Porn Valley- So Rob Spallone’s supposed to be directing this gangbang at Exotic Studios. At least I get the impression that he is. I ask Spallone for confirmation, and he tells me a fuckin’ monkey could direct one.
“But they don’t understand that,” says Spallone. “Yeah, I’m directin’ it.”
Spallone asks Craig Valentine, Summer Haze’s husband, how many women are supposed to be showing up for this all-female gangbang that’s been getting the hype and the big-push the last couple of weeks.
Valentine first tells him 300.
“You’re talking to me,” says Spallone.
Valentine revises the figure at 126.
“You’re talkin to me,” says Spallone.
Valentine thinks maybe 86.
“You’re talking to me,” says Spallone.
I counted 10- maybe more showed up after I left, but I counted 10. Enough for a Pamela Peaks cooking show. Spallone counts 12. But it’s a numbers game. Spallone, who used to own a strip club called The Treasure Chest, was at Deja Vu in North Hollywood for a party the night before.
“The sign says 100 pretty girls and 3 ugly ones,” says Spallone. “I yelled out that they ought to think about changing the sign.” Spallone got a lap dance, and after one song told the girl that was enough.
But when it comes to gangbangs, it never seems like enough.
Spallone’s remembering the Houston 500 and that only 68 guys actually showed up. “What, we got- 12 here?” he asks. And when it comes to numbers, Spallone remembers another story- the time Rob Black wanted to bring 1,000 dead fish in the old Gourmet Studio for a sex scene- have girls fuck on the dead fish. Spallone tells Black, you out of your fuckin’ mind?
“He did it in somebody else’s building,” says Spallone with a shrug.
The Haze gangbang is being sponsored by Liquid Ice which I gather is the strippers’ buzz-drink of choice. Valentine has cases of it on hand, he’s telling someone on the phone.
Playboy is covering the event, but Spallone announces earlier that Ron Jeremy wouldn’t be there because his plane couldn’t land. There was a thick fog blanketing L.A. Saturday morning. But Valentine, optimistic, is telling Spallone, Jeremy will be there. And Spallone is telling me about an upcoming anal movie he’s shooting called Get Your Shit Off My Dick. Spallone is talking up another scene he wanted to shoot featuring Oliver- he wanted to stick a cellphone up Oliver’s ass and have someone dial the number to see if you could hear it ring in his ass.
Spallone’s wrapping up a project for HBO- about the making of a porn movie.
“You will see everything that goes on behind the scenes,” he says. In one segment, a black guy couldn’t pop and Spallone substitutes him for a white guy who does the pop shot. Which is absurd sounding enough, but Spallone says it’s shot in such a way that nobody knows shit.
In an interview, Playboy is asking Spallone what brings him there to the gangbang. Spallone makes with the face.
“I’m getting paid,” he tells them.
Spallone’s notified that Cara Lott was there.
“She bring her crack pipe?” he asks.
“I should be a drug counselor,” Spallone comments. “I’d make a lot more money.”
Spallone spots a redhead and asks if the blue Saturn in the parking lot was her car.
“Did you pay for this?” he asks her. Explaining why he asked the question, Spallone shows her that it’s made of soft metal. Spallone at first thought it was a movie prop.
Playboy’s also interviewing Haze who gives a brief rundown of her career, mentioning the fact that she made a name for herself overseas before she ever became known in the states. Haze touts the fact that she can make a guy pop in five minutes or less [it’s a numbers game], that she’s known as the European Blowjob Queen. Haze is telling a story that she brought some guy in for his birthday, that he was working the front desk of a hotel that she was staying at; and she thought it would be a great idea for a present by having him on the shoot.
Haze is wearing something that looks like diamond studs on her ankles. I ask if those are her house arrest bracelets. She gets a big laugh out of this.
Meanwhile, I hear that Tyra Banx signing a contract with Adam & Eve is just a rumor, that, evidently, the company got a lot of phone calls and decided against it. Stormy was throwing out some comments about a pending Banx contract on KSEX earlier in the week. Wankus from KSEX sees Big Daddy MacNasty.
“How often’s that suit been dry cleaned this past week?” Wankus wants to know, suggesting that The Nasty Boyz and their Blues Brothers act, have turned porn events into a personal launching pad. In fact, the Nasty’s are doing another pilot at BB King’s Blues Club on Sunday afternoon. The Nasty’s are doing more pilots than a drunken stewardess.
Spallone mentions the fact that Craig Valentine first wanted to shoot the gangbang on a Sunday.
“Go ahead. The pornchicks will be in church, and I’ll be watching football,” Spallone told him.
Spallone strikes up a conversation with a blonde named Barbie. Barbie shot for Spallone the day before and worked with some guy named Dwayne who fucked her in the ass. Barbie, hearing Spallone’s comments, mentions the fact that she goes to church. Spallone finds this hard to believe and asks Barbie if she confesses to the priest that she takes 10 black cocks up her ass. Barbie tells Spallone that God already knows this.
But Spallone wants to know if her boyfriend knows this. Spallone asks who she was banging the night before. Barbie answers her boyfriend who’s a lawyer but Spallone, through questioning, determines that this guy really isn’t her boyfriend, just some casual fuck.
“Did he fuck you in the ass?” Spallone asks her. Barbie says no, but that he went down on her.
“Did he like the way Dwayne tasted?” Spallone asks. Spallone then tells Barbie that if she can make her head spin around he’d like to shoot her again.
Big Daddy MacNasty is cracking up
“You’re good,” he tells Spallone.
“I am good at this, arent’ I?” says Spallone.