Porn Valley- At least one of my questions has been answered. Like, where would you take a woman who’s got mammoth gazongas – which she lacquers with an Earl Scheib spray tan, by the way – out on a date?
In Pamela Peaks’ case it would probably be Staples. Granted, Peaks’ chest circumference could occupy the entirety of Staples Center. But I was thinking more along the lines of the place where you buy ball point pens and other office supplies. And that’s where I suspect Peaks, www.pamelapeaks.com, would be happier than a pig in a packet of multi-colored post-its.
Because you get the quick impression that, when it comes to running an operation, Peaks is as anal as a finger in the ass. “I love all that office shit,” Peaks, a computer nerd, admits. Peaks grew up in an office environment, she tells me and knows the ways and means around getting a project solidly off the ground.
For instance, when it comes to her cooking show which tapes Wednesday nights in North Hollywood, Peaks, who carries calendars and notebooks around like men lug their balls, is on the horn booking guests. Sometimes as much as five months in advance. “That’s how you get them to show up,” states Peaks. Some porn companies work it five minutes in advance, but Peaks is not as cavalier when it comes to booking talent. “It’s whoever I meet at the conventions,” she says. “When I go to the conventions I’m already doing interviews for my other show- Pamela Peaks Speaks. After I interview them I say, hey, want to come on my cooking show?” Each week Peaks attempts to come up with five attractive bodies.
But even the best laid plans sometimes comes up with an almost empty plate – like last night. Peaks has two guests from pornoland in the house. Generally, Peaks’ kitchen is brim with a sexual rapacity handed down from Caligula. However, T.J. Cummings, who was celebrating a birthday, aptly spins the show in directions allowing you to breathe a wholesale sigh of relief considering there’s only three people manning the spatula.
For T.J., a nice man equipped with an impish grin bordering on doofus, has a sense of the very dry when it comes to the absurd. And if you didn’t know any better, you’d swear Cummings, who’d be cast as the Oakie farm boy in the movies, got kicked in the head by a mule, such is his delayed reaction and double-takes which prove hilarious. Especially when Heather Diamondz, the other guest, wants a crack at his boxer shorts. “This is so gay,” Cummings smiles quietly.
Also on board for the evening is Diamondz who’s done maybe two porn scenes so far but can milk a good Maury Povich story. Diamondz was apparently in New York recently. And the way Diamondz tells the story, the producers of the show saw her pix on the Adult Staffing Services website [she hooked up with Joey Serio through L.A. Weekly]. As a result, they wanted her to come on. “It was like a runway modeling type of thing where there’s women and T.S.’s.,” Diamondz explains. “It’s one of those type of shows where it’s who’s the men, who’s the women.”
According to Diamondz, the show had its participants wearing outfits ranging from ball gowns to nighties. “When it comes to my scene, I raise my arms up- 100% girl,” Diamondz laughs. At 6′ 2″ with features that would form first impressions, Diamondz certainly displays all the body parts in all the right places.
I get the impression the Povich show airs around Halloween, so who says porn stars can’t find dignified, mainstream opportunities?
Diamondz, a porn fan, says she got into the business because of older stars like Randy West and Peter North, though she wouldn’t mind sucking Lee Stone’s cock she tells me. “I’m having a thing for Lee Stone!” she says. Now there’s a scalp Stone would be proud to hang from his Harley handlebars. Diamondz, sensing a p.r. gesture in the making, also includes Randy Detroit who does the camerawork for Peaks’ show. “They are the guys that made me want to be a porno star,” she laughs, stating how her ambitions stem from her youth and that she’s pretty much up for anything extreme of nature. Proving what a porn junkie she truly is, Diamondz tells Cummings she recognizes him from a scene he did in a limo. Cummings goes, wow, that was like four years ago.
Before we get to the main course which are scallops entangled in a delicious mango marinade, topped with ginger and other tropical accoutrements, Peaks tells me that she’s taught her first porn class. She’s doing a monthly one at the Learning Annex and her first class consists entirely of men. I would love to have been a fly on that wall, especially if some guys walked into the wrong room under the impression they were taking a course in Hydraulic Spray Tanning.
Cummings, no relation to Dave Cummings, [you almost feel obliged to state that] wonders what I’m whispering about in my tape recorder. “If you’re looking for dirt I could have given you some good dirt, but I’m not in the business anymore,” he sighs. Now he tells me. Cummings, who started in 1999, left porn apparently under the mistaken impression that he was in love with a civilian. He broke up with the woman two months later but discovered a day job in computers that pays sizably better.
Cummings has decided to keep the day job but, from what I gather by his gym stories, bangs broads regularly that are somehow connected to the industry. Among them are a few of Peaks’ big-titted friends. When Cummings learns that I’ve had a go at Plenty Up Top, which was a few years ago, I practically become his hero. Cummings also confesses that he has a thing for Chelsea Charms who’s supposed to possess the biggest tits on the planet.
Peaks can’t afford to wait for the no-shows to show because Cummings, who’s house sitting for his parents, needs to get back before the flood waters rise to dangerous levels. He lends some details as to why this is so, but the situation gets too convoluted to be appreciated in brief context. As the show progresses, I would have liked to have taken Cummings up on his offer of dirt especially when he gets on a roll about Brianna Banks. Cummings says Banks is the best fuck he’s ever had. “She was good- she was really good.”
Detroit, who certainly appreciates a scallop swimming in a good marinade as the next man, claims he shot Banks’ very first scene- with paperwork to prove it- when she was using the name Sparkle. “She sucked every part of me- it was pretty cool,” says Detroit. Cummings remembers Banks doing really, really rough and tumble hardcore before she signed up with Vivid.
“But Vivid won’t allow it,” says Cummings. “They have a Brianna rule. You can’t choke Brianna on camera- you can, but as long as the camera doesn’t show it.” Cummings said he once fucked Banks’ face so hard he caught her tooth on his dick.
We seem to be getting a lot of those stories lately.