I feel bad for Brad Armstrong and Jessica Drake.
We’ve been beating them up pretty bad recently. We had a story that went up earlier that we actually held onto for a few days, because I felt like we were just hammering them. www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=60365 It hasn’t been stuff that is made up, it is merely our observations on things that have been said in the press and their own silly antics. Like the Cosmopolitan article that talked about Brad’s former occupation as a costume designer for male strippers. www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=60355
On Friday, AVN and XBIZ ran two stories on our good friend Axel Braun. Not two versions of the same press release, but two different stories.
Let’s hit AVN’s story first:
“Axel Braun to Hold ‘Sleeping Beauty’ Casting Call Sunday”
“The first entry in the newly formed Wicked Fairy Tales imprint, Snow White XXX: An Axel Braun Parody, was released on DVD only two days ago, and it sold out its first replication run within 24 hours. Directed by four-consecutive-time AVN Director of the Year Axel Braun, the high-budget feature is a dark tale of betrayal, desire and malevolence based on the Brothers Grimm story.”
““I’m happy to see that the distributors and retailers are supporting our new line,” said Wicked’s Steve Orenstein. “This is Axel’s first movie for Wicked, and his foray into this new genre continues to show off his notorious attention to detail, which I’m sure will leave his fans wanting more.””
“Featuring an all-star cast headlined by Wicked’s own Jessica Drake in a career-defining turn as the Evil Queen, and Axel Braun Productions contract girl Riley Steele in the titular role, Snow White XXX: An Axel Braun Parody is a clear indication that the Fairy Tales genre fits adult moviemaking perfectly, so much that Braun is already working on a Sleeping Beauty parody—but don’t expect the director to deliver more of the same.”
““Snow White and Sleeping Beauty are very similar fairy tales,” said Braun. “To make Sleeping Beauty XXX: An Axel Braun Parody stand out as a different film, we decided to shift gears, tonally, and give it an extremely different feel, choosing to dispense with a standard, linear narrative in exchange for something much more atmospheric. The script is terrific, and once again we have some incredible costumes.””
Not made by Brad Armstrong.
“All we need now are the right actors to bring this to life.”
“So who’s gonna play Aurora? Maleficent? The three good fairies? With most of the roles still up for grabs, Braun has decided to hold an open casting call this Sunday at 5 p.m. at the Wicked Pictures headquarters in Canoga Park. All agents are encouraged to send their best talent, both male and female, to read with the director. Needless to say, strong acting skills are a must.”
“For more information, directions and/or script requests, email Julie Bowen at [email protected]”
“For domestic sales of Snow White XXX and other Wicked titles, contact Bonnie Kail at (800) 737-7838 or [email protected]. For international/cable sales, contact Steven Vlottes at (818) 349-3593 or [email protected]”
Ohhh, my poor Brad Armstrong. I’m telling ya, I feel fuckin bad.
Think about this, you guys. How long has Jessica Drake been at Wicked? At least 15 years. Right? Jessica Drake has been with Wicked for 15 years and in those 15 years she has been put in every movie by her husband Brad Armstrong. And for over 15 years Brad Armstrong has been The Golden Boy at Wicked. The Boss. He is The Master of making movies at Wicked Pictures. The Supreme Leader. Then ol’ Italian Stallion Axel Braun comes along and makes a movie with Jessica Drake in, and I quote, “a career-defining turn as the Evil Queen.”
For 15 years, Brad and Jessica have been making movies and making costumes for Wicked and for some strippers that Brad still hangs out with. Axel Braun comes along and in one fell swoop puts Jessica Drake in a career-defining role.
“You know Jessica Drake?”
“Yeah.”
You know all those movies she made for Wicked for the past 15 years?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, you can wipe your ass with them, because Axel Braun’s Snow White is career-defining.”
Wow. That’s just a “Fuck you, Brad Armstrong.” Hey, Brad, How’s that Aftermath movie going? I don’t think that’s too career-defining.
