Porn Valley- A blond stripper named Sandra, who bears a passing resemblance to Kristi Myst, came on the Howard Stern Show today to be evaluated by three porn mags- Penthouse, Barely Legal and Swank. Representing the magazines were Warren Tang the well known photographer for Penthouse; Lisa Genio, the editor for Barely Legal and David Dizuzio an editor for Swank.
Stern first had a chat with the judges. Stern noted that Penthouse gets some real high quality chicks, but Gary Dell’Abate was less lofty in his praise of Barely Legal. “Barely Legal is a whole other thing,” he said. “And Swank is a good magazine but I think a girl’s preference would be to be in Penthouse first.”
It was also Stern’s opinion that a Penthouse guy would look at a girl and go, “Look, honey, you ain’t in Penthouse; or you are in Penthouse. The Swank guy will go you’re not in Swank or you are in Swank.” Robin Quivers thought that Penthouse and Swank were about on the same level. Stern begged to differ. “They got different types of girls [than Penthouse]. They have nastier girls,” Stern said. Quivers asked if Barely Legal was just anyone you shoot. Stern said you had to look real young to qualify.
Stern mentioned that he had been photographed by Tang. “But not in the nude.” Stern said Tang has the best job he’s ever seen. “He gets the chicks in there- right away he shoots- okay girls, c’mon, girl on girl. Let’s do this. You order the girls around.” Tang said he loves his job and Stern said he was good at it if you’ve ever seen the pictures.
“Just because they’re porno don’t mean they’re not good pictures,” said Stern. Stern asked Tang if people try to put him down because he shoots porn. Tang said he didn’t think so. Stern figured that standards of porn were less forgiving. “They want to really exciting, erotic pictures.” Tang said he started photography as a hobby when he was a kid, that he started taking pictures of girls later on. Tang’s first paying gig was as a fashion photographer then he sent pictures in to Penthouse. “I got lucky, actually. They liked what I did.” Tang is now exclusively with Penthouse.
Stern asked Tang if he started freaking out when Penthouse began taking pictures of girls going to the bathroom. Tang said he did but that he was also involved with that to some extent. “Now they’re changing back to the old style- softer and more glamour,” said Tang. Asked how he set up for he bathroom shots, Tang said a lot of cranberry juice helps.
“Do you have to put a lot of plastic down on the studio?” Stern wanted to know. Tang said yes. Stern also asked if he went crazy the first time. Tang said kind of. “I like the old fashioned glamour-stuff.” Quivers asked what happened to Guccione. “The guy went beserk,” Stern offered. “But he was good to you.” Tang also stated that he never has sex with the models. Tang said he wasn’t married and Stern immediately wanted to know if he was gay. “I don’t think so,” said Tang. Persisting with his line of questioning, Stern wanted to know why, then. Tang said it wasn’t professional to have sex with the models.
“Where do you meet chcicks?” Stern asked. “You’re with the hottest chicks. Go out with them. You’ve shot some of the most famous porn stars in the world- Jill Kelly, Asia Carrera. You did the last photo layout of Linda Lovelace. She didn’t give you anything?” Tang said no. Stern explained that when Sandra came into the studio, all Tang would have to do is tell her whether she was good enough for Penthouse. “She wants an honest answer, no b.s.”
Stern then introduced Barely Legal’s Genio, noting that she had the voice of a seven year-old. Genio said that it works really well for her and that, although, Larry Flynt runs the magazine, she does the hands-on work. “He has final approval, but I do everything.” Stern figured that Barely Legal was a big publication. “Dudes dig chicks who are almost underage.” Genio said the mag is also about girls who are really natural. “It’s for guys who want real boobs. No implants are allowed and not that much makeup. It’s not glamorous. It’s girls you see walking around the mall who look kind of hot but accessible.”
Quivers noted that Barely Legal was getting a lot of publicity as a result of the Michael Jackson case. “That’s good publicity for you guys,” Stern told Genio. Quivers thought the whole thing was a joke that she didn’t know Barely Legal was a real magazine. Artie Lang said unfortunately for Jackson he was with kids barely illegal. Stern said he reads the magazine. “I read them all. I’m Mr. Perv.” Prior to working at Barely Legal, Genio was executive editor of Chic Magazine, was associate editor at Hustler and was in charge of Beaver Hunt. “That was a fun job,” said Genio. Stern wondered if you could turn Beaver Hunt into a reality show. It was also noted that Genio would write the porno letters you’d see in the magazines. With that, Stern imagined Genio had an erotic fantasy going inside of her head. Genio said she started reading Penthouse at the age of 12. “When I found a stack of them in a closet.”
Genio went to NYU. “I was in publishing here in New York. Then I moved to L.A.,” she said. “I was looking for a job and porn is one of the biggest industries out there.” Stern found it funny that a chick would be writing the letters when it’s guys who know what the fantasies are. Genio explained that she wrote some of the letters from the female perspective. “I’d talk to people and find out what they like.” Stern figured with all that, Genio must be good in bed. Genio said she loves sex and has a boyfriend. Genio also said that most of the Barely Legal models were 18 and 19 but if they were older they had to look pretty fresh.
