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Putting Lead in Your Porn Pencil

Washington- There are pencil-necked geeks. And then there are ways of killing geeks with a pencil. Mark Kulkis and dirty ops specialist G. Gordon Liddy exchanged secrets today on how to do exactly that. Kulkis and Liddy got into a discussion about it, and Kulkis told Liddy the method he knew and showed him. Upon which, Liddy illustated two other methods. Kulkis knew about the ol’ uppercut through the upper palate into the brain method. I asked Kulkis what it was that Liddy showed him. Kulkis said he’s bound by secrecy. “I’m not at liberty to divulge them,” said Kulkis explaining how it is when you’re taught the secret CIA handshake.

I’m telling Kulkis that because of some server shut down bugaboo I wasn’t able to hear the second hour of Liddy’s show in which Kulkis and Mary Carey guested but hope to grab it off the Liddy archives. Kulkis said he and Carey got about half an hour on air. According to Kulkis, Liddy filled them in on what to expect, having been to a bunch of fund raisers himself.

“He started out by telling us what to expect then asked what we were trying to get out of it,” Kulkis said. “We said pretty much what we’ve been talking about- that we want to put on a good face, that once people see us, it’ll break the stereotype of what they probably imagine. They’ll realize that normal people are in the porn business.” I was curious where G. Gordon was coming from in all this. Kulkis said it appeared that Liddy was taking a neutral stance. “He asked Mary about being a Christian. She said she was and offered to go to church with him at which point he said Mrs. Liddy, I don’t know if she’d go for that.”

Liddy also took several calls which also appeared to be supportive, says Kulkis. “Then during the break I told him about the 2257 and he was very interested in that. So when we came from the break we talked about that for awhile.” Kulkis said his impression of Liddy is to get government off our backs. “He’s a good guy.” Then at the hotel, a secret service agent approached Carey and asked for her autograph. “He had the earpiece and a special lapel pin that I.D’s him,” said Kulkis. “It’s like a star- a gleaming lapel pin. But no sunglasses. It was indoors.”

The big to-do is tomorrow.

“We have lunch with Karl Rove at noon,” said Kulkis. “Then we’re doing a press conference where Mary’s going to preview the dress she’s wearing. All the media will be able to get pictures of her in advance of that. Unless you’re White House press corps already, you can’t get into this thing. So we wanted to give everyone else a chance to see Mary and what she’s going to be wearing.” The dinner starts at six. Then Kulkis and Carey plan going to New York the following day.

As I was speaking to Kulkis they were just about to go on the Don & Mike Show which is syndicated.

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