Brad, I’m so sorry. When I see these types of stories, I’m just like a great white shark being confronted by bleeding, wounded sea lions. And when my belly is full, I still eat more.
You got Steve Orenstein crowing about Axel’s movie and Jessica Drake in a career-defining role. You all know how I feel about Aftermath. www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=60347 There’s nothing career-defining in Aftermath. Career killing, maybe.
“Jessica. what movie are you doing next?”
“Aftermath.”
“What’s it about?”
“Uhh… Basically it’s about me being old and having a romance with a young boy.”
“Really? Is there any kung fu?”
“No.”
“Are there any nunchucks?”
“No.”
“Aliens?”
“No.”
“So what’s special about it?”
“NOTHING! I already did my special movie that’s career-defining. Now I gotta be in my husband’s piece of shit. He’s already on his way to getting kicked out of Wicked and my ass is probably gonna be right behind him. Unless I can get hooked up with Axel. Hmmm… I was with Evan Stone and that wasn’t getting me anywhere. I needed to get with a director and Jonathan Morgan’s just too goofy, so I hooked up with Brad.”
That’s the only thing I think of because Brad Armstrong isn’t doing anything career-defining. Think about this. Axel’s holding auditions on a Sunday. Steve Orenstein’s gonna open that office on a Sunday so The Italian Stallion can hold auditions. That’s called being a PLAYAAA!!! That is what is being a big shot. That’s called knowing your fucking role. Top dog at Wicked. C’mon guys. Don’t hate Axel Braun the player. Hate the porno game.
And that’s Brad Armstrong making 13 thousand dollar romance movies in Chatsworth with Alex Ladd and David Lord as your cameramen, in between them making Jordan Septo movies.
I told you guys, I see this type of shit and it’s like blood in the water, it’s like chum.
So hail Axel Braun and Steve Orenstein for having Wicked Fairy Tales and more importantly, after 15 years and being in the the Wicked family and making 30-40 different movies, let’s hear it for them for finally putting Jessica Drake in a career-defining movie. Because without Axel Braun, Jessica Drake would just be known for Brad Armstrong shitfests like Aftermath.
Career-defining. Man, that’s classic.
So that’s the AVN press release. Career-defining and let’s not forget selling out its first replication run in 24 hours. When’s the last time Brad Armstrong sold anything out? Forget 24 hours, when’s the last time Brad Armstrong sold out anything? I’m waiting….
Snow White sells out in 24 hours. You’re gonna see Aftermath in flea markets or in DVD blowout bins for $4.95.
Poor Brad and Jessica. Well, really not poor Jessica. She’s in career-defining movies. You just feel bad because her life’s blood is making the filler movies that Wicked needs to supply certain overseas markets and Manwin internet properties. As long as they don’t spend too much money on those snorefests, Brad can ride out the remainder of his 2014 deal, so when they get rid of him in 2015, everything’s a clean slate. www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=60359 If you don’t think Brad Armstrong’s getting booted, I’ve got a bridge to sell you that Chris Christie shut down a few months ago.
After the press release of Snow White selling out in 24 hours and Jessica Drake’s career-defining role, you click over to XBIZ and there is an entirely new article that is quite fascinating.
“Jessica Drake, Axel Braun Discuss ‘Snow White XXX’”
So AVN is talking about selling Snow White in 24 hours, Jessica Drake in a career-defining role and having a casting call at 5 pm on a Sunday at the Wicked building so the great Axel Braun can hold auditions for Sleeping Beauty. That’s AVN. Then when you go to XBIZ, Axel and Jessica are talking about Snow White:
“Wicked Girl jessica drake can act with the best in the business, but she said her most recent turn presented unique challenges.”
“She played the Evil Queen in “Snow White XXX,” the first movie from Wicked Pictures’ new Fairy Tales imprint helmed by director Axel Braun. And the role was anything but ordinary.”
