Porn News

Former AVN’er and Kick Ass P.R. Guy, Jef Hickey Going Back to Jail

Porn Valley- Neither I, nor the Grand Vizier, attended Erotica LA this past weekend. I’m just too wrapped up in finishing my book about the industry, and the Vizier gets action well beyond the porn chick level to even care about such things.

I’m telling the Vizier another reason why I don’t attend industry events any more is for the lack of colorful characters to write about. Everyone’s just too damn serious. I’m remembering guys like Johnny Toxic, Tom Zupko, Kid Vegas and Wanker Wang. And The Vizier imagines that Skeeter Kerkove might have been one of the last of the true originals.

“But he’s too played out- especially with him admitting he’s got mental problems,” says The Vizier. “His insanity has cast a pall upon his credibility.”

The Vizier then brings up Jef Hickey who was probably the Hemingway of guys over the edge. The Vizier tells me that Hickey, a very colorful writer in his own peculiar way, is going back to jail. Hickey used to be married to porn chick Tiffany Million, and I remember this hilarious piece he wrote about her farting and how he’d wipe her ass for her when she had a tit job because she couldn’t reach back and do it herself.

“Then he had this gorgeous girlfriend who was on TV,” the Vizier tells me bringing it up to date. “She was a TV star, but damned if I can remember her name. It was beyond a mismatch. Hickey is who he is and she’s an A-list ’10’.”

“Not only was she his girlfriend, but she stuck by Hickey through his whole colostomy drama,” laughs The Vizier.

“Hickey had some colon problems so they had to open him up. He wasn’t shitting for six months. He was shitting in a bag, and he’d tell stories about trying to have sex with the bag breaking. Beyond anything any girl would put up with, let alone a gem like this.”

“Of course Hickey, being Hickey, goes on a bender,” The Vizier continues. “He crashes his car into a light pole and gets a DUI. So this is a violation of his parole. The girl left him, and he’s being thrown back into the joint for eight months.”

“Looking for the silver lining, Hickey says he’s going to re-write his novel which he had written before in the joint but claims someone stole it in the federal pen where he previously served time.”

To get even more of an idea of who he is, Hickey, in February of 2005, paid a visit to KSEX. He was Kick Ass Pictures’ p.r. guy at the time. And that night Hickey was a guest of Kylie Ireland and her boyfriend Eli Cross.

“I would describe Jef as porn’s modern equivalent of Oscar Wilde only not gay,” said Cross, the word hyperbole apparently never crossing his mind in this colorful intro.

“In that Oscar Wilde was really famous in his circle,” continues Cross, “in his time as much for being a provocateur and a raconteur as he was as a writer.

“Yes, you wanted to read Oscar’s stuff but you also wanted to hang around Oscar because he was very entertaining and he knew entertaining people. And he had very interesting, funny things to say. And everybody wanted to be around Oscar. Jef is very much porn’s modern raconteur. He’s a guy you want to be around because he’s got great stories and he comes up with witty things and he’s also a brilliant writer.”

Hickey was asked where he came from. “What do you mean where did I come from?” grumbled Hickey, the obvious Oscar Wilde influence showing in his quick riposte. Hickey’s actually from Franklin, Massachusetts describing how the map of Massachusetts having the tiny arm, the town is in the armpit.

“I decided I needed to get out of there as quickly as possible.”

Hickey’s mentioning that he now owns a cat. Ireland observed that he didn’t seem like a cat person.

“I fuck with this cat but not in a cruel way,” explains Hickey. “He keeps coming back for more. You can push him and shove him and you can suffocate him.”

Hickey remembered watching Ireland on a Judge Judy episode.

“I was in a cloudy, heroin haze in college and seeing you on television.”

Ireland said she won a case against Sin City for breach of contract.

“That was the short version- basically because they’re idiots,” she said. “Mickey Blank was the chief idiot representing Sin City in that case. Ireland said she was going to settle it in small claims court to prove a point but that the show contacted her.

“They find their cases in the LA court system. So they saw mine. They said would you want to settle this on TV? Fuck yeah. I’m a p.r. whore. I’ll do anything.”

Cross said knowing Sin City, if they had to pay Ireland $5,000 in small claims, they would have declared bankruptcy rather than pay it.

Back in Hickey’s armpit days in Massachusetts, he said he didn’t want to have anything to do with school.

“I had nothing in common with anybody. I had my first tattoo when I was 14. I was a punk kid living in a classic rock school. They had moccasins and I had boots.”

Hickey would go to Motorhead and Twisted Sister concerts and wait backstage with his albums.

“But it was off limits, only the special people could go there,” he recalled. “Then one day I had to shit really bad. I had to take the biggest dump ever. I go in and sure enough I get yelled at by some guys, what are you doing here?”

