she’s the biggest thing, you would think she could call up any strip club in the Los Angeles area and say, “Hi. I’m Bonnie Rotten. I am the most popular porn star in the entire adult business. You need to book me at your club because I will draw hundreds of people.” Yeah. Bonnie Rotten’s not Daft Punk, motherfuckers. Sorry.

You say that the internet has destroyed the adult business? No. Talent has destroyed the adult business. Because nobody wants to see a tattooed freak like Bonnie Rotten. Sorry. Those types of girls have been around for years and you read about them in a magazine called Iron Horse and they’re sitting on a Harley Davidson. Or you see them in the audience at concerts in Sturges.

Think about it. The robot band Daft Punk performed at the Grammys and since yesterday everything associated with Daft Punk, from downloads to merchandising have gone up 300%. Yeah, in a free internet web world. Why is that everybody? Same thing. It’s free. Bonnie Rotten, after she won her award as the greatest thing in porn this year at the AVN show, you would think that the sales of Bonnie Rotten movies would be skyrocketing. You would think that Bonnie Rotten would be on worldwide tours. You would think she would have sell out crowds everywhere she appears because she’s the most popular porn star in the universe. Yeah. Popular my balls, you retards.

The Hollywood Show that David Bertolino from The Deep Throat Scandal organized blew a big wet fart. Nobody cared about an old troll like Amber Lynn, who looks like a tranny. Nobody cared about Kelly Nichols. Nobody cared about an old, ugly 70 year old porn girl. No new girls were there. Why? Because nobody gives a shit about them either! They look like shit.

Porn used to be about fantasy. It used to be about seeing a girl having sex that you could never have. Now you can look them up on the internet and have them sent to your dirty hotel room. They all look like bikers. Hell, you can go downstairs to the Star Gardens and see a girl as attractive as any of the girls who are in porn now.

Bikers don’t sell, idiots.

Look at mainstream models. Look at Hollywood actresses. Look at what sells. I don’t see too may tatted up biker chicks selling out fashion shows. Selling millions of dollars worth of tickets in a movie. I don’t see too many fat chicks making millions of dollars. Yeah, every couple of years you see a fat slob like Melissa McCarthy. Melissa McCarthy is the hot fatty in Hollywood. They put her in a movie with Sandra Bullock and the movie was a flop. She’s done with movies and Sandra Bullock is getting nominated for Academy Awards. You’re gonna tell me America likes fat fucks? America loves America’s Sweetheart Sandra Bullock. Last time I checked, Sandra Bullock was almost 50 years old, but looks like she’s 33, she’s not covered in tattoos and she’s not fat. I don’t know. You tell me. Or am I in another world? Am I in another stratosphere? I must be.

No, you’re all delusional. The people who run this business are clueless.

The business isn’t where it is because of the internet. It really isn’t. It’s because of the talent. It’s because of the productions. It’s because of the system. That’s why the business is where it is. The internet? Are you kidding me? I go on the internet and watch comedian after comedian on YouTube from Sarah Silverman on down who have internet shows that have 3, 4, 5000 views. Sarah Silverman’s making money. She doesn’t have a television show. People are watching stuff for free of Sarah Silverman.

This whole notion of free content killing the business is absurd. You know what kills the business? Ugly talent. Horrible movies. No creativity. Nothing inspiring. That is what kills our business. If you cleaned up our business and made it a little more exclusive, you would actually see the revenues start to come back. But as long as you let riff raff and garbage dominate because the name of the game is, “Oh, we need to do a cream pie movie,” you’re gonna have what you have. So whatever wretched slob is out there who will let 10 guys cum inside her and she squeezes it out is cool as long as she’ll do it for 600 bucks.

You have slobs like Kelly Shibari and April Flores and Karla Lane and we go, “Yay!” The rest of the world goes, “Really? That’s porn?” Fuckin Nina Hartley. “Hey guys! You wanna she me shuck shome cock?” No! Nobody wants to see their grandmother fucking. If they did, she wouldn’t have to have fundraisers to have cysts removed from her belly. She would have tons of money because everyone would be lining up to buy their Nina Hartley movies and merchandise.

Porn is supposed to be about visual stimulation. You look at something and go, “Oh God, that girl is so beautiful! Look, she’s got a dick in her mouth!” You don’t sit there and go, “Oh wow, that girl looks like a worker at Ralph’s. Wow! That girl looks like the mechanic at AAMCO. Wow! That girl looks like the 300 pound girl I went to school with who had a mustache and hairy arms and smelled like ham. Wow!”

Last time I checked, not too many Hollywood movies have biker broads in them. The ones who go out and get a bunch of tattoos, when they do a movie that shit is all covered up. From Megan Fox, who doesn’t really work anymore, to Angelina Jolie, they all cover it up.

You say, “Hollywood’s not an accurate image of real life.” Really? Hollywood makes movies that gross hundreds of millions of dollars with girls who aren’t tattooed from head to toe, who don’t have the sides of their heads shaved, their faces covered with piercings and mohawks. But you think that by doing it in the porn business, that’s what’s gonna make money. It doesn’t happen, idiots! You people are fucking delusional.