““I’ve done dramatic and I’ve done romantic, but this role was different,” drake said. “When Axel first told me he wanted to do it, I was like, ‘I have no idea how I’m going to get into this character.’””
“Drake told XBIZ that she was familiar with the narrative of the classic tale, but Braun wanted her to become “even more evil” in his version.”
“The movie, which hit the street this week, also marked the first time drake has ever shared the screen with Riley Steele, the Axel Braun Productions contract star who played the title character.”
“She said that she hardly knew Steele before going to set, but that they made that work in their favor. Before one of the pivotal scenes, drake said she assured Steele that, “‘I’m not a bitch. I’m just being my character. And if I’m too mean to you don’t take it personally.’””
““I think Riley did a great job and that brown hair really suited her,” drake added.
Braun, the 2014 XBIZ Director of the Year who signed a two-year contract with Wicked in November, called the drake-Steele dynamic “very intense.””
““They both embraced their roles completely and they had tremendous chemistry,” Braun told XBIZ. “Jessica, a notoriously sweet girl, unleashed such an incredible amount of evil that the whole crew was totally intimidated.””
“He said that both women “stayed in character throughout the shoot, which was really impressive.””
“Drake revealed that Braun kept telling her to “raise my eyebrows in a menacing fashion” during the shoot.” ““That was his favorite thing to tell me, was the eyebrows,” drake joked. “I’m sure if we wanted to, we could find an entire reel of eyebrow raising.””
“Braun opted to follow the original Brothers’ Grimm version of the story, “which is very dark, while incorporating elements from the classic iconography.””
““I used a darker, oversaturated color palette, and very dramatic lighting,” he said. “The ‘pornification’ was the easy part…fairy tales are quite possibly responsible for most people’s first sexual fantasies. So all I had to do was tap back into my own memories.””
“Even though both drake and Braun have been on hundreds of porn sets, the Wicked star had never been directed by the seasoned shot-caller until “Snow White XXX.””
The seasoned and GREATEST director in porn today.
““I didn’t really know what to expect. I had heard a lot of different things from a lot of different people,” drake said. “I think he did great, especially for his first movie for Wicked. There’s a lot of stress and pressure that comes with that. Sometimes he wasn’t really directing me all that much and was just letting me do my thing. I was kind of worried about that because I prefer when people really push me and tell me what to do and give me concise direction. But I think he finally got to the point where he trusted me with what I was doing.””
“She continued, “It was fun to watch him work. He’s really established a rep as the king of parodies. So it was cool to see that in motion and understand how he works a little better.””
Considering I will be working for him all the time when they throw my husband out.
“She said Braun’s on-set demeanor is “calm and easygoing for the most part.””
““He is specific with what he wants and on point with some of the smaller details. He would walk through a shot while all the cameras were rolling to fix something that was bothering him and I can respect that,” drake added.”
My husband Brad would never do that because he is a half director.
“Not only did she do a lot of acting in “Snow White XXX,” drake also did lots of fucking in three separate sex scenes with Barrett Blade, Eric Masterson and of course, Steele.”
I guess Wicked, err I mean Manwin is trying to get their money out of this old fuck. Manwin’s like, “Jessica owes us like 30 scenes, how are we ever gonna get our money back?” Steve Orenstein says, “ Uh, I dunno guys. Those checks are already cashed.” Manwin’s like, “Jesus Christ, every movie we do we’re gonna have to put her in three or four scenes.” So what do they do? Put her in three scenes for Snow White.
“Oh my Gahd. How many scenes do I have to do?”
“Three bitch.”
“Oh my Gahd… I don’t want to do three scenes.”
“Sorry Jessica, but you owe us like 175 thousand dollars. You need to do 50 scenes in this movie. But three will suffice right now.”
“Oh my Gahd. OK just be careful with my pussy…”
She goes on:
““I enjoyed playing that role. It’s such an iconic, established character that everybody knows. So that was fun to do,” drake said.”
