Porn Valley- Bob and Carol and Ted and Alice appear to have nothing on Jack and Becka and Lisa Marie and Aria. KSEX listeners got more than they bargained for last week when Jack Spade and Becka Bratt were on The Wanker Show talking about their game of musical bedrooms, Spade being married to Aria but having Bratt for a girfriend who has Lisa Marie for a girlfriend.
Wankus said on www.ksexradio.com that he had received an e-mail requesting that he get Spade, Bratt, Lisa Marie and Aria all on the show to talk about it. But if he were to do so, that would be having too many voices on at the same time, he reasoned.
Wankus pointed out that for all intents and purposes, Spade was still Aria’s official man but that Bratt was his girlfriend. Bratt explained that Lisa Marie was her friend. “We all just hang out.” Jack said his boundaries with Lisa Marie would only include shoots. “I keep requesting her.” Bratt made it clear that there was a hands off policy when it came to Spade, however. “All my friends are scared of me when it comes to him.”
Wankus reported that Spade was also the reason why Sardos instituted a disclaimer policy at Porn Star Karaoke. “You were wearing your pants. You took your balls out of your pants. You had your zipper open and your balls were hanging to the floor and girls were in a line licking your nuts. It was hysterical.”
At that point Sardos apparently instituted a rule about keeping your clothes on. Spade said he heard that pictures were taken and put on the Internet. According to Spade, the police had a picture of his balls and allegedly went to the owner of Sardos with it.
Speaking of Spade’s balls hanging out, Wankus said he was on a shoot where the same thing happened. Spade was working with Flick Shagwell. Wankus heard that Shagwell’s not doing scenes any more. Spade wondered if it was a boyfriend-thing as far as Shagwell was concerned. Bratt said Shagwell was her idol. “She’s crazier than me. She’s just a psycho. I love her.” Wankus remembered the scene as being one where Spade was required to rough Shagwell up. “It was a Nicole London production,” Wankus noted. Spade conceded that it wasn’t nearly his best day. Wankus said there was another weird request involved in that Spade was asked if he’d t-bag Shagwell’s pussy. “They wanted full nut sac in her pussy.” Wankus remembered how Spade laughed thinking it was a joke.
“No, we’re serious. We want you to try to get your full nut sac in her pussy.” Spade said it’s an awkward thing because they’ll do that to male talent on a set. “They’ll say, hey, we want you to do that. Meanwhile the girl’s looking at you from the corner of her eye- like if you even…”
Spade said he was inspired by the idea by that it required a “tool” of some sort to accomplish. “Like a shoe horn?” Wankus asked. Bratt didn’t think she was working that particular day and Wankus seemed to remember her chilling by the pool. Spade remembered Bratt and Aria working with Lee Stone that day. Bratt said she and Brittaney Skye had a wager going on whether Bratt would be able to take Stone. Wankus noted that Skye didn’t show up for a scene that she was supposed to shoot for KSEX and wondered whether she had been partying with Bratt the day before. “No, I can’t be blamed for everything,” Bratt said.
Wankus mentioned that Skye did call a couple of hours before the scene and claimed that she had strep throat. Then, in another instance when Jezabel Bond didn’t show up for a scene a suggestion was made to replace her with Bratt, except Wankus didn’t have her phone number.
After a commercial break Wankus brought up the fact that he heard a story about a disagreement concerning Spade, a baseball bat and a windshield. Bratt said there was no story that there were still things among debate, legally. Bratt then proceeded with a disconnected account unlikely to show up on Court TV any time soon.
Bratt said some guy got hit with a baseball bat and had his car window busted. “They go back to their house.” Then Bratt started yammering about some other girl “coming over to supposedly another girl’s house, blond hair pink skirt, and barges in to said girl’s house and tries to attack her and said girl proceeds to whip the other girl’s ass. And then that girl called the cops.”
Then, according to what he had heard, Wankus said Spade grabbed a baseball bat and slammed the guy’s windshield in. “Because he [?] was pounding on the girl with the pink skirt,” Bratt said. “He was pounding on her door and threatening her.”
“Anybody get that?” Wankus wondered, noting the wholesale but dysfunctional drama in Spade’s life. It was suggested that’s what Spade gets for having a wife and a girlfriend. Bratt explained that she used to live with Spade and Aria. “I love the both of them dearly.” Wankus suggested that Bratt moved out just to confuse the cops when they show up. Bratt said she got her own place a couple of miles away. According to Bratt, Spade and Aria then moved right across the street from her 30 days later. “I was, like, what happened to space?” Wankus suggested that it enables Spade to spy on her. “Don’t cheat on a married man!”
But Bratt admitted it was convenient because at night she can come over and sleep in his room with Spade. “That way I don’t have to be alone in the house.” Spade said they had been looking into making the entire arrangement legal and that they had a reality show follow them around in Vegas this past January. “They were so intrigued about our relationship-thing. By the end of the week they’re like, man, you live in hell.”
Bratt then offered an “abbreviated” story in which she and Aria were torturing Spade, then smearing him all over with peanut butter and chocolate syrup. From what you would gather, members of the animal kingdom were also involved.