Back in my day, when business was good and money was flowing, the girls who were stars looked like women, they looked like Hollywood elite and they looked like girls who you wouldn’t expect to take dicks up their ass. If you look at the history of porn back when we were rolling in dough and having award shows that served food, we would never have had the motley crew of slags that we have roaming around the business today. We’re in the shit house because we don’t leave the wildebeests at home. All the internet has done is shine a light on all of the garbage.

Where in mainstream Hollywood is any of this acceptable? It’s not. So why the fuck do you think that it would sell in the porno world? Why? When you’re only moving 3-400 pieces out the door, don’t you think it might have something to do with the quality of the girls? The quality of the product? The quality of the movie? Or are you really just gonna blame it all on the internet?

Look at the pictures of most of the girls who attended the XBIZ Awards Friday night. Take those pictures and put out an ad for an autograph signing appearance. How many people do you think are gonna show up? I’ll tell you. Zero! If you take these girls and put them in the Shrine Auditorium and you happen to get people to walk by and they say it’s 20 dollars for an autograph, these people are gonna say,”Get the fuck outta here!”

And you people are gonna blame the internet? Piracy? You’re gonna blame free content when all you present in the new content is garbage? How do you come to that? Our business presents garbage and we blame the internet? Really?

Why do you not understand that our business is predicated on the same principles of any other business that deals in talent or entertainment? Our business doesn’t get it. And I don’t understand why. But yet we used to. The only thing I can think of is because of the leadership. The people who are controlling the business, pulling the strings. Right now, the leadership says we’re lazy, we’ve given up on everything and we’re just gonna burn this business right down to the ground. That’s all. That’s it. Because if they gave a shit, they wouldn’t be promoting who they are today.

This business could easily set up tours, appearances, photo opportunities, autograph signings, functions to showcase the talent in the business. But nobody does. You know why? Because nobody would come.

You people have the balls to blame the internet. “This business is shit because of the internet.” Really? You don’t think the business is shit because the talent is shit?

No other business that deals in talent runs like this. And our business used to not be run like this. The majority of the girls in the business used to be really fucking hot and beautiful. Then you had the other group that were the dregs of society. Now those dregs are winning major fucking awards.

Go look at Vivid back when they had ten or eleven contract girls. When Vivid had a billboard on fucking Sunset Boulevard. Take a look at girls like Nikki Tyler and Jenteal and Chasey Lain before she was a crackhead. Heather Hunter. Take a look at Heather Hunter compared to the black girls in the business today who are covered with tattoos from head to toe. Look at the old Vivid Girls. Look at that era of our business. Even more recently, look at Jill Kelly’s company when she had all the contract girls.

The business today is complete dogshit. And it ain’t because of the internet, assholes. It’s the talent, it’s the movies, it’s the way they’re marketed, it’s the fact that everybody gets off on ugly girls, fat girls. Never would fat girls have flown in my era of porn. It doesn’t sell. A fat girl who speaks at a college because a professor just wants to fuck a bunch of girls doesn’t classify them as a world class porn star that everybody wants to see get naked and fuck.

I know you guys don’t like when I talk this way. I’m supposed to say it with tact. I’m supposed to say it with couth. They say, “You’re on point with a lot of things and your ideas are very intelligent, but the way you say them, it makes people feel uncomfortable.” Fuck you, man. I say it the way real people can understand it. If you live in a world where harsh words are gonna offend your little virgin ears, then get out of the fucking porn business, assholes.

Every business is supposed to attract the best and brightest of their field. Whether it’s the tech business, construction or entertainment. I never heard of a successful business that says mediocrity is all right. Our business is sex appeal. And we’re giving our customers 300 pound women? Tattooed freak shows?

If you want to be successful, wouldn’t you want to have mass appeal for your product? Wouldn’t you want to have something that a majority of people want? Something that they can’t get in their own lives, so it’s special? No, we just want to appeal to a small group of people with tastes that aren’t what everyone else’s is. And we wonder why we’re not making money anymore.

Have you ever seen a 300 pound supermodel who is worth millions of dollars? Being on the cover of Sports Illustrated or getting lucrative endorsement deals? You don’t see that, do you? You know why? Because you’re not getting the biggest bang for your buck. It doesn’t get out to the masses because people don’t want to see it.

So why does our business feel that’s the way to go? Why? When you have an Hollywood movie, you don’t want the worst or ugliest actor in the world. Because after a couple of movies, the audience is gonna say, “You suck! You’re gone! We’re not gonna pay money to see you!”

When an industry has a product and people don’t buy the product, they change it and make it better. Or they get new product. If they don’t, they go out of business. Same thing in sports. If a player isn’t what the people want to see and his skills aren’t up to par, he’s replaced. If he’s not, tickets sales will go down because nobody will come to the game because they don’t win and if they don’t win, the people who put that player in the game are fired.

Yet, we blame the internet. You want to place blame? Look at the XBIZ red carpet.

Follow Rob Black on Twitter @RealRobBlack Email: rzblack@yahoo.com


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