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Miami Exxxotica Expo: The good, the bad and the tawdry

from – The Exxxotica Expo, Miami Beach’s annual convention for all things adult-industry related, celebrates its fifth anniversary this weekend. And we promise: this is the only 5-year-old’s birthday party where you’ll be leaving with a goody bag full of porn, pasties and sex toys. If only there were a bounce house.

You’ve got three days to navigate everything that’s going on (and coming off). Here’s what expo-goers need to know.

Who’s appearing: All the current-day porntastic favorites, including Digital Playground’s Jesse Jane; Adam & Eve stars Teagan Presley, Bree Olson and Alexis Ford; adult stars Jenna Haze, Sunny Leone, Gina Lynn and Alexis Texas, Ron Jeremy, Shauna Sand, Savanna Samson and tons more. Intermingling with the adult créme de la créme are plenty of wannabes, reality stars and company reps wearing little and eager to vie for your attention.

What’s new: This will be the first of the conventions to feature Legends of Exxxotica, a lineup of the big-name adult film stars. Peter North, Jilly Kelly, Nina Hartley, Lisa Ann, Christy Canyon, Ginger Lynn and others will sign autographs and reminisce about the days of excessive body hair and terrible background music.

Entertainment: Exxxotica’s main stage runs round the clock, featuring a combo of musical performances, bikini (or less) competitions and vaudevillian stage antics. Take part in “So You Think You Can Do Porn?” — a physical challenge show where eager civilians are put into compromising positions that test their porn star skills. Or opt for “How Deviant are You?”

Seminars: Education is the key to success, folks, and that’s why Exxxotica delivers a full plate of industry-related seminars for its attendees. Learn how to get into the adult film industry, the legalities of starting an adult website or how to cajole your significant other into the swinging scene.

Exhibitors: Adult mags, websites and movie companies unabashedly display their wares alongside retailers of latex wear, toys, corsets and bondage gear. Vendors in the business of vanity are also abundant, so expect pitches for laser hair removal, airbrush tanning and other services that help you look better naked.

The VIP dealio: VIP status will get you access to a lounge where “Exxxotica Hotties” will mingle amidst free-flowing cash bars. Also included: admission to The Bedroom, where swingers club Miami Velvet will provide a bunch of cabanas.

Where: Miami Beach Convention Center, 1901 Convention Center Dr.

When: 4-11 p.m. Friday, 1-11 p.m. Saturday and noon-7 p.m. Sunday.

Tickets: General, single-day admission is $35; go all three days for $85. VIP admission is $65; weekend-long VIP pass is $150. Tickets can be purchased in advance or at the Convention Center; must be 18 for general admission, or 21 for VIP.

Parking: Park at the Convention Center for some solid moolah, or try to score a $1.25/hour meter nearby. Best bet: the 17th Street garage a few blocks away charges $1 an hour.


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