From the Trenches

Porn Valley- Having retired from the U.S. Army 16 years ago while stationed in San Francisco, I stayed in the area for a couple of years while working as a broker for a company trading options and futures in the volatile but exciting foreign currencies, crude oil, metals, grains and bond markets; I did well, and the company later moved me to San Diego to open up a 30-person office. While in San Francisco, I attended the Exotic Erotica Ball, a very sexy feast for my eyes; now, 16 years later, I again attended this buffet of visually erotic sights, this time as a celebrity guest of the organizers for the event drawing over 15,000 attendees at the Cow Palace.

My trip there was for only 24 hours, but I found it one heck of a lot of fun! I arrived early Saturday morning at the Oakland Airport, just across the Bay from San Francisco’s spectacular skyline. Porn Legend Ed Powers was due in Oakland just minutes after me, so the organizers had us share a limo to the hotel. I’ve known and respected Ed Powers for a long time, so it was fun catching up on happenings as we crossed the Bay Bridge into San Francisco. Ed is a total gentleman, and a fun guy to hang out with.

We were greeted at the hotel by porn starlet Alexis Fire and her mate Rob, both of whom acted as our hosts for the entire event; they did an absolutely superb job of handling every detail for the porn star guests and Adult Industry celebrities. While heading to our individual suites, we ran into Exotic Erotic Ball co-host Tabitha Stevens who was headed for the gym-she gives great hugs! I unpacked, grabbed another shower, looked over my outline notes for the afternoon panel I was on concerning Free Speech, had lunch, and was about to head down to the lobby for a limo ride to check out the afternoon Expo and events at the Cow Palace.

At that point, Rob called and asked me to stop by so that Alexis Fire and I could coordinate our individual panel notes and presentations. When I arrived at her suite, Rob was on the phone but pointed me towards the bathroom where Alexis was exiting her shower so we could talk while she was drying off-she’s gorgeous, and I certainly enjoyed watching her pat herself dry with the towel. I’ve always enjoyed the mater-of-“factness” way porn folks walk around naked, out of convenience and recognition that it’s not a big deal for us.

Later when it was determined that Dr Sharon Mitchell’s plane was slightly delayed and might cause her to be late for her presentation about Adult Industry Medical matters (see, Ed Powers and I were rushed to the Expo to get up on stage and keep the crowd happy while awaiting Dr Mitchell’s arrival. What we thought would be just a few minutes ended up being a half-hour of us telling stories, answering questions about the business of adult filmmaking, joking around, kiddingly ball-busting each other, and interacting with the crowd.

I was happily relieved when I saw former adult starlet Miss Sharon Mitchell approaching the stage-whew! The crowd actually applauded us for standing in, but the applause might have been more in thanks for (finally?) getting us off the stage!!! Ed and I then walked around the Expo, often being stopped for autographs and photos (Ed has a huge fan base), and then gathered with the rest of the group who were going to also be on the Free Speech panel—Bunny Ranch owner Dennis Hof, porn stars Tera Patrick and Spyder Jones (aka Even Seinfeld of the TV Show “Oz”, and the band “Biohazard), Christy Canyon, Raquel DeVine, Violet Blue, and Alexis Fire.

The panel presentations seemed well regarded by the audience, and a lot of meaning information was discussed. Because we were short one on-stage chair for the Free Speech Panel, Violet Blue plucked herself down on my lap, whispering to me that she wasn’t wearing any underwear beneath her spaghetti strap summer dress-being a big mouth, and hoping to put smiles on the faces of the audience, I grabbed a microphone and told the audience about Violet’s situation. Now, I have to tell you that she’s one very sweet All-American girl, but that she devilishly and almost continually rubbed her crotch on my thigh/crotch, and sexually turned us both on; I felt like I was getting a lap dance from Violet, at the same time I had Tera Patrick on one side of me and Christy Canyon on the other! I love my job!

After the panel, we did autographing and photographing followed by appearances at the Expo booths. We then changed into our costumes for the Ball. I went as a GYN doctor, and gave breast exams to a lot of the female attendees asking for one. The attendee’s costumes were creative and VERY sexy. People from the San Francisco area certainly get into the participative spirit of exotic eroticism!

The ball was absolutely fantastic. Everyone seemed to be having a blast. The bands and on-stage entertainment excelled. At one point, we porn stars were brought on stage to be introduced; but, instead of it being a quickie recognition, we were asked to “play around” for a bit and stall for time while the next band was setting up behind the stage curtain-yes, we had the crowd going wild, especially when Ed Powers and I started feeling up the porn starlets and they started “playing” with us, and each other. At one point, we all “attacked” Tabitha Stevens while she was trying to describe the on-stage action happening all around her. I think it was Violet Blue, but it might have been Raquel DeVine, who then unzipped by pants and gave me wood while the crowd cheered on, only to have Tabitha’s co-host come running out on stage to instruct us not to let my erect penis show-darn it!! Oh well, it still felt good inside my pants, and it help her hand keep warm. Later, we ventured out into the crowd near the stage and visited with lots of fun-loving folks.

Dennis Hof and his entourage of beautiful Bunny Ranch girls, along with Ron Jeremy, were the center of attention as the “Sexcetera” folks from Playboy Television filmed their every move. After the Ball, the Bunny Ranch folks hosted a fun pool party back at our hotel.

The next morning I met up with Dennis Hof, Ron Jeremy, and Hoyt (from “Sexcetera”) for a delicious brunch buffet; yes, it’s true that Ron Jeremy seems to love buffets! The conversation at our breakfast table was fun, interesting, and full of teasing as Ron took a lot of good-natured kidding about his love of food! While Dennis Hof and I were excusing ourselves to catch the early limo to the airport, I mentioned that I had somehow ended up with an extra ticket to the buffet-as I held it up, Ron snatched it out of my hand with the speed of lightning and stuffed it in his pocket for a possible second breakfast buffet later. Though it’s only partially deserved, Ron graciously endures our constant joking around about his ability to enjoy buffets—Ron Jeremy is truly a great guy!

Just like I enjoyed the previous day’s limo conversation with Ed Powers, I also enjoyed this day’s ride and discussions with Dennis Hof; he’d be a fine example for a Masters-level course in Business Management studying the Nation’s top-level corporate CEO’s. Dennis is an All-American, one who is an outstanding “good guy”!

As we head into the holidays, let’s all keep in mind the sacrifices our military members make for us; and, let’s also be mindful of their families and extended families, and all they endure while their loved ones are in harm’s way. We Americans are indeed fortunate to be Americans!

Dave Cummings —



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