DENVER, CO – This coming Sunday is the famous PT’s poker run for you motorcycle fanatics. The ride will visit all the PT’s clubs and a bar or two in-between. It us usually about a 50 mile round trip. Of course I will be attending as well as my girlfriend and frequent costar in adult movies, DynaMite. During the stop at PT’s Show Club on Evans, I and other girls will be posing nude on motorcycles. You will be able to roll your bike into the nude side of the club and take photos of the sexiest girls in Colorado draped over your bike. The ride meets up at All Stars Sports Cabaret at 11:30 AM, this coming Sunday morning. All Stars is located at the North West corner Santa Fe Drive (Highway 85) and West Quincy Ave. in south suburban Denver. Cum join the fun. How can you beat the combination of nude women and motorcycles? I guess you could go to church instead. Right? ——————————————————————————————————- Just previous to the PT’s poker run, I will be showing my tricked out and nitro blown, very rare, 1983 Honda CB1100F at Faye Myers Honda. Faye Myers is hosting a huge swap meet in their parking lot and a great many bikes will be on display. I will be there from about 8 AM until 11 when I head over to the PT’s poker run. —————————————————————————————————— The 2004 running of the “Catholic School Girl” run is fast approaching. This year is it scheduled for Saturday, June 12. As you know, this run is for adults 21 years of age and older. This run is about sex, nudity, beer and motorcycles and is not for the faint of heart. Last year we had nearly 4000 riders attend this ride and expect nearly 5000 this year. If motorcycles and scantily clad women dressed in school girl outfits excites you, do not miss this ride. Last year I was voted the “2003 Ms. Catholic School Girl” and I look forward to crowning a new winner this year. Of course, I won this honor after successfully having sex with eleven girls during the course of the 200 mile poker run/ride. I intend to beat my 11 girl record by 4 this year and am shooting for 15. Can I do it? Cum join the ride and find out. This ride is so famous for it’s debauchery, the host city is trying to ban us. Not to mention the Catholic Church is voicing it’s opinion which is to say the very least, anti this ride. I am including the text from a recent newspaper article concerning the attempts to shut down this ride. I promise you, this ride is not to be missed. Party Plan Upsets TownBy: Kate MartinReporter-Herald Staff Writer

TIMNATH – Angry residents of this town of 200 turned out in force Wednesday to protest a “Catholic School Girl Benefit”. The event they are opposing, however, has nothing to do with charity or the Catholic Church. Instead, residents fear the June 11-13 Catholic School Girl Benefit and Poker Run may turn into a three-night drunken party of immorality and debauchery.

“The Catholic School Girl Run was presented as a charity run,” said Timnath resident Diane Fusaro. “It was not a charity run. People are dressed as the pope, as bishops, and as Catholic school girls and acting in sexual ways. It offends me as an educator and it offends me as a Christian.”

As organizers say on this events website, “This run has nothing to do with families, charity, or even morality. This is about motorcycles, babes in (or out of) short skirts, strip bars and beer.”

Historically, the event has been held at the town’s bar, Colorado Feed and Grain, and lasted only one night.

This year, organizers hope to host a few people in a flat, grassy field in Larimer County, northwest of Timnath, with the event lasting three days. Participants pay a $20 fee, $25 for couples, and gain access to free beer throughout the night, and camping at the site.

Included in the Catholic School Girl Benefit Poker Run is participation in a poker run, motorcycle contests and games, and a contest for Miss Catholic School Girl.

For two hours Wednesday, residents of Timnath passionately protested the expanded event, which may happen outside of their town. John Metcalf, the owner of the Colorado Feed and Grain, spoke at the meeting to request permission to serve alcohol outside for the poker run that is scheduled to happen during the event.

In a poker run, people drive to five different places and collect five different cards. At the end of the run, whoever has the best poker hand wins a prize.

“Last year, we had problems with women showing their breasts in my parking lot,” Metcalf said at the meeting. “You have my assurance that it won’t happen again.”

County Commissioner Tom Bender said Wednesday morning that he has fielded complaints about the event from the Archdiocese of Denver. In fact, the county cannot prevent the poker run from happening because the county does not have a special event permitting process.

Currently, the only way one can get permission for a special event is through the Board of Adjustments. This process can take months and cost several hundred dollars, senior planner Al Kadera said. The county must wait for a violation to occur before action can be taken, Kadera said.

“Business or commercial is not allowed in that area,” he said. “There is no way they will get approved (through the Board of Adjustments) by June 11.”

Gael Cookman, deputy county clerk, said Bruce Pino, one of the organizers has not contacted her to obtain a liquor license. Even if alcohol is given away for free, she said, organizers are still responsible for having a liquor license.

But a liquor license request would be turned down, she said, because this event does not fit the profile for one that would warrant a liquor license. Instead of drinking beer provided by the event organizers, she said, those who attend will most likely bring their own.

Cookman said, “They’ve been doing this for three years now, but it wasn’t a three-day event.”

The best thing the county can do, Cookman said, is to alert the sheriff if there are liquor license and other violations.

Claudia DeLude, Larimer County’s code enforcement officer, said the organizers are trying to comply with the law in order to ensure the success of the event.

“It might be in our best interest to work with them, ” DeLude said. “Shutting down a party of that size is not going to be pretty.”

A number of zoning violations could occur if the event continues as advertised. On-site camping is not permitted on that lot, and the planned motorcycle contests could violate the county’s noise ordinance. And if the organizers of the event distribute liquor, they could be arrested, Cookman said.