Hickey was told if he helped unload a truck he could stay.

“A big light bulb went off in my head. I thought. it’s a deal. I stayed and I moved gear. That’s all she wrote. Fuck school. I was done. Every day I would skip school and go into Boston, take the train in. I would just load gear.”

According to Hickey, he started a life on the road. “Megadeath took me and I ended up in California.”

Hickey says he’s either hung out with, or toured with “every 80’s crappy metal band there was.”

Doing everything from loading to working as a stage hand, a runner and a production assistant, Hickey also got to work some big shows like Mariah Carey’s, Madonna’s and Whitney Houston’s as well. “I was the only white runner allowed for Whitney Houston.”

Cross also ventured the opinion that unless you’re Keith Richards it’s pretty safe to say that Hickey’s done more drugs than you. “But you’re clean now.” Hickey said three years. “It was a federal vacation.” Hickey said he’ll be monitored for five years.

Present situation excepted, Hickey observed that every time he’s seen Ireland, he’s always been high. Hickey recalled how he attended the last AVN show sober and it still sucked.

“It didn’t matter, high or sober it didn’t make any difference.”

Cross described the show as being equivalent to a 12-hour Oz fest.

“Only all bad. All night long.”

Ireland said she couldn’t get through a show sober. “They were so fucking long and so fucking boring.”

Truth of the matter, Hickey said he could never get tickets in the past.

“I would ask him [Paul Fishbein] for tickets and then he’d make this whole speech about how I actually would sell them.”

Cross remembered giving Hickey four tickets one year. “You showed up alone and I said where’s Chuck and you go, oh Dude, I lost ’em.”

That was also supposed to have been the year Hickey won something like $100,000 in Vegas. Except Hickey couldn’t remember winning it. Hickey also talked about his penchant for falling asleep with his eyes open.

“They called the paramedics thinking I was dead. The paramedics came and I was snoring when they entered the room because I passed out with my eyes open. Then I tried to fall asleep underneath the slot machines. Security doesn’t like that.”

Other than that, Hickey doesn’t remember much of anything else.

“I walked away from the machines- someone said I gave it away. I don’t remember any of it.”

Being on the road, Hickey said he’d be in the rut of looking for blow, going to titty bars, hanging out with strippers.

“Go do whatever. And just repeat over and over again. It was full on. I was tuning guitars on acid, screaming like am I in tune. I didn’t even know what I was doing. I have no idea where I’m at. Everyone was so fucked up it didn’t even matter. It was full on party mode. Everybody got naked. People were bleeding. There were guns pulled out. There were drugs everywhere. It was perfect.”

Then, according to Hickey, when he went to work for Queensryche, all the partying stopped dead in its tracks. Asked why that was, Hickey said, “They were a bunch of pussies. I was done. I quit. I got to slow down.” Then when he was in California a magazine called New Rave interviewed Pantera, another band he was working for, for its second issue.

“I kept in touch with the people from the magazine,” Hickey recalls. “I called them when I was coming back through with another band. But they said they were folding the mag. The mag was over. It was going bankrupt. The publisher had embezzled money.”

Hickey said he had the brilliant, stupid thought that he could save the magazine.

“I pitched them this huge, big thing,” he continued. “Then the tour that I was on, the owner Ami was afraid that he didn’t have a place for me to live. He wanted me to move to California but if the magazine folds, what do I do? But I always wanted to move to California. It was my dream. I wanted to do it. Here was my opportunity. So I sent them a piece of my hotel room every day. So I would build a replica hotel room in California and have a place to live. That was my theory. That cost a lot of money.”

Hickey said with every room he’d stay in, he’d steal a drawer or an eyepiece out of a door. “The top of a toilet’s missing. All sorts of stuff.”

Impressed by Hickey’s random acts of retardedness, the magazine hired him.

“I never edited a mag,” admitted Hickey. “Never edited anything like that. I had no clue about circulation. I knew nothing.”

Cross said Hickey should have gone to AVN.

“They took me eventually,” Hickey said, noting that he had to beg and plead to get a freelancing gig.

“I had to jump through hoops to get that job.” It was Cross’ suspicion that Hickey blew then-managing editor Mark Kulkis.

“I knew a couple of other freelancers who did- cause they were chicks,” said Cross. Hickey said Ellen Thompson was his confidante when he went over to AVN. “We always had dark and heavy stuff to discuss.”

But on the subject of New Rave, Hickey said he wanted to go balls-out on the magazine and make one that his son could jerk off to.

“It would be all rock, all drugs, all porn.” According to Hickey, his contract with the owner was that they would give him money for drugs.

“I had money for hookers. I had money for drugs. I had money for Vegas. They would give me this allowance every month. It was a great deal.”

