Alabama [opednews]- Have you heard the one about the Southern politician who wants to arrest women for dildo possession?

Unfortunately, it’s not a joke, so there’s no punchline. There’s a real live attorney general in Alabama who actually wants to enforce the sex toy ban enacted by the fundamentalist-dominated state legislature a few years ago. Troy King is serious about this — he will bust your ass for a vibrator.

Sure, there are other states, especially in the South, that have some pretty ridiculous laws on the books. In Mississippi, for instance, it’s illegal — even for married couples! — to have oral sex. The law’s still on the books, presumably because none of the good-old-boy legislators there wants to become known as the guy who legalized blow jobs.

But Troy King is cut from a different cloth. AG King, widely known as a thin skinned, vindictive (that from the Alabama District Attorneys Association!) and spiteful little man and a “hateful punk,” believes that sex toys are immoral and that he should be concerned with arresting those who use them.

With all the real crime that takes place in Alabama — including a whole passel of shady dealings in politics, corruption, and graft, much of it involving King himself — Troy’s more concerned that the wimmen folk might let their lustful urges get out of control once they learn that “men” and “orgasms” don’t always have to be in the