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Rob Spallone: He’s Dr. Craig Seuss, the Bullshit Artist

Porn Valley- Rob Spallone says Craig Valentine’s a bullshit artist. Spallone says Valentine makes the top five list of bullshit artists of all time in the adult business.

Spallone calls earlier in the week regarding a matter involving – what else- money. He claims Valentine owes friends of his dough and that Valentine ain’t paying, even though Valentine assured him that he had or would. Spallone goes on to say that Valentine wasn’t picking up the phone for his calls.

“Used to be every time I took a shit, he’d be calling me before the shit hit the water,” says Spallone. “Now he don’t pick up the phone.”

Figuring that this might be a situation easily arbitrated, if reasonable heads prevailed, I call Valentine.

“I figure you’d be calling, Rob call you?” says Valentine primarily after Spallone apparently told him he’d be blasting the story all over the Internet that he was a bullshit artist.

But no story involving Valentine, is an easy one to follow. Like his emails, they all have the effect of brain freeze, and this one’s got all the trademark vertigo aspects of a story involving Craig Valentine.

On the simple side of things, Valentine’s issues are with Jet over a printing bill and Magnus, regarding a scene Valentine was supposed to have shot for them. But Valentine is also saying Spallone is in the middle of something he shouldn’t have gotten into.

In June Valentine sent a job to Jet printing. Then he put a halt on the job the day after he sent it because there was a problem with the job.

“A week later they ran the job,” says Valentine. “They bill me for the job although they got my email not to run it.” According to Valentine who’s muttering something about guys named Robert and Alberto, it was a matter of one person neglecting to tell another over at Jet. And this Robert and Alberto were apparently the guys not communicating.

“But that’s not my problem,” says Valentine. “They made me pay it which I wasn’t too thrilled about. My replicator told me I shouldn’t have paid the bill. Then they try to bill me for Autumn Skye’s business cards and we all know her story.”

Not withstanding the fact that Skye had also claimed to be pregnant with a phantom baby Valentine.

“Then they were supposed to run another job which they were a week and a half late in delivering,” Valentine continues.

“And there was another job where they forgot to print a fucking thing. Then they ran a job they didn’t have a purchase order for but they ran it anyway.”

“During this whole mess I was shooting scenes for Steve from Magnus,” Valentine goes on to say. “And he supposedly owns Jet Printing. Magnus was supposed to pay me for scenes I was shooting. He told me for six weeks to start shooting scenes. But I couldn’t get paid from the fucking guy.”

Valentine is claiming that Steve owes him for tapes. At this point I’m getting a bit slap happy but I continue to listen.

Valentine is saying something about paying $750 for a job that he got “hosed” on. Meaning the printing bill, I assume.

“Everyone told me that one- including my distributor- that I should get the money back,” says Valentine. “He ran a job he doesn’t have a purchase order on, but he swears he has one.”

But Valentine is also claiming that this particular order was sent to FB printing although the file was mistakenly uploaded to Jet.

Valentine also claims that he has an email to prove this. So in Valentine’s reasoning, because Steve at Magnus didn’t send tapes to him, Valentine deducted money he overpaid for the printing bill.

“And I basically took my time paying for the two printing jobs. And he was a week and a half late on the printing. He said he printed it and my replicators are waiting at the loading docks for the printing to be delivered.”

Valentine says he next gets a phone call from Spallone.

“He didn’t want to hear shit. Robert of Jet is right because he does printing for Rob’s dad. He prints boxcovers for him. Whatever.”

Given that, Valentine says he’s still baffled at Spallone’s behavior.

“He’s supposed to be my friend. Those guys are overcharging me. They fucking ripped us off but Rob don’t want to hear. This didn’t come out of Rob’s pocket.”

Valentine explains that the reason why he wasn’t picking up for Spallone was that Spallone was screaming at him.

“That’s all he does is scream at me,” contends Valentine. “I don’t want to hear it.”

In this situation, Valentine feels he did what he was supposed to do and expected Spallone to stand up for him.

“But he took the other side. The guy’s supposed to be my friend.”

