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Ghetto Stripper Steals Mary’s Louis Vuitton

Porn Valley- On KSEX last week Mary Carey told the story about how her mother jumped off the second story of an apartment building.

But that wasn’t all to the Carey musings. Carey talked about the new guy in her life whereas the old guy Harold seemed to be “useless” to her career. Carey then told a story about how after one dancing gig in Rhode Island Harold took her to some bachelor party.

“What are we doing here, Harold?” she asked him. Carey said the stripper who accompanied them didn’t feel comfortable, either. They wanted to go but couldn’t find Harold anywhere. Wankus, who was hosting this particular KSEX show, assumed Harold was banging a chick in another room

“We ran downstairs – I went to the valet and got my care keys,” continued Carey who tried calling Harold on his cell phone but he wasn’t picking up. Carey then went through Harold’s stuff and found $1600 in cash that belonged to her.

“Which he should have had on him,” said Carey. Wankus also assumed that Harold stole it from Carey who agreed that he did. Carey said she took the money out of the bag and then pee’d in it. Someone in the chat room asked if Carey didn’t piss and shit in Harold’s luggage before. According to Carey, Harold was then standing outside of the hotel room asking for his phone and wallet back.

“I should have broke the phone,” she said as an after-thought.

Carey then apparently wanted to go to New York from Rhode Island and told the stripper if she did that, Carey would fly her out to LA. But after Carey had sobered up, she said she took a look at the girl and realized she couldn’t have sex with her.

“She was 19 and totally ghetto.” Carey said she had the girl in first class with her and the girl talked ghetto the whole time on the trip.

“I never had food this good,” the girl kept saying.

Wankus thought that was hilarious since it was plane food. Then, according to Carey, Harold called on the cellphone crying. Carey then switched gears and began talking about a pregnant Tawny Roberts who called to say she was coming out to LA and let’s party. Carey had the stripper with her and Roberts came out to party.

Another person in the chatroom volunteered the fact that Carey apparently got her Louis Vuitton bag stolen.

“Random stripper and Tawny Roberts teamed up against me,” Carey yammered trying to explain the situation. “Me, Tawny and ghetto stripper are riding around in a town car all day.” Carey said she had an errand to run at Legend and get dermabrasions.

“They were coming around with me to places,” said Carey. “They want to go to the mall and buy matching outfits for all of us.” Wankus wondered who knocked Roberts up.

“This guy she really likes,” said Carey who went on to describe how the both Roberts and ghetto stripper got drunk and began turning on her. Carey said she got most of her info from the Russian limo driver who overheard them. Carey then called Roberts’ fiancee and described how Roberts was getting fucked up and partying.

“He got on a plane out here,” said Carey. “All I know is that Tawny went back to New York and ghetto stripper’s back in Rhode Island.” Carey said she told the ghetto stripper she certainly made the right choice by choosing a drunk porn star over her.

“She’s like I want to come back out to LA, I’m so sorry- I’m like you can come back to LA when you mail me my Louis Vuitton bag and my jeans. We’ll talk about it.” The moral of the story, according to Carey, is never get drunk and buy a stripper a plane ticket and bring her to your house.


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