How bad could Melody Morales' accent be?
The born-and-bred-in-New York City bikini babe sued Hawaiian Tropic Zone for rejecting her for a job because she was too "ghetto."
Oh, no, they di-int.
What did she do, say "Feb-yoo-erry?" Every CNN anchor except Anderson Cooper mispronounces it, too.
Managers at the Times Square restaurant don't even recall Morales "aksing" for the position.
"Several people a day come in and ask for a job," a Zone spokesman said.
Morales says it's her dream to teeter around on strapless stilettos and in a bikini while carrying a tray of Prickly Pear Mojitos.
One has to wonder why, since four beauties who used to work there have filed a $600 million federal suit claiming Hawaiian Tropic Zone is a "sexually hostile" place to work.
None of that was in evidence when we dined there Wednesday. Everyone was so much on their best behavior it felt like a trip to the Bunny Planet in Rosemary Wells' book "First Tomato."
The stunning young waitresses - excuse me, "table concierges" - went unharassed as they cantilevered about in bikinis barely covered by a teeny sarong "designed" by Nicole Miller.
They are impossibly buxom for how thin they are, a bit like the cheesecake lollipops on chef David Burke's menu. And they did linger a bit, chatting up the male customers in a G-rated version of a lap dance.
It was bizarro: One of the managers discussed the merits of Bob Dylan's oeuvre with a customer. "He can't sing," claimed the man. "He's a poet," she said.
Another customer fairly shouted, "Jessica Simpson is a big tub now! She's gotten so fat!"
The staffer demurred. They were classy reactions for a jiggle joint.
Morales, who says, "I look good in a bikini," may have a tough case.
Of 118 workers, there are 48 Hispanics, including 13 women. There are Russian and Croatian dancers on staff.
The Hawaiian Tropic Zone spokesman says it's not about Morales' self-admitted Latina accent, or her body.
"We try to 'look beyond looks.' We're looking for people with intelligence and poise."
Maybe because they know they're under the magnifying glass now, they put the Ph.D.s on staff - that is, not the girl on their Web site whose career goal is "ferenzics."
And only female managers were in evidence Wednesday.
Perhaps that's the answer.
If it's too tempting for male bosses to work among such pulchritude, keep it all female, like in Zsa Zsa Gabor's 1958 classic "Queen of Outer Space."
There's a reason they used to castrate the males who guarded harems.
