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The Immorals – Porn’s First Soap Opera, From Arrow Productions; a review

It was an era where women wore big hair and black patent leather pumps; where men wore mullets, preened like the achy breaky Billy Ray Cyrus and Bill Margold brought the first soap opera to the porn screen.

The year was 1989, and The Immorals,, is about a judge [Margold] grieving over his son [Joey Silvera] who’s thought to be lost or killed in Vietnam. The suspense is little held because Silvera, the poster boy for bewilderment, shows up in the third act. But, in between, the hijinx in Margold’s chambers is more like congress. Physical congress.

Viper, a sexually consummate woman noted for the tattoo that continued down the left side of her pale rib cage, is the housemaid. Lee Carol, the big-titted blond with the fuck-you foul mouth is the wife who can’t stop spending the judge’s money. Ray Victory, the muscular, go-to black performer of his era, is the gardener who spends more time pruning the bushes indoors than out. And the leggy Alex Storm is apparently the judge’s secretary who brags to Silvera about having done everyone in the chambers one time or another.

Margold’s other son [Tony Marino] is a bum who doesn’t have a job, and his bimbo girlfriend Stephanie Rage is on him about that and the fact that he puddles the bed sheets with his cum. In dialogue that would suggest an imminent cream pie but doesn’t deliver, the hirsute Marino humps Rage on the sheets and leaves his trademark once again on the percale. Victory later humps Stephanie, who can’t manage to get her ass out of bed, on said sheets once Johnny ducks out the door.

Between jogging and the gym, Margold’s needs are satisfied in an oral way, and in one scene, at Viper’s urging, he puts a shot in the cream pitcher. Silvera’s appearance is a complete shock to his system and leaves Part 1 in cliffhanger status. But the real question in all of this is whatever happened to you Johnny Marino? The nation turns its lonely eyes to you.

And your achy breaky mullet.


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