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If you catch this week’s Celebrity Babe of The Week Kim Cattrall in a Roman Polanski film titled The Ghost Writer you might fail to recognize her.

[No, she’s not the naked 13 year old girl being fed booze and anally penetrated in the hot tub.]

What we’re meaning to say, is, the British-born [Liverpool] Cattrall is speaking British. That acting conceit will probably throw you off, if your cultural reference point is Kim’s sassy New Yorker Samantha Jones in Sex and The City.

Upon viewing The Ghost Writer, however, you might also agree that Cattrall is probably the hottest 55 year old broad speaking British you may ever freeze a frame to.

In the film, Cattrall plays the snooty assistant to the former British Prime Minister [Pierce Brosnan]. Since we dig blonde, haughty, older chicks to begin with, we had a productive Sunday afternoon recently involving Cattrall, her fabulous MILF-thickened legs and black pumps staring us in the face.

Mentally, we defiled and sullied the bitchy character Kim portrays, and in a matter of minutes the job was done. Had Cattrall kicked off her shoes showing us her wonderful bare legs and feet, it would probably have taken mere seconds.

What that “job” exactly was, we won’t say since this is a family-oriented website. But it involved something that smelled an awful lot like a chlorinated cleaning product and a soiled cotton-based bathroom item that needed to be put in an industrial wash at very high temperatures.

What makes Cattrall in this picture all the more fascinating to talk about is the fact that she had to drop an unsightly ring of globular suet. To explain, the lard was a prop, gained for another film coming out this week called, Meet Monica Velour [pictured].

The fact that The Ghost Writer was filmed afterwards but has been out in circulation for many months tells you Meet Monica Velour probably met an ass that hadn’t been wiped, thus the smell.

But that’s just a surmise. For all we know, Meet Monica Velour may wind up being “The Wrestler” of films about has-been porn stars living in trailer parks. If so, it’s certainly a comeback of sorts for Kim from those putrid, career-defaming Sex and The City movie projects.

The fact that Mickey Rourke was on a training regimen of tanning beds, steroids and beauty parlors to look his part in The Wrestler, tells you something, too, about sexism and the way older babes are perceived in this culture.

Kim, on the other hand, was required to gain a ton of weight on a milkshake and Chicago pizza diet to look like a down on her heels porn chick with husky arms and a flabby midsection.

Fie to this trope we say. We know loads of old porn chicks in fabulous shape. Then, again, they’re mostly hookers now, so one might see that sensational body imaging is a matter of pride, professionalism and an effective sales pitch.

But what we particularly admire about Kim and her career is the fact that nudity to her, is like insincere bullshit to a politician. Very natural and like falling off a bicycle.

Story is told that lusty Kim once incurred the wrath of Leonard “Spock” Nimoy when she posed for unauthorized nudie photos on board the Starship Enterprise with her appearance in the sixth film of that monumentally so-so series.

The fact that Nimoy, of his own, has snapped compromising pics of many aspiring actresses makes his grand standing look just like that. Truthfully, it’s like one creepy uncle advising another to lay off the young niece’s wet spot.

With epidermis rarely an issue for her, Kim’s early acting resume is a catalogue of gawky portrayals and the kind of embarrassing cinema one might never admit to patronizing: There’s Police Academy, Porky’s and Mannequin for starters. And we’re sure Mr. Skin has a few other examples up his sleeve that we couldn’t begin to imagine.

It’s when Kim began assuming the curves of sumptuous womanhood that we took more notice of her, and, thusly, a long trail of expired and crusted semen from the foot of our bed to the TV screen began appearing.

When she was a mere three months old, Kim’s family emigrated from Great Britain to the Canadian city of Courtenay, British Columbia. At 11, she returned temporarily to England and took acting classes at the fabled Sir Laurence Olivier Academy of Fine Arts where she learned how to sound really cultivated and Shakespearean – arguably time and money wasted considering her subsequent career ambitions.

Kim did, however, manage a brief contract with Universal Films, thus joining immortals like Bela Lugosi, Lon Chaney Jr., Boris Karloff and Lt. Colombo on that roster.

It was Kim’s exemplary work on The Incredible Hulk TV show as Dr. Gabrielle White that would lay the groundwork for the future, though there were scants scenes we could recall jacking off to.

Speaking of jerking off, Kim’s varied theatrical work includes a role in Chekov’s Three Sisters, the Russian author’s somewhat serious take on The Three Stooges but with women playing custard pie-tossing plumbers invited to a society bash. As such, it’s been argued in some schools of thought that Sex and The City is actually Chekov-inspired.

Once again Cattrall’s smoldering sexuality would become an issue. A Nissan commercial was yanked off New Zealand television in 2006 for being too ribald. Something about the suggestiveness of the words “transmission fluid” is said to have had something to do with it.

On September 12, 2009 Kim received a star on Canada’s Walk of Fame in Toronto where hers sits regally between a hockey goalie’s and the owner of Molson’s brewery.