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Skeeter Wants to Fight Max on Pay-Per-View

And who can forget the famous Max Hardcore-Scotty Schwartz feud?

Apparently quite a few of you who weren’t around back when Max and the former kid star from A Christmas Story nearly came to blows on several occasions. There was that unannounced home invasion of Casa Schwartz, and I’m wondering if Max and his goon squad plans a similar surprise for Skeeter Kerkove as they had for Scotty.

Perhaps sensing same, Skeeter left me a message Wednesday night while I was celebrating a Phillies pennant win which I said would happen because of big mouth LA sports columnist and master of the redact, T.J. Simers.

Skeeter, it seems, wants to fight Max, and, boy, if porn hasn’t been down this road before. Skeeter wants to make it a pay-per-view event, and this would be right up Craig Valentine’s alley, except Max could be making license plates by the time this event was arranged.

Although it would be a boxing match, Skeeter has all the wrestling patois down. He’s calling Max a pansy, a twink and one who walks light in the cowboy boots. But Skeeter also says he’s sure as shootin’ about the integrity of his challenge.

Skeeter suggests that he and Max both enter the ring smoking cigarettes and drinking whiskey, but, I’m afraid, that wrestler Sandman might sue for trademark infringement.

“I think this is the way to go,” continues Skeeter. “But I’m not going to do it just to make ten or twenty bucks. That’s lame. I want to make money. I will beat Max’s ass to a pulp.”

“I would like to do this legally,” states Skeeter. “Through a license or whatever.”

And that’s wherein the feud stems- from the fact that Max is saying Skeeter shoots without permits.

Skeeter also wants me to be the M.C.

“I want to do this for fun and take an ass whoopin’ to the next level,” continues Mr. Kerkove.

“Let’s do it- Max is a queen, he is a twink and Johnny Thrust, a twink, still owes me $200. I want my money now and if I don’t get my money back I’m going to request that his wife Gwen Summers, does another scene with Lexington Steele and his oversized black penis. So she remembers this is what it’s like to have a black cock inseminating you. Three times the size of your little twink boyfriend/husband.”


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