Miami used to be known as the elephant graveyard for Bermuda shorts, Cuban expatriates, retired mobsters and New York City garment district workers.
But thanks to all kinds of political bribes and illegal drug money its former doddering image has been spiffed to the glorious, impossibly sexy pastels of Dade County party central.
Truth is, and I’ve been there enough times to know, there’s something about the climate, the tans and the people that make you want to drop your pants in the middle of a busy street. It could be the salt air and humidity. The proximity to Cuba.
Or maybe it’s the overwhelming power of Santeria, the practice of cutting off live chicken heads accompanied by the ritual dance of the semi-naked voodoo priestess as she writhes over a tombstone like it were the finals of a Spring Break Wet T-shirt contest.
The thought does occur. Especially after news this week that one of the BangBros performers, a desperado named Raul Armenteros, was arrested by cops for cruelty to animals and held on $110,000 bail. A noise that sounded like the screams of a wailing child first drew Miami police to Armenteros’ van in a parking lot on Monday.
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