According to Hickey his contract also called for cocaine and heroin and speed.

“I listed everything and how much it would be. And if you walked into my office and I was naked in my own puke, that’s the way it goes. And that happened all the time.”

Hickey found it weird, that suddenly he was in the porno circle. Hickey mentioned a time he called Jim Holliday, wanting to go to the XRCO, Holliday asking Hickey who he was.

“I said I’m the editor of New Rave. He let me in. It was on. Then I had sex with Lana Sands two weeks later. She doesn’t remember the first time, and I don’t remember the second time.”

Cross said he heard a story from Chris Mann who was the owner of the now-defunct Video Team that when Lana Sands was under contract, she disappeared for awhile and later found out she had gone to New York with Hickey.

“You guys are standing in an apartment together and you send her out one day to get cigarettes and tacos. And she comes back 72 hours later after going on a total fucking binge. And the first words out of your mouth are was it Taco Bell?”

According to Hickey, the better part of the story was that Sands disappeared for three days and came back with Taco Bell.

“That’s a responsible junkie,” Cross observed.

Hickey claims Sands got on a subway and started talking to some guy from Brooklyn.

“Next thing you know she’s in Brooklyn. Where she bought roller skates I have no idea. She came back three days later with Taco Bell.”

Ireland remembered a time Hickey interviewed her in 1996.

“He’s some strange guy asking me all these really bizarre questions. That’s what I liked about him- he wasn’t asking me the same old bullshit. Like how did you get into the business. Who’s your favorite guy to work with? He’s asking me what’s your favorite beer.”

Out of nowhere, Hickey volunteered the information that Mary Carey “farts like you would not believe”.

“A stinky fat bitch,” observes Hickey. “I’ll just tell the truth. She farts and she’s just a dirty, dirty gross woman. No problem taking a dump in front of you. She’ll wipe off and show you the tissue and see if you can see the Virgin Mary in the shit stains.”

Cross said he found that character trait charming but wouldn’t have ascribed it to Carey.

Asked what other porn chicks he’s banged, Hickey said it certainly wouldn’t be Carey. Besides Lana Sands, Hickey said he’s banged Christine Angel.

“Her and Debi Diamond together.”

Hickey said it was all a blur that with Diamond, she wouldn’t let him have sex with her at her house, that it was at a park at Van Nuys and Riverside.

“We had sex out there- that was her whole thing.” Hickey said the game plan was to go see Van Halen.

“Let’s drop acid, though,” was Hickey’s suggestion, which they apparently took up. “Before we went, we end up at The Rainbow. Before we get to The Rainbow she starts kicking in, mine starts kicking in. Next thing I know we’re down at the liquor store. She’s trying to put her makeup on with no clothes on.”

Hickey advises against listening to a Nine Inch Nails remix going over Laurel Canyon with Debi Diamond in a car.

“She’s taking off what clothes she had on left, sitting outside the window while we’re driving around the hills.”

Hickey then said something about setting Diamond’s car on fire.

“We’re sitting on the couch watching it burn as the fire trucks are coming.”

Hickey then quoted Diamond as saying something about popping the hood, taking the carburetor off and putting acid in the manifold, then turning it on. We do that and flames shoot out. Then we sat watching her truck burn.”

Hickey also said something about Holly Body still being in possession of his sweat pants.

“She’s mad because I was going to print shots of her from when she got arrested for prostitution. I was going to publish the shots and she came by the office and gave me a blowjob if I didn’t publish them. I said, okay. I didn’t publish them.”

Another time, Hickey fucked Cindi Cox in Tiffany Million’s bedroom when she wasn’t home. It was noted that Hickey was married to Million for 29 days. “Twenty-nine glorious days,” said Hickey.

Cross thought that Million reminded him a lot of his aunt.

“She looks like my aunt. She acted like my aunt. And my aunt’s name is Sandra [Million’s real first name]. It was all really creepy.”

Cross remembered a time Million was being interviewed. She noted that her favorite sex position was hands outstretched, palms out, check in hand.

“I’m going that’s my fucking aunt.”

Cross said his aunt was married to the president of some golf club company.

“Divorced him, got the house. Three years later re-marries the same stupid bastard, divorced him again six months later, got the fucking summer home. That was my aunt.”

Hickey said that Million’s thing was plastic surgery and money, but that he didn’t have any.

According to Million when she married Hickey she was in her Beavis and Butthead stage and he apparently supplied the fantasy.

“I was them.”

Hickey suspected that it was also the fact that he could score Metallica tickets. In Jenna Jameson’s book, says Hickey, Jameson is supposed to have said her worst experience and most disgusting moment in porn was when Million lactated on her.

