Porn Valley — Ginger Lynn had a few things to say about last week’s AEE convention. While Ginger was running a few minutes late, Ginger’s co-hort Amber Lynn also mentioned that she was at the show along with Bridget Monroe. “She was really excited because she was up for the award of best anal queen,” said Amber who was signing at the PAW booth.
“Not only did she not win but they didn’t even announce the category or the name.”

[It’s news to us that there’s a best anal queen category.]

“Another thing that they did at the AVN show which was kind of disappointing for me is that they would read off only 3 or 4 out of the list of names [the nominees],” Amber continued. “Let’s say you were up for Best Actress and your name was on it. They would clear you right out off the top, like not even acknowledging that you had been nominated. So everyone at the table was, like, they didn’t mention my name. I said welcome to the club, boys and girls. They’ve been doing that for years.”

Ginger explained that her being late was due to the fact that she had to take her dog, Clyde, to the vet for emergency operation. Her dog was playing with a talking ball that dispenses cookies. “He loves this ball.” However, the mechanism that dispenses the cookies somehow sucked in her dog’s tongue. “We had to put him under and do surgery to get this toy off of my dog’s mouth.” Ginger said had it been a smaller dog it would have died. “I’m like such a mom. I’m in the vet crying. But he’s okay.”

Amber mentioned that she had met the manufacturer of the glass dildos at the AEE. “I wanted to interview him live when we were doing the interviews over at the KSEX booth. He has decided that he’d like to be the sponsor of our show.” Ginger said his name was Rick. “He said you guys can all see that he’s got the most beautiful glass cocks, and that he’s going to be providing us with them for our shows,” Amber said. Ginger mentioned that the company also produces wands which are great for G-spot stimulation. “We used one on Cytherea and she squirted about 12 feet up in the air.”

Ginger also included the fact that her date in Vegas was Matt Sorum of Guns n’ Roses. “But I didn’t do him, though,” she said. Ginger explained that Brad Armstrong introduced her to some guy [she mumbled who he was]. “I had too many options. I didn’t want to make anyone upset or blow any future options.” Lynn then went on to admonish someone in the chat room for making a snide comment about Guns n’ Roses and heroin addicts. “You’re not there. You don’t know all the details,” she said. “And all of us in our lives have done things that maybe we shouldn’t have at one time or another.” Lynn then suggested that the guy who made the comments could eat the peanuts out of her poop. Amber said Matt Sorum was an old friend whom she’s known for years. “He’s darling.”

Ginger said the favorite part of the show for her was her fans. “That was wonderful.” Ginger noted that every day that she walked on to the convention floor there was this stench. “It was a foul smell. I didn’t know what it was. Then I’m walking out and one of the people I’m with said there’s Ron Jeremy. It became quite clear what the stench was.” Lisa the Lesbian said she was at the Playboy party the next day when Jeremy caught her eye. “I’m looking at him and he does this little finger-wave at me. I smiled like I was constipated and turned around.”

Amber said there were a few things at the show that didn’t make sense to her. “Jenna came up behind me, grabbed me and hugged me and said I’ve been getting these messages from you.” Amber explained that after 911, there was going to be a big benefit at one of the clubs, Deja Vu. “They asked me if I would call Jenna and ask her to be in this benefit for the fire fighters and the families of 911.” Amber said she called and talked to Jenna’s assistant Linda who promised that Jenna would get back to her. “She never did.” Amber went on to explain that she hadn’t been contacting Jenna after that but suspects that some guy in her building was somehow doing it.

Amber wanted to know who did Ginger’s makeup for the award show. Ginger said her friend, Crystal. Ginger was first told they had someone who wanted to do her, that he does Gladys Knight. “They had a man who was very sweet and he was like $450 a day to do the makeup.” Ginger said the guy did the makeup her first day of the show and she looked like a Puerto Rican hooker. “I looked in the mirror and I screamed.” Ginger said she then washed her face off and called Crystal to fly her out. “But she was already there.”

Aside from the stench in the building, Ginger said there was a bizarre happenstance or two. “I was being considered to host the AVN awards this year-allegedly.” Ginger said she was in contact, initially, with someone from AVN about it but was never called. “Then I saw that Jenna was hosting the awards.” Lynn said that was okay but AVN could have called her. But on Saturday the day of the awards, she was asked to present.

“I thought that’s so nice,” she said. “They didn’t contact me and let me know I wasn’t hosting. But they still did include me in the show even though it’s going to happen, like in an hour. That’s okay because I’m excited and honored that they asked me.” Ginger said she then went backstage at the awards to get ready to present. “I meet with this girl Cherry Rain who’s going to be presenting with me who says, ‘Paul and I have been going out for a year now- this is my ring and I guess we’re going steady.’ “

Ginger said Cherry was cute and bubbly but she couldn’t talk on stage and begged off from doing so. “I can’t talk and I don’t want to talk on stage and so I asked Paul if you could help me give out the award,” Ginger quotes Rain as saying. “It was really nice, that the reason I’m actually giving out the award is because Paul Fishbein’s girlfriend-allegedly- is too afraid to go on stage by herself.” Ginger continued to say how sweet and beautiful Rain was, when Amber asked if she had talent. “I didn’t say she did, but I really liked her,” Ginger replied. “So I’m thinking okay, well actually I’m here to babysit. But that’s okay, too.”

Lisa, whose date was April Flowers was getting into a story about her having a few issues at the show this year. But her story veered off. Ginger wanted to tongue her ass but Lisa said she had dingleberries.