Stern asked Dizuzio how he would describe Swank given that Penthouse was real high end and Barely Legal was young and natural. Dizuzio was inclined to say that Swank had the perfect mix. “We’ve got really hot girls, just like Penthouse and Playboy. But our girls do nasty things. They have sex toys…” Stern couldn’t imagine those girls being as hot as the Penthouse chicks. “They won’t do those kinds of dirty things. They can get a hotter chick.” Dizuzio was prompted to think that Swank girls were on the same level. Stern asked if it was fair to say that one of the mags would sign Sandra if she passed muster.
On a scale of 1 to 10, Sandra rates herself a nine, Stern informed his listeners. Apparently she submitted some shots to Playboy last week but hasn’t heard back. Sandra is from Indiana and is 23. She’s always dreamt of being in porn magazines. For the time being, Sandra, who’s currently a stripper, said she was open to any possibilities. According to her, if she dances four days a week, she’ll make $2,000. Stern didn’t doubt it. “You’re way hot.” Asked if she did full contact lap dances, Sandra said she did and Stern told her he could get her in Scores easily. “Never mind this magazine-stuff.” Sandra said having grown up in Ft. Lauderdale, she wouldn’t mind working in the new Scores down there.
She says many of her customers have offered as much as $500 for her to go home with them. “I get that all the time.” But she’s not inclined to do that. It was also mentioned that Sandra is still with the same guy she lost her virginity to and that they were going to get married April 29.
“So you’re not really into the whore lifestyle,” Stern concluded. “You just want to be naked in a magazine.” Sandra said she’s proud of her body now but it took work to get there, that she was real tomboy-ish in high school. “Then I blossomed.” Asked if she’d have a problem meeting Swank’s “wild” criteria, Sandra said she’d have to see the magazine first. But she loves Penthouse and has seen something of Barely Legal. But it was also pointed out that her boobs are implants which would rule her out of that publication. Stern asked Genio if they could make an exception.
“We like to have integrity as far as boobs,” said Genio. “But her face is really cute.” Asked if he gets excited, Tang said not any more. Stern concluded that for him it’s probably more clinical. Sandra, who get her its last November, was asked if she tanned in anticipation of coming on. She said she did go to a booth for a couple of sessions. “Usually I don’t tan. I try to stay away from it.”
Being a stripper, Stern wondered if Sandra ever made it with another girl. She said the manager where she works is trying to cut down on that. “Because it’s really conservative in Indiana. You can get in a lot of trouble.” Stern figured she was, likewise, conservative. Sandra said she’s done things with girls before. Asked what her parents thought of it, Sandra said her mother knows. “She’s mad because she can’t listen to the show. But my dad doesn’t know.” Sandra said her parents were divorced and that she doesn’t talk to her father except for holidays. Stern then asked the magazine trio if that wasn’t true of most girls who pose for their publications, that they don’t talk to their fathers.
“There’s a lot of sad stories, right, Warren?” Tang said he didn’t think so. Stern thought that Sandra had a smokin’ body. Sandra at 5’4″ owns 34D’s. Genio’s opinion was if she could look past the boobs, Sandra was a shoe-in for Barely Legal.
“She has a really sweet face and great smile. We like girls who look really natural and are happy being naked.” Genio said the magazine, however, has made a promise to its readership to feature natural girls. Stern suggested that Sandra should have done Barely Legal before acquiring her boobs.
Dizuzio said from what he’d seen, Swank could use Sandra. “Generally we don’t run fake boobs, either. We try to keep them natural.” Stern took that response as a move to eliminate fake boobs. Dizuzio said it wasn’t that, there were just other magazines more appropriate to feature them. Stern asked if Sandra’s boobs looked too fake. Dizuzio wouldn’t say that. “I think they look pretty good.” Dizuzio said there was a distinct maybe as far as featuring Sandra and that he would have to run it by someone before making a commitment, that he would submit her picture. Asked if she would be willing to use sex toys, Sandra said she didn’t know. “I don’t know if I’d be comfortable with that.”
Tang said there was nothing wrong with Sandra, that her face was pretty. “Big smile, big bubbly personality. Great tan. Great stomach. The boobs are okay but not perfect. But I think we can work with those.” Tang explained that there were problems, however, with the way her boobs hang. “A little to the side, but I can work with that.” He also observed that Sandra had great legs and you could tell she works out. He would also go so far to say that her face was pretty and that she was magazine material. He would recommend her and do test shots.
Quivers suggested that the moral of the story was don’t get your breasts done in Indiana. “And don’t make them too big, either, if you’re a really skinny chick,” Stern added. Tang’s opinion was that Sandra went too big.
With Sandra getting on a bed, Stern had Tang direct her through a number of poses. “He knows what to do.” Asked if Sandra could get into Playboy, Tang didn’t think so. “Penthouse, yes.” Tang, similaly, ran Sandra through some poses with baby oil on her body and whipped cream rubbed in her ass.