Hickey said when he first met Million, he stuck his finger in her ass.

“That’s pretty much how it happened.”

Hickey asked her if that was her ass or pussy that he was in.

“She said if you think my pussy is really that tight we’re going to get along really well.”

Hickey had an eight-ball of coke in him and a glass of Jager and remembered telling Million that he couldn’t leave her to get more Jager because he had his hand in her shorts.

“It was true love ever since then.”

Hickey recalled how he jerked off on her legs later that evening, coked out of his head.

Cross said he would have dragged his dick through broken glass to jerk off in Debi Diamond’s shadow.

“She was a monster. Awesome.”

Hickey remembers her as having a heart of gold in that all of her money went to helping animals.

“She was just an amazing girl. A crazy fucking loon.”

Ireland remembers Diamond scaring her the first time they met.

“I was watching her have sex. They were doing it on a lawn chair. The lawn chair tips over. She bashes her head on the ground. She’s bleeding down her face. She gets up, “Fuck me!'”

Hickey said he wishes he could find Diammond. Cross said he heard the rumor that Diamond has kids and a house. [Diamond now lives in Hawaii.]

Among his porn conquests, Hickey also did Kaylin Nicole. Ireland said Nicole was a Lucky girl [Lucky Smith being an agent] and that Lucky girls hated her. Of the Lucky girls, Hickey voiced the opinion that Alexis DeVille was a dork.

Hickey was at the then-Bob’s Classy Lady one night and was commenting to Colin Malone in the bathroom that they should put a tray on DeVille’s head and serve drinks. Hickey said a guy who was pissing, turned round with tears in his eyes saying that it was his girlfriend they were talking about.

“He goes and tells her. And she storms in, ‘I’m not small! Just petite.’ ”

DeVille, according to Hickey, then threatened to call Lucky. It was also Ireland’s opinion that Lucky resembles Charles Manson.

“A fat Charles Manson.”

Asked how he wound up writing for AVN, Hickey said it was tantamount to begging.

“They said if you go on an assignment you can’t do any drugs. I went to Reno to see Metallica. It was my birthday.”

According to Hickey, Paul Fishbein told him to do a piece about a video store.

“I said, okay. I can make a retail piece good.”

Needless to say, Hickey got fucked up. When he got there, Hickey learned that some guy died in a porn theater and Hickey began sitting in all the seats trying to get the feel for the dead guy.

“They didn’t know what seat it was so I sat in every seat in the theater,” he continued. “Just so I could get the feeling. Some guy expired watching a porn in there. I wanted to say I sat in his seat.”

When it was suggested that it might have been a Kaylin Nicole movie, Ireland said the guy probably died of boredom.

The conversation got on to the extremities of porn, and Hickey said he wished he knew vomiting was going to be so popular.

“I have miles of footage of me vomiting all sorts of stuff.”

Consequently, Hickey discovered that peppers don’t dissolve very well. Black outs are another of his specialties where Hickey described how he’d have to go back the next day and retrace his steps to figure out where the pair of shoes came from.

“And I’d have bottles shoved in my ass and be told about it later.”

Hickey said he’d be horrified to find photos of him with a Jager bottle sticking out of his ass with a huge smile on his face.

With all that being said, Cross couldn’t figure out why Million ever left. Hickey recalled another time he was shooting heroin in the bathroom while Million was taking a shower.

“I stayed with Sandy one day longer than rehab.”


Related Posts

Google Cracks Down on Adult Site Ad Placement Through Partner Network

MOUNTAIN VIEW, Calif. — Google disabled on Tuesday its Programmable Search Engine (ProSE) marketing product from several adult sites, after an attention-grabbing report for an analytics company was sensationalized by two advertising industry trade publications. According to Google’s VP of Global…

TeamSkeet Announces New Series ‘GlowUpz’

TeamSkeet has announced the debut of its latest series, "GlowUpz."

Researchers, ECP Release 1st ‘Pornhub Creator Consultations Report’

MONTREAL — Internet and sex work researchers Maggie MacDonald and Val Webber released their first “Pornhub Creator Consultations Report” last week, probing issues such as banking access for sex workers, different types of platform discrimination, and advocacy. This report draws…

Live Cam Awards Announces 10th Edition Date

The Live Cam Awards, an annual event celebrating excellence in the live cam industry, has announced that its 10th edition will take place on Feb. 26, 2024.

Eric John, Asia Lee to Host Thanksgiving Livestream Tomorrow

LOS ANGELES — Asia Lee will host a "Thanksgiving stripper sex extravaganza" with Erotique Entertainment CEO Eric John, Sunday at 6 p.m. (EST)."Veteran camera pro Jake Jacobs will be on main camera duties to capture all the action, and several…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.