Porn Valley- I won’t tolerate rude and unprofessional behavior from anyone- much less someone in the porn industry where insolence is an accredited academic course. And for that reason Sascha Koch, accent and all, gets Adultfyi’s first Jack Off of the week accolade. And Koch, who owns Remmet Studios, really worked hard to earn this distinction. Here’s what happened.

Koch took a banner on the Adultfyi site to run for a year. An arrangement which would have worked satisfactorily if not for the impression Koch got that this was entitlement to wear a gold crown and a bullet proof vest. To explain, a couple of things happened in the interim that sincerely led him to believe that. Koch showed up a couple of times on Defiance shoots, let’s say, in party mode but without a paper hat on his head. I wrote about these instances in humorous ways, making myself the butt of the jibe as well, but apparently Koch didn’t appreciate the tang in the sentence structure and put it out there that I was no longer to be invited to the same sets he was performing on.

Koch, who tends to hold up shoots anyway by showing late, didn’t have the stones to air his gripe to me personally. So I had to hear this from one of the directors. And you know something? Too fuckin’ bad. I wasn’t exaggerating anything in my reports from the set. Koch was partaking. So was I, courtesy of the Smirnoff coolers he was passing me.

Then, as luck would have it, Tim Myren who owned Naughty Modeling or Naughty Talent, whatever the agency name was, got involved in a business deal with Sascha. Tim’s not the greatest manager or agent who ever lived- just some stiff trying to make a living in the business. Like most of us. So Tim joined up with Sascha feeling somehow this would take his agency to the next level. It did. The elevator went to the second floor but without Tim aboard.

Tim got squeezed out of his own company for reasons that will never be truthfully apparent. Mainly because you’ll never get a straight story or answer in most porn drama. Sascha, who gave his side, went nuts because Tim called me to break the news to begin with. In the course of conversation, Sascha actually brought up the fact that he was an advertiser, meaning, I suppose, that I should have ignored Myren completely. Whatever the true facts of the story were, Myren was out of his own company. That much was certain.

Okay, so now a year has passed- actually a couple of months past a year, and I call Sascha. A no is one thing. Except this is what Sascha tells me- obviously referring to these former stories but never coming out and saying it – that he wants to have a better relationship with Adultfyi and actively promote the Remmet Studios. Okay, says I, I’m all for that. So I assume by what he’s saying that Sascha wants to re-new. I offer him a pretty square deal. And that’s when Sascha pulled porn’s famous back door weasel play. He brings up his “partner” which is to say everything was okay with Sascha as long as his partner was cool with it. So when things go amuck, you blame the partner and remain the good guy.

Here I let things simmer for another week and a half with no other communication. Then I call Sascha. And I call Sascha. At first, he’s not picking up the phone. Then he returns the call several days later. He says, okay, let’s meet. A Friday wasn’t good for me. A Saturday wasn’t good for him. So we agree on a Sunday afternoon. This is a couple of weeks ago. I ask him what time, he says he’ll call me. But you already know where that’s going. That Sunday morning I leave a message with him and don’t hear back. Which is hardly surprising. I call again on a Tuesday afternoon.

Sascha picks up the phone only to talk down to me like he’s some doorman at an LA nite club and I’m some jabroney from out of town. He tells me he’s busy in a meeting. You know something? So am I busy- too busy to deal with this brand of horseshit from porno Johnny come latelys. Before he’s about to hang up on me, I tactfully remind Sascha that he was the one that told me to meet Sunday afternoon and then flaked.

Then, what I found particularly galling after this exchange, was learning of the fact that Sascha was sponsoring the Britney Rears 3 party. But Sascha’s apparently too busy in our terse chat, sponsoring, to keep a commitment, I gather. So what is accomplished by Sascha? The Remmet banner is down and for his undeviating devotion to the rules of fair business exchange, Sascha Koch joins the coveted ranks occupied by Nicole London. But I’ll give London one thing. At least she was doggone polite.

As I wonder what’s decidedly wrong with porn people and their business ethic, I remember another instance about four years ago when Adultfyi just started and I’m attending a Saturday night birthday party for Wankus at Sardos. And I have a witness to this- I’m talking to one of the female porn performers and during the course, she gives me a handshake to say we have a deal to run her banner, for me to call her the following Monday. I call her the following Monday and, guess what? She pulls a Sascha. This was RayVeness.