“She’ll continue her promotion of “Snow White XXX” in two feature dancing appearances at the Stiletto Adult Club (http://www.stilettoadultclubs.com/) locations in Nanuet, N.Y., and Carlstadt, N.J. this weekend. Drake has two shows tonight at Stiletto Nanuet and another two Saturday at Stiletto Carlstadt.”
“Meanwhile, Braun, who in recent years has specialized in creating award-winning superhero parodies, said the idea to do Wicked Fairy Tales came down to diversifying his repertoire.”
““I just wanted to broaden my spectrum, try different ways of storytelling,” he said. “Fairy Tales allow for a different approach, even though I’m still going to shoot superhero parodies. As far as projects in development, I have plenty of them…but I am not really at liberty to divulge them at the moment. Very exciting stuff, I can tell you that much.””
And one of those project involves Tom Byron. But we’re not gonna talk about that, because I promised the great Axel Braun mum’s the word.
So there you go. Two press releases with interviews and everything from Jessica Drake, Axel Braun, Steve Orenstein. I mean, Axel Braun is King Shit at Wicked and Brad Armstrong is King Shit Stain. Do we really have to debate this anymore? Do we really have to debate that Brad Armstrong is out and the great Axel Braun is in? Seriously, no bullshit. Do we really have to keep this charade up?
Like when I talk to Axel. “You know you’re ten times better than Brad.” And he goes, “Oh no. Me and Brad, we are both great directors.” And I go, “Axel, why are you bullshitting me? It’s me you’re talking to. Do you really have to buy into that? Do you have to say that so when you’re in the Wicked offices you don’t slip up?”
Like when Axel says (with an Italian accent)
“Why do we give Brad Armstrong any movies? He’s shit!”
And they’re like, “Axel! He’s one of your fellow employees…”
“Fuck him! He can eat my shit!”
“Whoa, Axel…”
“You don’t understand. He’s nothing more than amateur. I am Axel Braun. I make his Aftermath movie and I am not even there. I sit in my trailer and watch football, which in your country you call soccer. I sit and watch football and my great cameraman Bryn Pryor, he make Aftermath.”
“And Bryn comes in and says, ‘Axel, I’m done with this fucking movie.’ And I say to Bryn, don’t be like that, silly boy. Come here and I rub your nipple. Sit and talk to me.”
‘Well, Axel, I do these things and I get no credit and you know I’m the driving force…’
“I give you credit. I say Bryn Pryor is part of my team…”
‘Axel, I’m more than part of your team…’
“Bryn, shut the fuck up. I go from Vivid being the king and to Wicked and I’m the king and I take you with me. You should be happy you have a job. You could be like David Lord making tranny movies for Rodney Moore. So shut the fuck up, OK? Go finish making the Aftermath movie, I want to watch more of my football.”
Then Bryn goes and finishes Aftermath and Axel goes to Steve Orenstein and says:
“Steve, I finish Aftermath.”
Steve goes, “Wow, you did it faster and better than Brad ever could have.”
“Of course! I do better, faster, cheaper. And I soup up the script. At the end, Brad has the woman and the boy and the triangle. Fuck that! I make the Ford Mustang, it grows tentacles and kills everybody in the garage, except the pretty Tyler Nixon. Tyler Nixon gets into the car and it fly away into the sky, with rocking music. It fly away into the sky.”
“Wow, Axel. That’s amazing.”
“Of course, it’s amazing. Brad Armstrong was a shit. I wipe my ass with that a shit. I spruce it up, I make it a beautiful. Now when is our next budget coming in because I need a new Bentley.”
“But Axel, you’ve already got two Bentleys…”
“I need another Bentley! So shut up! I’m only dealing with you because I have to. So be a good boy. Don’t make me go over your head and talk to the Manwin people. Don’t push me, silly boy…”
Then Axel leaves and all is well in the Wicked/Manwin/Braun kingdom.
The End.
That, my friends, is a Wicked Fairy Tale.
Follow Rob Black on Twitter @RealRobBlack Email: [email protected]