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Opening Up Pandora’s Box: Chicago Sexcon 2010 at the Excalibur/Vision Nightclub

Chicago – from – There are certain times where one can’t help but marvel at human nature. Chicago’s [recent] 2010 Sexcon is the perfect example of that. The seven-hour event attracts a very distinct crowd, to say the least.

Over 5,000 people came out on a Wednesday night in downtown Chicago to celebrate the adult entertainment industry. Not surprisingly almost all were men. Most were cool and collected throughout the entire, surreal event. But others gave off the impression that they might be sex offenders and proud of it. One man walked through the crowd in a hat and long, brown trench coat. I kept expecting him to open it wide and flash the crowd with his naughty bits. Thankfully, that didn’t happen, at least not around me.

Every hour the event became more crowded and chaos slowly mounted. By Midnight you could barely move anywhere in the huge, mazelike interior of Excalibur. The crowd quickly became territorial.

Various booths set-up throughout the nightclub promoted half naked women openly pleasuring each other. Even a random attractive girl wandering through the crowd warranted nearly 100 men to stop, stare and photograph.

One could hardly blame them, although the show of force was a little intimidating. The plethora of pleasures promoted throughout the night was enough to make anyone blush. I have had dreams about nights like this (and so have you, admit it). By halfway through the night all eyes were on the pole in the middle of the club. Professional strippers and amateurs alike fought to see who could work it the best. Greeted by howls from the crowd and pumping techno music the night very quickly turned surreal.

This was the one night where all the things you never talk about come into the light. Want to have breast enhancements? There is a doctor waiting to talk to you in the other room. Looking for just the right sex toy? There are about 20 booths to choose from. All the men that always drool over strippers and porn stars finally got their chance to talk to them in person. The results were interesting, as you may expect.

Polekatz Gentleman’s Club set up a booth that not only promoted the women but also gave free back massages. My attempt to get one was hampered by the five or so men openly (and badly) hitting on my masseuse. Although not actually a stripper, by nature of just being a female that night made her fair game in the eyes of any man there. As I got my massage I could hear the pick up lines get thrown at her. As I tried to enjoy my massage, all I could hope is that I’m not that lame when I try and pick up women.

As the night ventured on, the crowd became stranger. Most of the hardcore perverts had gotten their kicks early on and left just after Midnight. Now all that remained were party loving frat boy types and the juiced up men that actually dated the women. It may not seem like much at first but that mix is extremely interesting to watch.

Many of the boyfriends did not seem to fully understand the concept of the night. “Why you looking at my girl like that bro?” said a tall, bulky man in his late 20s to a rather small man that had just whistled at his girl. The girl was wearing short shorts (they just barely qualified) and had cleavage to spare. “What are you talking about?” the man responded, obviously confused by the whole situation. “Don’t look at my girl like that or there’s going to be trouble!” the juicer yelled defensively. Within minutes he had to be hauled off by his girlfriend and others around him just so he wouldn’t beat up an innocent bystander.

Despite what appeared to be a isolated incident, I still think the event is something everyone should experience with their own eyes. It is a night of in your face hedonism that you just can’t find any place else. Whether you are going to be a spectator or because you’re one of those that take the lifestyle seriously, it is a good time. Sometimes you have to embrace the chaos and the naughty inside us all.


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