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Rob Spallone Equals Py Squared; “you’re better off taking your dick and sticking it in a dumpster”- final

Porn Valley- Not quite on the intellectual level of Breakfast with Blassie, the Canoga Park relationship counselor Rob Spallone shared a non sequitur table side chat outdoors recently with a Korean relationship counselor named Py. [She’s written a book.]

Wankus filmed that exchange and played it on PrimeTimeUncensored, Wednesday night.

Py’s starts off by talking about Jenna Jameson’s book How to make Love Like a Porn Star. Except she thinks someone named Janine wrote it. Spallone’s wearing a baseball cat. He’s in shorts, his chest is bare and his surly arms wrap over his head as he continually stretches. This is a high-concept moment.

“How to make-a love like a porn star,” Py repeats.

“If you were to fuck a porn girl, you’re better off taking your dick and sticking it in a dumpster,” Spallone suggests.

“Rob Black- the first movie he ever shot he shot at my place,” Spallone continues. “He had all big name girls in the movie. You know what a dumpster is where you take the garbage? Once a week the garbage truck picks it up. He told two of the girls- get in there and do a sex scene. They did. Is that normal? They’re sick! They’ll do whatever you tell ’em to do.”

Py notes that Spallone’s got a 26 year old woman [Leal].

“You had wonderful sex last night?” she wants to know.

“Last night I want to the fights,” Spallone tells her. “Today we had sex.”

“To make up?” Py asks.

“Make up for what?” Spallone asks back.

“I thought you had a fight.”

“I went to the fights last night- front row,” Spallone comments. “Now are you going to help me with my relationship? What are you going to do, tell the 26 year-old girl what are you doing with this fat old man?”

Instead, Py tells Spallone hers is a Geisha philosophy.

“Why do people go to a Geisha house? They want to feel like a man,” she says. “It’s not about sex. It’s to feel good about yourself as a man.”

“The Geishas put you on top of a pedestal,” Spallone agrees. “My next girlfriend will cut my tongue out. But I like when she licks my balls so I got to be able to put it back in. But I don’t want to hear her mouth go. Maybe we’ll just take the voice box out.”

“Men want women just to be quiet and shut up,” agrees Py.

“Can you find me one like that?” Spallone asks.

“I thought she was the one,” says Py.

“She don’t shut up,” Spallone comments. “I gotta shoot her.”

Py tells Spallone that she’s not there to find him another woman and asks why he’s with Leah.

“The sex is fine,” said Spallone. Taking a look at all the cars around his house, Py felt that Spallone throws off the impression that he’s loaded.

“He’s rich- I want to suck his dick,” says Spallone anticipating what Py’s about to say regarding how a woman thinks.

“I don’t know about dick- a woman thinks about money first,” Py tells him. “And you are rich.”

Spallone explains that he owns a topless bar in New York.

“And I had two sets of friends- I had rich friends and I had a bunch of kids that grew up- they had nothing. The rich guys would come to the bar and spend money. My poor friends would come there and they’d have to buy them drinks all night. The girls on the stage- they wanted the poor guys. because any girl can get any guy she wants. Fat, ugly, whatever she is. A dat old guy with money- he can’t get any girl he wants.”

“Did you say he was on crack?” Py asks out of left field.

“Crack? The crack of my ass?” says Spallone. “Oh, what am I, a plumber?”

“Yeah, you look like a plumber,” Py tells him.

“Listen to me,” Spallone comments. “You need help. Listen to me. Any fat guy cannot have any girl. It don’t matter if that 400 pound guy is the richest guy in the world. If a real pretty girl don’t want to be with him, she’s not going to be with him.”

“Because of shame,” Py suggests.

“Getting back to the other thing- why those girls only like the poor guys?” Spallone continues.

“I’d love to know,” states Py. “Why is that?”

“Because that rich guy’s going to be with that fucking whore,” Spallone expounds. “But that other guy will let her go up there and take her clothes off and let her suck dick. But then he don’t have to work. Did you learn anything yet today? You thought you were coming here to teach me something! I’m going to have a book- it’s just going to be a picture of me and all blank. And I just make it up every time I go.”

“Okay what is the title?” Py asks.

“Who gives a fuck,” says Spallone.

Py describes Spallone as a “match-o guy.”

“Like the Village People?” asks Spallone.

“Like-a you,” she says. “You’re too tough.”

“I get what I want,” says Spallone. “If you ain’t gonna give me what I want, what am I going to do with you? I’m not gonna kill you.”

“You might hit me or slap my face,” says Py.

“If I hit you, you die,” Spallone answers.

“I don’t feel comfortable and warm here,” Py comments.

“You want me to get you a gun to hold?” Spallone offers.

“Maybe all the women feel the same way,” Py suggests. “Can you cover that fat belly?”


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