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Captain Lust: a review; From Arrow Productions

Hey, matey, you might be needin’ a treasure map to locate the whereabouts of Pirates 2- the highly touted sequel to Pirates- which was supposed to have been out this year.

So while the winds bid you fare-thee-well in that quest, allow Captain Lust, a gem from the Arrow Productions archive, serve your temporary ambitions, if buccaneer movies with earthy-looking scullery maids and salty-looking dogs are your bent.

Starring Sharon Mitchell and Wade Nichols, Captain Lust, though you might not think so, is a porn film for other reasons that could never have been made in today’s climate. And it’s got nothing to do with budget. This movie has that all over the face of it, too, with a huge cast, solid acting, authentic props and costuming. [Except for Nichols, however, there’s nobody’s idea of a pretty boy or prom queen in this ensemble- a factor which lends more period authenticity.]

It’s some of Captain Lust’s push-the-envelope subject matter that’ll make your timbers shiver. With silent film-style plot cards guiding it along, there’s a roving tale of horny contessas, tortured monks, deaf mutes, hidden treasure, rape, pillage, plunder as well as naked island girls, virgin sacrifices and Nichols, apparently the son of the Count of Monte Cristo, in search of his father’s stolen booty. Or buried booty which was stolen. It does get a little involved as another pirate- Jamie Gillis- is enlisted by Mitchell in the search to get the loot before Captain Lust’s brigands get their grubby hands on it.

Alright so far. But why Mitchell’s so involved in this becomes fairly obvious. Because he’s incognito aboard a ship manned by the marvelously cast Jack Teague, Nichols has to keep in character by fucking Mitchell without a bat of the eye. [They’re brother and sister, you see.]

“She may be common but she’ still a lady,” Nichols tells Teague as he proceeds through this artful misdirection to keep Teague in the dark.

Then toss in a nun blowing a monk and you’ve got a family night at the cinema well worth remembering.


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