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Mr. Softee Cometh

Porn Valley – It’s a horrifying tale. It’s an electrifying tale. It’s a stand up and cheer-tale. For in this tale Porno Steve Seidman, aka Mr. Softee, the man who was unceremoniously cast out of Binions during the AEE, returned to Vegas in triumph by shooting a load. And we’re not talking at the craps table, either.
Seidman was on The Wanker Show on KSEX Monday night to relate the blow-by-blow encounter, if you will.

“It was fucking hilarious,” said Seidman who was at Harrah’s in Las Vegas for a slot tournament. “I’m walking around and I’m wearing my VCA shirt. And this little cutie about 18, 19 years-old came up to me.” Wankus suggested maybe it was 16. “Might have been,” said Seidman.

“She looked at the shirt, she said do you work for that company? No. She says are you in the adult industry? Yeah. She says whadya do? Of course I always have cards on me and I hand it to her. She says you’re a porn talent agent. I go, yeah. So she said I’ve been breaking into the business. We were talking a little. She says why don’t we talk a little more in your room? I go okay. So we went up to my suite.”

According to Seidman, the girl asked if she could audition for him. Seidman said, yeah, and the girl asked if he would take down his pants. Wankus suspected Seidman might have needed a crowbar to facilitate the operation. “As I took down my pants she said you’re a little bit hairy there,” Seidman continued. “Mind if I shave you?” Flexxx immediately wanted to know why Seidman would let someone get that close to his penis with a razor. The girl then did the shave-thing, according to Seidman. “We sat in the jacuze for a little bit then she brought me over to the bed.” The girl proceeded to give Seidman a blowjob.

At this point in the narrative, Wankus was compelled to bring up the fact that Seidman hasn’t gotten hard in years and proudly proclaims the fact on a vanity license plate. Wankus also suggested that drugs in the past might have had something to do with it. “I’m not being funny. They say that does fuck you up.” It was also noted that Seidman has attempted Viagra with little success. “But at the same time you let this girl suck your dick,” Wankus said.

“It feels good,” Seidman related. “I let her suck my dick. She did a good job, and I came. I was semi.” The girl then asked Seidman how it was. Seidman then asked the girl who she was in Vegas with. “My mother and father. Oh, shit.” Seidman said was too petrified to ask for I.D. and figured it was late at night that mom and dad were going to come and get him. “8 o’clock in the morning I was checking out of the hotel.”

“You left her your card and your DNA in her hair,” Wankus hastened to remind. Seidman claims the girl swallowed his seed. “She’s from Phoenix and I told her to make sure she listened to KSEX tonight, but I guess, Amanda, unless she’s in under a different name is not listening.” Seidman assumed she might have been in the chat room.

Wankus then grilled Seidman on the heat ratio based on the fact that Seidman claimed Molly Malone was hot and Wankus saw her as a 5. “Was she above 5?” Seidman figured her to be 7.5.

“She was about 5’5″, weighed about 105 and she had natural C-cups. She had long blond hair and she looked good.” Probing to see if the girl might have been underage, Wankus asked if she had the non-stretch skin. “This was 18, 19 year-old skin…I hope,” said Seidman. “Hopefully it wasn’t 15, 16.”

Asked whatever happened to Malone, Seidman said Molly flaked out on a signing gig he had for her at AEE. “She only had about a month and a half notice,” he said sarcastically. “She agreed to it and everything else. All of a sudden the day before she was, ‘I don’t have any money to come out there.’ Girl, what have you been doing for the last month and a half? You’ve been dancing. Jesus Christ.”

Wankus told his Molly Malone-Florida story and how Malone wanted some Wank-dick but without Daisy around. Wankus said he went to Florida for the Dolphin opener, got there a day early for business-stuff and got a call from Molly asking what he was doing. Malone asked if she could come over. Wankus suggested waiting until Daisy got in town and they could all have a good time. “She never came over. She just wanted to play a little bit on the side.” Wankus said had it been Carmen Luvana who made the call he might have been a bit more aggressive. Seidman noted that he had discovered Luvana in Miami at Tootsie’s.

“You’re only success,” added Wankus rubbing it in.



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