Michael Musto writes in The Village Voice: I generally don’t run p.r. pitches, but this one was too delicious not to grab with bare hands and pass on to you folks. It’s about a laser hair remover’s offbeat encounters with celebrities, most notably a porn star who wanted his dick to be as hairless as a chihuahaua (but much bigger). What it’s promoting I have no idea–follicle-free fucking?–but here’s the pitch anyway:

“Jaws dropped when a clothed, musclebound, 6′ 3” bisexual erotic entertainer and porn star, Zeb Atlas, who just finished his first gay porn film, walked into ‘Phoenix Rising Laser’ for his laser session. Behind closed doors, the hunk stripped down to his birthday suit for ‘Doctor’ (Paul) Morgan and told him he wanted any hair removed from the shaft of his penis, so that cameras could catch him in all his full-length nine-and-a- half-inch glory.

Zeb asked the ‘cool as a cucumber’ Morgan, ‘Do you want me to get a boner so that you can zap each hair?’ Morgan, who has seen it all (having spent much of last month creating heart-shaped bikini areas that he calls ‘heart-attacks’ for women and similarly shaped ‘heart-ons’ for the Chelsea crowd for Valentine’s Day), lay Zeb down on the table and got down to business (no cameras this time). Morgan’s results were picture perfect and Zeb’s fans are incredibly happy with the results.

“Another of Morgan’s client’s is not quite such an exhibitionist. Kyra Sedgwick’s brother Rob goes to Morgan on a regular basis for laser services. Morgan would not say what the former actor turned Lula’s Sweet Apothecary vegan ice cream parlor owner undergoes when he visits the Certified Laser Specialist at his West 27th Street offices. Needless to say, there will be no stray hairs found in the cones!”