Now here’s where it gets good. Robert is supposed to own Jet Printing, but, according to Valentine, he doesn’t.

“Steve’s father-from Magnus- owns it,” says Valentine. “Because it was Boris, Steve’s father who I was fighting with on the billing.”

I asked Valentine if he ever gets involved in normal every day issues that make sense.

In any event, Valentine claims the printer being late pushed his release date back a month.

“How much money did I lose?” asks Valentine. “Then he calls me up the next day and asks where’s the money for the printing? Oh you mean the job that made me lose money for the entire month. You’ll get the check when you get it- it’ll be as timely as the printing. Then I’m getting phone calls five, six times a day for a $180 press job.”

Valentine says the total amount being disputed is $750.

“You know the only time I get into a fight is when I get ripped off.”

In any event Valentine claims he sent a check for a second boxcover Jet printed and that he paid the way he’s supposed to pay.

“The over charge was $750, and the boxcover he’s billing me for that he wasn’t supposed to run, I just deducted off the scene I shot for Steve. With the tapes he never sent me we should be about dead even except for maybe a $100 in change.”

If nothing else, Valentine thinks this will probably cost a friendship between him and Spallone.

“Because Rob can’t be wrong. But I’m not out to screw anybody. Jet screwed me.”

I convey Valentine’s comments to Spallone.

“He’s full of shit,” says Rob. “He owes people money. He goes around like a big shot. He don’t have ten cents and that’s it. He screwed up. So pay the guy. You said you were sending it. You never sent it. The kid’s a bullshit artist.”

Spallone says when he got involved with this, he put people on threeway to compare notes.

“And I never yelled- I was very nice. I heard both sides of the story.”

“I said Craig how much do you owe? He said what he owed. The other guy said, no, what about this? Craig goes, oh I forgot about that, you’re right.”

According to Spallone, Valentine was sent $1200 to shoot a scene and he never sent it.

“It’s been two months now. But Craig says that guy [Steve] owes me for tapes. How much does he owe you? $160. I said I’ll tell you what. You send the scene. You owe Robert whatever you owe him minus the $160. Do we agree on that? He said he would call back with a tracking number, but I never heard from him again. Won’t return a call but he calls all the time when he needs something.”

Just to test a theory, Spallone had Harry Weiss call Valentine and Valentine answered. But when Spallone tried, Valentine didn’t pick up.

“Admit you don’t have the guy’s money, you robbed him,” says Spallone.

“And you pay him off. And he’s full of shit. I never screamed or yelled at him.”

According to Spallone, Valentine still owes a scene plus around $800.

“This guy owns condos in Hawaii? Without the girl [Summer Haze] that used to go out and dance, that was his income. Oh my family’s in the mob. They own every strip club in Florida. The guy’s a bullshit artist. A total bullshit artist. That girl dumped him when she realized he was a bullshit artist after all those years.

“Every person in the last two years that he dealt with- Bob from Dane- two weeks later that guy screwed him. This week he’s with the Koretskys. The only problem is you can’t fuck the Korteskys.”

“He probably never shot the scene,” Spallone thinks. “Why this guy gave him $1200 to shoot the scene is beyond me. The reason he didn’t send the scene is because the guy owed him $160? Okay. So we fix that. Deduct that and send the guy his scene. But don’t send an old scene, Craig, because I know your fucking game. He’s fighting with agents in Florida. Everybody that screwed him? He screwed them. He can’t help but be a bullshit artist.

“He loves to drop names- Ron Jeremy this. Don’t impress me that you’re going to dinner with Ron Jeremy. We’re going with this wrestler, that wrestler…who gives a fuck? Be a stand up guy and send the scene. But this is what he does.”

Spallone says he was called into the issue by Magnus about two weeks ago.

“The guy would never have called me up if Craig didn’t screw him. Craig has nine million lawsuits and nine million fights with everybody. He can’t help it. All he had to say was I screwed up but he couldn’t do that. The guy’s a story teller. He should write children’s books. Because they like all that type of bullshit, like the monkey can fly. He’s perfect. Dr. Craig Seuss, the bullshit artist.”


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