Porn Valley- The chances of being a Slain Wayne, www.slainwayne.com girlfriend is like picking a number to stand in line at the Ralph’s deli counter. Be patient and you’ll get your turn sooner or later with the mayo.

Wayne’s latest squeeze of a couple of weeks, Kitty, filled in as co-ho on KSEX, www.ksexradio.com Wednesday night. Kitty said she started in the industry about a year ago but describes herself still as a “baby”.

“I’ve done a few, small Internet-things. Mostly Internet.” Kitty said she was working on a few “creative projects” with Wayne [as you can well imagine]. Kitty also strips in the L.A. area and appears currently at Valley Ball in Van Nuys Sepulveda and Roscoe. “I’ve been there for about a week. The girls are sweet and very hot and friendly. It’s fully nude.” Kitty said her mother was a feminist and encouraged her to be proud of her body.

“I’m proud of my pussy,” Kitty declared. Wankus asked about the customers wondering if she had any weird experiences. Kitty said someone grabbed her tits on her first day there. Asked if the bouncers beat the fuck out of the guy, Kitty said unfortunately no but believed that bouncers should be allowed to live up to their names and knock a guy around if he’s causing shit.

Kitty said in Arizona, where he’s from, bouncers are now referred to as floor men. “They can’t touch people at all. They escort them out.” Wankus noted that a club in L.A. named 4 Play maintains a backroom area, where customers who get out of line, are escorted and disassembled. Wankus told another story about the place where a friend of his did a private session with some “towel head” in the VIP room.

“She does this private dance and he runs up a bill of $600,” said Wankus. “So he goes to the ATM and his card won’t work. He tries another one, it doesn’t work. He says, I’ve been using this ATM all day and it probably has a limit on it. It’s really fucked up so I’ll come back in and pay you tomorrow.”

According to Wankus, because because this guy’s been there before, the club takes his cellphone as a security deposit. The speculation was whether the guy would come back. Instead, he reported the phone stolen.

“But what he didn’t know is when they took his license they made a copy of it,” Wankus added. “Armed with that information, Wankus said his stripper friend bought an onlime membership and for $8 acquired all kinds of sensitive information about the guy. “She found everything- credit reports.”

It was discovered that the guy lived with his “rag head” parents in Pacific Palisades. When he was contacted, he hung up the phone. The next time the mother picked up and she was told the whole story. “The mother did the whole not my son. He’d never go to that club.” When the father got on the line he asked what the $600 was for and was told private dances. “He bought lap dances!?” According to Wankus, the parents squared up the bill the next day but he could only imagine the conversation that ensued in that rich household about crackwhores.

With strip club anecdotes flying at this point, Kitty remembered a time when a guy bit her ass.

“I wasn’t even dancing for him. I was standing there getting a drink of water. He was really wasted.” As the guy bit her ass, Kitty threw the water in his face. “Then I used the glass as a six pack and just popped him in the face.”

Wankus recalled an instance where Devon Michaels got her name in the news when a customer bit her tit.

“She knows the biting thing.” Wankus said he’ll observe good strip club etiquette. “I’ll sit with my legs on my hands.” Wankus said when he was in Tampa he was bought a lap dance and kept his hands to his side. The dancer asked why he wasn’t touching her then urged him to grab her tits and ass. “I’m not used to that.”

Kitty said some clubs allow that and mentioned the time she worked at a club in Scottsdale, Arizona, The Dream Palace, where customers were allowed to touch.

“I got in trouble once,” she says. “The guy didn’t tip me all that much. I was, like, fuck him. I’m not going to let him touch me.” Kitty was then advised that she had to give a good show no matter what.

“I’m outta here. I’m not going to let anybody feel me up for $40.” In another instance, Kitty remembered the time when she did domination-style work in a strip club and a guy shot a load in his pants. Another time a guy paid her $100 to hock a loogie in his mouth. “That was the easiest $100 bucks I ever made and he loved it. There are some freaks out there.”

On the other hand, Kitty said some of her best friends started out as customers in clubs. “Then we became fuck buddies or pals, whatever.” Asked if she was generally treated well in those instances, Kitty said if she was horny, who cares. “I don’t care if they have respect for me. I don’t have respect for you.” But depending on the circumstances, she’d assess whether she could get along with the person and judge the situation, accordingly.

Kitty said guys have the advantage in strip club scenarios. “At least you know what you’re getting. You know that you’re not going to take this girl home and find some freaky ass scars and godawful cellulite.” Another advantage of a full nude bar, said Wankus, is that you’re not going to find a herpes outbreak. “God knows I don’t wan to wake up looking like Danny Partridge on my face after going down on that shit all night.”

Kitty went on to describe the tie that binds her with Slain Wayne.

“We’re both comic book geeks and I’ve been writing some stuff for him, too.” Kitty said she’s also been posting news stories on Wayne’s website. Kitty said she’s also looking forward to writing porn screenplays. Wankus suggested that Kitty might look into re-writing some of the quotes Wayne puts out there whenever his name gets in the news. “Damn, you really didn’t want to say that dude!” Wankus laughed.

Kitty said she’s been looking at some of the other gossip sites and figures she ought to hire herself out as a proof reader. Wankus said there was a few good sites out there so he wasn’t inclined to start bashing. Kitty, who stated that she’s all about debauchery, is also working on content for her site which she hopes to have up in a month or so. It’ll be kittyvicious.com when it’s ready to go.

Kitty said she was both into guys and girls. Given the inevitable stuck on a desert isle question from Wankus, Kitty said she’d prefer cocks with her cocoanuts. “I love women. Women are fucking sexy and gorgeous. They’re curvy and soft.” But Kitty also pointed out that fingers don’t equate to cocks in the final analysis.

As you might expect, it was inevitable that Kitty would be sucked into the vortex that is the Slain Wayne controversy involving Max Blacc and Naudia Rio. Wankus gave the version that he had seen in the “industry trades” in which Blacc and Rio engaged in spontaneous oral combustion.

“She was blowing him and being the pornographer that he [Wayne] is, Slain Wayne grabbed the camera,” Wankus elated. “But it turned out later somebody realized, hey, wait a second, dude, you’re on a first generation list. You shouldn’t be playing like this. I guess they stopped. Later I heard that this was a shoot that was set up to be done, and I heard that he popped, too. Slain Wayne released his response to it saying I had no idea until I realized, then I stopped. But other people later, even Naudia Rio, is saying no, I was hired to do the scene.”

Wankus asked Kitty how the incident made her feel. Kitty said the porn industry is a big industry but also a small one. “It’s like living in a small town,” she said philosophically. “Everybody talks shit about everybody. And it puts a lot of stress on you. The whole situation was a lot of bullshit.”

As far as Kitty could tell, there was a lot of “back peddling” by all parties concerned on versions of the story. “I was just trying to be there for him [Wayne], hey, baby, it’s going to be okay.”

With words supplied by Wankus, Kitty said she trusted Wayne’s word and stands behind him.