Porn Valley- Whitney Wonders and her two live crew were guests of Harry Weiss and Daphne Rosen on KSEX’s Two Live Jew last week.

Wonders was about to tongue the microphone and Weiss seriously cautioned her against that. Rosen said it would take the rest of the show to count off all the places it had been.

Wonders mentioned that she left porn in 1998. She started in 1994.

“You did magazines for quite a few years,” Rosen pointed out. Wonders returned to the business about a month ago and talked about how she went to Guam in 2003 and was then going to get married in Pennsylvania.

“I left Guam with him.” A week later the relationship was done.

“Obviously that didn’t happen- he’s a cocksucker!” said Wonders of her former fiance. “He will die a horrible death. Karma’s a bitch.”

Wonders, who wasn’t the most coherent of interviewees, said something about if she didn’t get back by a certain date, the guy was going to get kicked out of the military.

“He’s a non-officer,” she said. “He’s actually going for Staff Sergeant. Should I mention his name and that he’s a cocksucker?”

“Alleged cocksucker,” said Weiss. “Because in the army it’s don’t ask, don’t tell.”

“No it’s Air Force and they do ask and they do tell,” replied Wonders. “Everything.”

Wonders then said something about this guy having to send her stuff from Italy, however that country got involved in the discussion. Apparently that’s where the guy is now stationed.

“He screwed me,” she kept saying. “I left with him from Guam and I could have stayed in Guam. I was planning on coming back. I had everything I needed.”

According to what Wonders was saying, she put a deposit on a wedding dress and then her fiance tells her he isn’t ready.

Wonders was then talking about PayPal and Weiss asked her if she owned her own tits or was leasing.

“Actually somebody else bought these in 1994,” said Wonders, stating that the guy who bought them died on his way to picking her up from the doctor’s office.

“You got to be shitting me,” said Weiss. Wonders said the guy, who flew from LA to Phoenix, got in a head-on car collision with a semi-truck without the trailer. Wonders said the other driver was so stupid he didn’t know his own name. Wonders also said the guy that died was your proverbial dream man and he was loaded.

“I was coming off the drugs in surgery and his mother told me she didn’t blame me. He came to Phoenix for me. He would have been in LA.”

“You couldn’t get the tits in LA?” Weiss asked.

“That wasn’t the point,” said Wonders. Rosen noted that Wonders was in porn during “the golden age of boobs.” Wonders said she came in at the tail end and now boobs are coming back.

“I’m, like, thank God- men love boobs.” At the same time Wonders said there are girls that have nice little perky ones and she wouldn’t kick them out of bed for it. Wonders mentioned that she’s envious of the fact of little eraser head nipples.

“The only thing I can’t buy in plastic surgery- that pisses me off.”

Noting the differences between porn then and now, Wonders brought up The Donkey Punch.

“Isn’t it illegal to punch someone?”

Weiss explained that the movie which featured the donkey punch was totally vilified.

“I don’t think anyone’s stupid enough to do that again,” Weiss said.

“It should be vilified- sex and violence do not go together,” Wonders agreed. “There’s a big difference between bondage and violence. They are not the same thing.”

Wonders noted that when she was in the business it was a lot more vanilla.

“I’m vanilla.” Neither does Wonders do anal or bukkakes. Weiss asked her about cream pies.

“I just heard that term and I’m not even sure I know what that is,” she stated.

Weiss explained that was an internal cum shot, and Wonders said that would depend on the guy and that they would pay her more money to do one. Besides that, Wonders didn’t think she could do one, noting that when she had sex without condoms in her personal life, the cum would get stuck in her. Rosen mentioned the fact that there used to be a lot of shaving porn.

“Where men would shave the women on camera- I didn’t understand it.”

“I used to have to grow my hair for that,” explained Wonders. “Thanks Alex; thanks Jonathan. Bite me.” Wonders said she wouldn’t even know what that fetish would be called.

“They told me they almost didn’t shoot me that day because I wasn’t hairy enough. I’m like I’m not growing that any more than that. I have to turn down work, now.”

Asked what got her off, Wonders said she didn’t have an answer for that.

“A lot of fifties in my pocket,” Weiss suggested.

Quincy a caller-in asked if Wonders would ever do a Slap Happy movie. Weiss had to explain the term to her and when he did, Wonders commented, “Hell, no!”

“They should be jailed and chained to a wall and butt fucked for 20 years for that shit,” she said. “That’s violence against women. No.”

Upon further questioning, Wonders mentioned that she started out dancing.

“I got the boobs because I wanted to,” she said. “I got them done. Then I was featuring. I did a couple of magazines and then I turned around and started doing girl-girl porn. I started doing that because I had a boyfriend. Of course he was a man at the time and he didn’t want me doing men on film. He can bite me, too.”

Rosen noted with some sarcasm that Wonders had very positive feelings towards men.

Wonders said that was for the men who screwed with her.

“Men in general- we don’t need them- but they’re a whole lot of fun,” Wonders said. “We should feed them and bathe them and just keep them and put them away when we don’t want them around.” Wonders also said there were enough extravagant sex toys around as to preclude men.

“You know why you need us?” Weiss asked her. “Because we make the batteries.”