Porn Valley- On a weekend when a team of trannies could have beaten the Chicago Bears, Gia Darling, with a smile as long as a football side line, is playing it all demure and sexy. Darling, this year’s reigning TS Performer of the Year, is shooting the latest interactive movie from Goodfellas Productions. Devil’s Film, www.devilsfilm.com does the distributing, and Steve Volponi, who has fingers in both company vagina holes, is hugging the monitor, though not in the literal sense.

Even at the eleventh hour, Volponi is negotiating the condom clause. The first two movies Volponi’s shot in this Up Close interactive niche have starred Danielle Foxxx and Vickie Richter. Both movies have been “bagless,” meaning, hey, what the fuck. However, Darling does not go bagless. She insists on using condoms.

Darling offers Volponi a marketing option, however.

“You can say it’s in the bag,” she tells him.

Darling works pretty much exclusively with a male performer named Jimbo, a guy with a shaved head and muscles in development. To maintain the illusion of interactivity, Jimbo in one sequence, has to practically fuck her ass like a limbo dancer to keep his head out of frame. Jimbo’s own butt cheeks are quivering violently and he has to grip them to hold the angle. This is not an easy job.

Which probably isn’t an easy job for a lay person, as well, Volponi’s talking about how he took Darling shopping the night before for some sexy wear. And Darling’s flashing him kiss lips across the monitor. Volponi’s blushing. During some pretty girl shots, Darling’s wearing a short dress that looks like a blue colored disco ball. Volponi asks if he can get her anything.

“Yeah- a pregnancy test,” Darling laughs.

Volponi mentions that Darling was his first choice to get the interactive series started but schedules conflicted.”I’m very excited- Gia’s never worked for Devil’s Film before,” he states. Volponi then asks Darling what nationality she is.

“Spick,” replies Darling nonchalantly.

“What kind of Spick?” Volponi continues.

“Central American,” she replies. This is the way it goes all day. During a sequence in which Darling’s wearing a spider web unitard, fondling her breasts, Volponi announces that he’s discovered a wet spot on his jeans. With style and grace, Darling yells over to Jimbo in a Bronx accent, “Hey play wit my balls!”

During some down time, Darling’s telling Jimbo that she spent the week before making her dining room pink and getting botoxed.

Later during a little sexual monologue Darling refers to herself the Jenny McCarthy of trannies. Except when she gets on her knees and lets the package hang, you can see a lot of Senator Eugene McCarthy.

“Fuck my shit hole, she urges Jimbo. Volponi, kidding, thinks she should call it her turd clipper.

“Okay, fuck my turd clipper,” Darling says, dutifully, on camera. Volponi goes, wait, and tells Darling she’s out of control. When Jimbo’s out of ear shot, someone on the crew suggests sticking a piece of chocolate doughnut in Darling’s asshole just to get Jimbo’s reaction.

Darling mentions that she’s been in the business ten years and started out as a personal assistant to director Roy Alexander. But at first she was freaked out by the nudity, she explains.

During a moment in the script that calls her to masturbate, Darling ,obviously no longer freaked out by nudity, is stroking her cock. She says she feels like a little girl with a dick. And Volponi wonders what she’s thinking about as she’s playing with herself.

“Balancing my checkbook,” Darling replies flatly. She then tells Volponi she needs a minute to go drain her meat.

“It’s timeless,” Volponi roars.

That’s because you got to love a woman who’s comfortable with her own dick.